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Old 06-24-2009, 10:48 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2009
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kasey138 HB User
I am a cutter

I cut my self way to deep last night now when I look at it, its a bit scary to look at. Its not bleeding now but I can see a different color skin or something under it. Can I still get stitches or has it been too long about 12 hr

 
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Old 08-06-2009, 04:53 PM   #2
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kasey138 HB User
Re: I am a cutter

Hey just so you know I go to 3 doctors. No one brags about that stuff I just could not drive do the ER and did not know what to do I ended up calling my psychiatrist on his home phone but thank for be so judgmental its really cool that you would go on to a message board and be so judgmental to someone scared and looking for help.
But i understand most people don't know what it is like to have broken there back and to have had bad hardware put in to it and had to have yet another surgery and as soon as that 3 years of healing were about over to have someone hit your can and re injure you back so you loose your job because you have to go back on disability.
I am sure your are a great person and you just can help but be bitter because you live in NJ that sucks

 
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Old 08-06-2009, 05:07 PM   #3
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trychocolate HB User
Re: I am a cutter

Hi maybe you should try the 'self-injury recovery' board for help and support as your situation is very individualized. Please forgive that poster as they may not have a complete picture of the broad spectrum of problems that some face. Hard to say when someone's name is 'hate' anything, right?

So hang out there if you choose, and don't think there isn't help on the boards for you somewhere!

choc

 
Old 08-06-2009, 08:09 PM   #4
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Re: I am a cutter

Quote:
Originally Posted by trychocolate View Post
Hi maybe you should try the 'self-injury recovery' board for help and support as your situation is very individualized. Please forgive that poster as they may not have a complete picture of the broad spectrum of problems that some face. Hard to say when someone's name is 'hate' anything, right?

So hang out there if you choose, and don't think there isn't help on the boards for you somewhere!

choc
Thank you so much, you know due to my conditions when I have a really bad day I take prescriptions to help me calm down and I remember those few days I was taking a lot so I did not remember posting it. That was my 1st post ever.
I dont like to call my dr at home and I live out in the middle of nowhere so I somtimes call the crises line but since it is such a small town I know some of the people who work it and I cant really open up to them as I hide this problem.
If I do go to the ER( I have before) they call that person in to talk to me. That makes me feel even worse I dont want someone to have to come in to work at 3 am just because I have mental problems. I would feel guilty. I am glad you introduced me to the self help forum, My psychiatrist is 300 an hour and an hour drive so he is hard for me to see very often, so maybe I can get some advise in that forum.
Thanks so much and I have not cut since then I had my dosage uped the next day.
After I broke my back I got very depressed and for a long time just wished I would have died and as soon as I was getting over that someone hit me and re hurt my back. its been 3 years of recovery and surgery after surgery, I was a ballarena and a snowboarder now I have to take a bunch of pills.

so thank you so much kind words even from someone I dont know help to lift my spirits.
have a great day

 
Old 08-06-2009, 09:53 PM   #5
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trychocolate HB User
Re: I am a cutter

Thank you for getting back with your thoughtful response. Many of us visit different boards for different issues. Getting as much information as possible has helped me be a little less confused about things.

So you can visit the back board, or pain management, or whatever else you think might help. But I am sure you know all this by now. Sounds like you have much to endure.

Glad you are finding some relief. Take it day by day. And thanks again, you sound like a caring person and most people will be very kind on the boards,

choc

 
Old 08-08-2009, 07:48 PM   #6
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Re: I am a cutter

Hi Kasey. I see my good friend Try Chocolate has responded to you. She's one of the best and most compassionate people here.

I am an abuse victim who also was a cutter many, many years ago. And to answer your question from your first post back in June, after 12 hours you usually can have stitches but it really depends on the depth and if it might be infected by then...how clean you kept it. What you might have been seeing was the layer of fat under the skin. It's yellow. You can get butterfly closures at any pharmacy and use those to close it as best as you can if you can't get to an ER. I understand the personnel issue as I was in therapy for over 20 years and I worked in the field.

Chocolate and I both have major spine issues. I broke my neck. You'll find all sorts of people on the Back, Spine, Pain and other boards who are mourning the lose of the life they had and railing against the life they are left with. You wouldn't be normal if you didn't have a lot of anger.


But self injury usually has a different cause than injury and pain. I hope you are in therapy and not just seeing a psychiatrist for meds. You need to figure out why you feel the need to self injure. I did and it was a great help.

Sorry someone went off on you. It happens here and everywhere. Some people just don't understand or they are very threatened as they feel those urges too but don't want to admit it.

Come join us those of us on the spine boards who are trying to reclaim our lives and live with constant pain and the fear of more surgery. But I'll come check on you here too.

gentle hugs.................Jenny

 
Old 08-08-2009, 08:05 PM   #7
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Ihatecats HB User
Post Re: I am a cutter

hey lets get one thing straight here okay? i was wrong for what i stated to you , if i'm just saying if you were more clear about what you were trying to say to everyone like i'm a cutter. what would you think ? i didn't know you had back problem please for give me now i feel like a big jerk!!! it takes a man like me to admit i was wrong and i'm truely sorry for what i wrote in last letter.

 
Old 08-08-2009, 08:13 PM   #8
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Ihatecats HB User
Thumbs up Re: I am a cutter

HELLO i just wanted to get this cleared to i really like cats to its just a ueser name my girfreind pick out. infact when i was a kid i had pletty of cats!!! now all grown up and have two cats and 25 AKC championship poodles that have been on national t.v !

 
Old 08-29-2009, 08:53 PM   #9
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Re: I am a cutter

Hi Kasey,
I saw this thread, and wanted to give you support . I know you went through a rough time a few weeks ago. How are you doing now? I also live in a very small town, and understand how difficult it can be to try and reach out in times when we need it the most. I have been there too.
I suffer from self harm , and realise this is a very personal issue for those who engage in this behavior. Menaing it is not always the same for everyone, the reasons why . Professionals say it is a way to cope with strong emotions, or feelings . However, I always felt like that thie is so much more then that.
Having other medical issues as well I fully understand that this only makes things even more complicated. No in the least bit easier to deal with .
I hope you will come back on here, because I like to know how your doing. Hang in there.
Cathy

 
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