| | Difficult Times
hi, umm well, my name is Jenny, and for as long as i can remember, i've never really fitted in well.
It seems kind of difficult for me to pin point a time where i really thought, "This is IT." because it was never until a few weeks/months later, i could look back and realise how bad things were.
I'd like to say; "My name is Jenny, and i have depression, and i hurt myself."
But to be completely honest, i'm absolutely terrified of what people will say.
Earlier last year, i'd say was the worst time i've had.
See, there was this guy i knew, and was really close to, and one night he had to leave, his dad was in an accident, and he moved. That doesnt sound that bad until you put his very angry violent brother into the equation.
Um, well David's brother basically blamed me for him leaving, got a few of his friends, who basically, grabbed me, beat me up and raped me.
it's weird that that's the first time i've ever actually said that.
i'm scared of these words.
Since then, i've suffered what im pretty damn sure is depression, where i cut my arm, just my left, to the point where i cant stop.
i physically can't stop.
this scares the hell out of me, cause im so dependant on it to make me feel better, and i've had real difficulties trying to tell my friends this.
My close friends, mainly them outside of school understand, sadly other ones at school arent so accepting. And im sitting here worrying, because im only 15! and i cant imagine life if i feel this, every day, for the rest of my life.
Sorry because this was so long, and probably stupid, but can anyone help?