How should I respond when someone asks me about my scars? I honestly don't know what to say if they don't automatically know what they are from. I usually say something as to an old injury. Most people would think I'm crazy I'm sure.
Last edited by Administrator; 04-14-2010 at 10:25 PM.
I always hide my scars the best that I can. But if anyone asks I would say "it's just past stuff and I don't want to talk about it, I'm okay now don't worry about it". And if they asked what happened in the past, I would say "I'd appreciate it if you don't ask ever because that is personal and i don't want to talk about it but I am okay" and then I would change the subject of the conversation. Hopefully the person is not a nagging person and would try to pry out info. Usually people will respect your personal past and not ask if you tell them you don't want to talk about it. hope that helps.
When I first started wearing short sleeves, one of my coworkers (kind of a friend) asked me,"What happened to your arms??" I answered her by simply saying "I fell down."
She looked at me like I was crazy and honestly trying to pass that off to her as an excuse, then called me a liar. Which made me laugh because it was so absurd. Uncomfortable situation averted! ha
It's pretty obvious where the scars came from so if someone asks I generally use sarcasm or a lame joke. It makes it easier.
Although if it's someone I don't know asking about my business, I just say "nothing" or wave it off.
Personally, I'm the type that deals with discomfort by making jokes out of it, so I tell people I got into a fight with a chainsaw. People give you this really startled look at first, then start laughing and don't really press it... it works for me.
I told an Army doctor about my fictional "incident with barbed wire" to explain a multitude of scars. The doctor clearly didn't believe it, but he couldn't reasonably prove or disprove the validity of my claim.
Normally, I hide any healing wounds. However, I pridefully think of my more mature scars as badges of courage. In this regard, I'm actually ok with talking about them because my being open on the issue may help others understand the nature of self-injury and see my perspective. Although I must also admit that I do sometimes see scars simultaneously as symbols of weakness (depending on my mood). In general, I think of my scars as reminders of the most intense points in my personal past, certainly nothing to be ashamed of - I didn't ask for the hurt or wish a lack of alternate coping resources upon myself.
I think its best to live with the consequences of your actions - don't hide your scars, embrace them as a part of your body - exquisitely soft and sensitive. Hide them only if you have a compelling reason to do so (such as a job interview).
Lots to say regarding this subject, but I just wanted to make a quick comment: I have prominent scars on my lower arms and hands.. Hate it when people 'talk to my arms'! I always watch their gaze wander to my scars :-/
I am recovered from serious self-injury but still have multiple scars. Even in middle age I am still confronted with my past. Many scars are from long-ago surgeries due to self-injury but there are some deep scars on left arm & wrist. I spent 8 hours in emergency department recently for vision loss in left eye. There I was, completely stressed, mostly blind in one eye when a young doctor began questioning me about the scars on my arm! I just dismissed his questions with "those are very old." I'm sure he knew it was from self-injury but hopefully he also understood that was "behind me." At least now the condition is "out in the open" & sufferers are not considered freakish (although there will always be people who judge or criticize). When I first began self-mutilating as a teenager, I thought I was the only one!!! I still remember being shocked during my first psychiatric hospitalization, when I saw another patient with obvious self-inflicted cuts.
Although I have fully recovered from self-injury (resulting from severe Borderline Personality Disorder) the scars are a permanent reminder of my behaviors. I actually view them as sort of a "badge of courage," proof that if I overcame all of that, I can face whatever comes next. I regret the destruction I did to my body, but I am NOT ashamed! I would never have done any of that if I had been emotionally healthy.
Champagne for my real friends & real pain for my sham friends! (teehee)
okay I have serious scars on my lower arms and hands from self injury, I had to get 48 stitches in 4 weeks. I don't try to hide them by wearing long sleeve shirts all the time. If people want to ask what their from i usually tell them their from a car accident or I tripped and fell through a sliding glass door. Just something normal like that, nothing over the top. I don't tell people the truth becasue it's none of their business.
Great Question!!! I always say, I had a crazy bird or cat. And they just look at me like, yeah right... (that is how i feel anyway) But, the last time i cut, will be very hard to explain and I am worried because i am about to start job hunting again. Hopefully, i will get a job at one of the mental hosp. in my area with my degree then, people can see i can really relate to them and maybe i can help more people, because that is the ONLY thing that helps me, is helping others!