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Old 07-13-2009, 04:21 PM   #1
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Jenny94 HB User
Thumbs down Difficult Times

hi, umm well, my name is Jenny, and for as long as i can remember, i've never really fitted in well.
It seems kind of difficult for me to pin point a time where i really thought, "This is IT." because it was never until a few weeks/months later, i could look back and realise how bad things were.
I'd like to say; "My name is Jenny, and i have depression, and i hurt myself."
But to be completely honest, i'm absolutely terrified of what people will say.
Earlier last year, i'd say was the worst time i've had.
See, there was this guy i knew, and was really close to, and one night he had to leave, his dad was in an accident, and he moved. That doesnt sound that bad until you put his very angry violent brother into the equation.
Um, well David's brother basically blamed me for him leaving, got a few of his friends, who basically, grabbed me, beat me up and raped me.
it's weird that that's the first time i've ever actually said that.
i'm scared of these words.
Since then, i've suffered what im pretty damn sure is depression, where i cut my arm, just my left, to the point where i cant stop.
i physically can't stop.
this scares the hell out of me, cause im so dependant on it to make me feel better, and i've had real difficulties trying to tell my friends this.
My close friends, mainly them outside of school understand, sadly other ones at school arent so accepting. And im sitting here worrying, because im only 15! and i cant imagine life if i feel this, every day, for the rest of my life.
Sorry because this was so long, and probably stupid, but can anyone help?

 
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Old 07-18-2009, 08:03 PM   #2
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alliepat HB User
Re: Difficult Times

Hi, Jenny! I don't cut but I have a daughter that does. She is doing better but still has difficulty at times. I think the turning point for her was when she finally starting talking to myself and her father. We did get counselling for her and she is now on medication. I can see real improvement since she has started the medication. She is really starting to open up. Can you talk to your parents about this? Let them know what is going on. They, I'm sure, love you very much and want only the best for you. While we may get freaked out some, nothing can make us go away or stop loving our children. If this is a possibility for you, I strongly suggest giving them a chance. Please forgive me if I've overstepped any boundaries. Your words just really tugged at my heart.

Allie

 
Old 07-19-2009, 02:39 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 185
Dragonomine HB User
Re: Difficult Times

Aww hun I wish I could just hug you. You're who I was at your age. lol I cut because the pain made me feel better on the inside. Like, if I had physical pain on the outside then what was going on on the inside would be ignored. It's addictive.

You're 15 and you've been violated. This isn't your fault. Tell your parents, tell your Dr, just tell SOMEONE that will be able to help you. And do it NOW.

 
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