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Old 05-20-2009, 09:41 AM   #1
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pixiedust31 HB User
Smile nothingness

Hi

nice to meet you all

im new erm i get writers block when i do things like this

ok so im 25 iv been a selfharmer now for 7years i have up and down sides with my slefharm and depression suffer with bp aswell

im having urges and my nightmares are a lot worse since i stopped and my moods go from one extreme to the other i am trying to find ways to cope without selfharming i new it would never be easy but just the urges are so strong its hard to deal with and with the lack of sleep and i have a stressful job and i have been rather off with people

i want to explain why but i am worried for my job if i do tell them and they do not understand and push me out so i keep it quite again another thing i keep and i hate that but i feel i have no choice

anyway im going on its nice to meet you all i hope i make friends and can be of some help

thanks for reading pixie

 
Old 05-22-2009, 04:15 PM   #2
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: nothingness

Quote:
Originally Posted by pixiedust31 View Post
Hi

nice to meet you all

im new erm i get writers block when i do things like this

ok so im 25 iv been a selfharmer now for 7years i have up and down sides with my slefharm and depression suffer with bp aswell

im having urges and my nightmares are a lot worse since i stopped and my moods go from one extreme to the other i am trying to find ways to cope without selfharming i new it would never be easy but just the urges are so strong its hard to deal with and with the lack of sleep and i have a stressful job and i have been rather off with people

i want to explain why but i am worried for my job if i do tell them and they do not understand and push me out so i keep it quite again another thing i keep and i hate that but i feel i have no choice

anyway im going on its nice to meet you all i hope i make friends and can be of some help

thanks for reading pixie
Hey Pixie,

I'm Kat how are you? We have a bit in common you and I. I have been cutting for 27 years, I also have BP II w/Severe Suicidal Depression, and Borderline Personality Disorder...Fun Huh? I'm currently on 8 different psych meds, none of which are for the self harm, because beside some off label trials of Seroquel they're aren't really any meds for this. I just started a DBT Therapy Group to try and get control of my cutting and suicidal ideations/intentions.

I've had to get stitches 7 times in the last 8 months, the last time being 11 days ago, so I know all about how bad the urges can be and how hard it is to fight them. I've went for years at times without cutting, but for the last year and a half when my brain "woke up" and remember the sexual abuse I suffered as a child, the cutting has taken back over my life. I think the longest I've went without is 10 days. But I'm still fighting to get it under control, I refuse to let the urges and the actual act of cutting to rule my life! I see a Psychiatrist once a week and a Psychologist twice a week they help alot, I know most people don't see there's quite often but I've had alot of recent suicide attempts, it's been a rough time.

This is a good spot to come for support and really great people to give it to you, your also welcome to share your stories and support with us, we all, always need support.

I'll stop this book now....

kat

 
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Old 05-22-2009, 04:17 PM   #3
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: nothingness

I also meant to tell you that I posted an Alternative Coping Skills page on this board, if you want to check it out, it's some ways my Psychologist and I came up to avoid cutting.

kat

 
Old 05-23-2009, 03:08 PM   #4
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Re: nothingness

Hi pixidust,
I think your doing the right thing by not saying anything to anybody about your personal , self harming issues at your job. With your co-worker friends. Even though they may seem like they are nice and are friends to you on the job, it is always different as a co worker relationship. If you are spending time with anyone of them individually outside of work or have done anything besides go out to lunch on lunch breaks, then I would not say a thing about SI to them. Gossip is bad in work environments + their is still a notion of Self injury means that a person is looked as unstable or crazy.
Are you in therapy? That can help you talk about feelings emotions surrounding Self harm. It can help sort through stuff and have someone to confide in, then get honest, professional support, and feedback.
The therapist can then referer you to a Psychatrist if the depression needs to be treated with medication or their is anxiety , anything that needs to be addressed in order to help you.
Self injury is never easy to deal with, and it sucks. I too, ahve struggled many years trying to understand , and come to terms with it. For me, it's a rollar coaster ride. I too wish I had the answers.

 
Old 05-23-2009, 06:36 PM   #5
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: nothingness

pIXIEdust,

I didn't even address the confiding in co-workers. You should never ever do that. I told a friend at work, a very good friend of 10 yrs and within 4 months I was let go from my job, a job I had worked at for 10 yrs.....don't ever share this kind of informatino with any kind of professional setting, besides your Doctors, people do not understand self harm/self injury. And honestly it's totallly unfair of us to expect them to. Even your friends, unless they are incredibly close and supportive I'd becareful of telling them.

kat

 
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