Basically I've been having urges to SI do to my depression and the emotional pain that I've been going through. Nobody in my family knows what its like to experience what I experience. The depression, anxiety, stress and psychosis is just coming back and getting worse. I haven't SI since I was IP back in November.
Anyways I'm just wondering how others deal with this and what other methods that could be used instead of SI to deal with the emotional pain and depression.
I don't want my parents to notice the SI that I've done and summer is coming and people are starting to wear t-shirts. I have to wear long sleeve shirts if you know what I mean.
try putting a rubber band around your wrist and flick yourself when you get the urge to SI. I also have troubles with cutting, and recently I picked it up again, but once you put your mind to it, its easy to get rid of, and one more thing: cry. cry your heart out. it helps. the body needs crying
maybe my emotions are just a little too out in the open and raw but when i feel the urge to cut nothing can stop me- i have only recently started and the sensation that comes over me is overwhelming and i am unable to resist and don't really want to- i cut because panic attacks control my life- i have gone from maybe 4 in a month to at least 2 a day and after a week or so of struggling and crying and begging for them to stop and they don't i have to take control of something and the cutting is the one thing i can control- i know this is a recovery board so that is all i will say about my struggle but i know how wrong this is- i realise how easy it must be for it to get totally out of control- i feel the pain and anquish of every person on this board that suffers from this and i pray we all find some relief and learn to stop- never give up-
I know exactly how you feel, I actually stopped for a whole year, but these days my anxiety is out of control. I get these strange attacks where it feels like something is in the room with extreme animosity towards me, like it is there, contemplating to hurt me. then I struggle to breathe, but I can't get out of the room, and then this random crying starts and I just start to SI till I feel calmer. I have always had this feeling of something following me, when I was young and stupid I engaged in a game "ouija board" and I think that it could be that, cause I saw strange ghostly thing happens since then. My friend told me that anxiety can cause you to have irrational beliefs in the supernatural, but I know what I saw, what else could this be?
I wish i could tell you something different there is one thing i could share with you when i was going through my pain and depression my family did'nt want anything to do with me til i was better! that means i did it all except the depression i just could'nt do it on my own i've tried but nothing work so i went and talk to a doctor and he put me on meds. now don't you know thats when your family want you to come arounld when we get help for our self? and go through it all by our self part that pretty low? but if they have a problem we have to help them??? not me buddy not anymore!!!! i hope you get better my friend!!!!
first of all you said that none of your family know what your going through and sadly that is almost alwasy the case. the feeling of being a si victim is one of lonliness and shame, i totally know what your feeling.
however your family might surprise you, try talking to them and explaining how you feel when you get the urge to si. its hard for them to cope with so you have to realise they may not handle it well and a lot of people try to "guilt" you out of it (ie think of what your doing to your family). this is understandable but totally wrong... explain to them that your already ashamed of what you do and that you dont need their feeling heaped on top of your own. explain you need support, not guilt because that will likely make you do it more.
as for other ways of dealing with these feelings try crushing ice cubes in your hand or punching a pillow, anything that can give you relief without injury.
meds also can be helpful but are not alwasy the answer, all they do is numb or mask the feeling, they dont make the problem go away... that is only something you can accomplish with determination, support and time.
finally as for the scars, i had my scars covered with a lovely tattoo that now symbolises to me the fact that i have come through it. aonly recently got it and this summer i have been able to wear short sleeve in the sun and get a tan would this be something you can do? if not try bio oil or something similar