I used to cut myself alot with * to numb the emotional mental pains of everyday life. I haven't since last summer and was wondering what else I can do when I get the urges to cut again. Is there any alternatives I could do to make me release the tension?
Something to make the same slashing action with my hands or similar might appease the urges. But I can't think of any alternatives. Any suggestions? Chewing gum doesn't work....
Last edited by mentalhealth mod; 04-07-2010 at 07:20 PM.
Reason: method is not neccesary
First off- congratulations for stopping your self harm. I know it was not easy for you to do that, and I admire your strength.
I'm not sure if this will work for you, but maybe try putting a rubber band around your wrist and when you are feeling tense or stressed, just pull it an pop it a couple of times on your wrist. You don't have to pull it way out, but just enough to give your wrist a little snap.
I personally have never cut, but have someone very close and very dear to me who did & they were able to stop as well. They confided in me and I was so sad, but also relieved that they could open up to me.
Anyway, the rubber band trick might be worth a try. Hope this helps.
PS- I think it's great that you are trying to find other ways to release the stress & emotional pain.
You are more than welcome. It hurts me to think of anyone harming & hurting themselves. We all have a right to love ourselves, we all have a right to be happy without cutting or harming ourselves, and we all have a right to KNOW we deserve to be healthy both physically & mentally.
I know I can not begin to understand the pain that would drive you to harm yourself, but I do want you to know that people, yes even strangers care. You can find help, guidance, support, and even just an ear to listen when you need to talk or even just rant in many places.
You did a good thing by coming here and talking about it- by asking questions and seeking other alternatives, you know? That tells me that somewhere inside, you must know that you are deserving of happiness and peace. You are deserving of love and understanding from others and from yourself.
Please, let me know if the rubber band trick helped. I hope it does. I know that I use one to release stress. Sometimes, I don't even pop it- I will put it on my wrist, and with the other hand, put my two fingers inside the rubber band between it & my writst and just pull & run my hand around in circles so the rubber band kind of goes around in circles (around my wrist). It really helps me, so I hope it will help you too!
Wow, Thanks Ozzybug! I've never recieved such an understanding reply from anyone before in my life, not even from people in the church! Yes I struggle with such deep emotional pain, that I would never forgive myself if I harmed others in my rage, in my pain, in my utter despair. That is why I hurt myself. But I am torn between hurting myself and knowing that it is also sin to hurt myself because God tells me His Spirit lives in me and I shall not hurt my body. But when I have no choice because my flesh is too weak, I shall hurt myself so that I never hurt another person.
The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!!
But now that my flesh is a little stronger and can endure the pains in life, yes, I am not cutting myself anymore. But my flesh is still very weak. And I thank you so much ozzy for your idea and encouragement. God bless. --Bread
Thank you Bread- I understand what you are saying about not hurting yourself, but sweetie, God also knows you are human, and therefore, not perfect. He is forgiving, but you have to be able to forgive yourself too.
I didn't share this with you before, although I did mention someone who is very close to me used to cut, but I will share it with you now. The person who used to cut is my own daughter, and when she told me and showed me her arms, it broke my heart. I just wanted to kiss those scars away, hold her and take all of her pain away from her and put it into me. I was so glad she trusted me enough to share this with me, but was also so upset with myself for not doing something or anything that would make her feel like she could come to me before she started cutting. Either way though, the fact that she did tell me was a blessing I think, and I know it was really hard for her to tell me. I also felt like I had failed (although I didn't tell her that because I didn't want her to bear my burden) because I didn't see/know it had even started. I'm deffinately one of those involved moms who spends time with her kids, and makes sure they know I care. I've never been the "whatever.....as long as they are out of my hair" kind of of mom. I show & tell them both how much I love them every day, and my daugther is an adult now!
I have always been the kind of mom who makes sure that my kids know they can come to me with anything. They know I will NOT judge them, will NOT freak out on them, and will listen when I need to listen, hug when I need to hug, and guide when I need to guide- and most of all I will support them ALWAYS. Both of my kids to this day will come to me and talk to me about many things that teens/young people don't talk with their parents about. I think that speaks volumes as to their courage, because it's hard to talk to parents about some things you know? I couldn't talk to my parents about anything, so most of the time I had to deal with problems on my own and in my own way. I'm not saying they didn't love me or weren't good parents. I know they loved and still do love me. It's just that, their answer for everything was "Because I said so", and there "fix it" for any problems was to put me on restriction or tell me I couldn't be friends with that particular friend or could no longer date that particular boyfriend. I never even got the sex talk with my parents.
Sorry, enough rambling on about me. This is about you, and your pain and your coping skills. You will get no judgements from me whatsoever. I'm here to listen to you and try and offer support and any advice you might seek.
Thank you for your kind words, and again, please do not hesitate to let me know if you need anything. I may not be on every single day, but I am here and will respond. In the mean time, I will try and come up with some other alternatives for you if that rubber band thing doesn't work.
PS- My daughter was able to stop cutting about 2 years ago. She got rid of all her "tools" and has been working on avoiding triggers, talking with people about things, and not letting problems build up inside her to the point where she feels the urge to cut. We talk openly about any problems she is having, and I will do whatever I need to do as a mom to help her and help her to help herself.
Ozzy, Wow thankyou so much for being honest. It is awesome to see this from the other side, the person who is a parent of a cutter. Your story makes me wish I had a mom like you. For my parents would condemn, nag at me everyday to ask if I cut, and give me hell about my sin if I ever told them. But I think you handled it so much in love and understanding. I thank God for your story.