Hey bladepain.
I have to agree with everyone else that has posted so i wont re-write it all =).
You should be very proud of your self, WELL DONE!!!
Personally i think you should

bye bye to your back-up aswell.
If you dont mind me asking has no1 ever seen the scares and asked?
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As I understand it, a traumatic experience can bring on symptoms of depression that are often repressed feelings. We cut ourselves to help over-ride the pain we feel inside
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Just incase you were wondering what the symptoms off depression are i have listen them below.
Psychological symptoms of depression include:
Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.
Low self-esteem.
Tearfulness.
Feelings of guilt.
Feeling irritable and intolerant of others.
Lack of motivation and less interest, and difficulty in making decisions.
Lack of enjoyment.
Suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming someone else.
Feeling anxious or worried.
Reduced sex drive.
Depression can also have physical symptoms, which include:
Slowed movement or speech.
Change in appetite or weight (usually decreased, but sometimes increased).
Constipation.
Unexplained aches and pains.
Lack of energy or lack of interest in sex.
Changes to the menstrual cycle.
Disturbed sleep patterns (for example, problems getting off to sleep or waking in the early hours of the morning)
You don't need to have every single one but more than 5 and you are classed as depressed. Feel free to post back which off them apply and see if we can help you.
Take care of your self
Dan.