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Old 05-28-2002, 05:55 PM   #1
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mikesgirl HB User
Thumbs down Nosy People

Does anyone else get annoyed when someone you don't know says, "How did you do that?" I suppose in some ways I deserve it for having scars all up my arm, but is it really anyone's business to ask me that? What am I supposed to say? "Well, when I was 16 I thought it would be a great idea to hack myself up with a razor." Maybe I should try it. Maybe then they would mind their own business. Sorry, I have had this happen for 15 years...need to vent!

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Old 05-31-2002, 12:30 AM   #2
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Ashlee HB User
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Hey there, Mikesgirl.

Let me start by saying that I do know how you feel. I am a cutter also, and it really DOES get frustrating when people continually ask me where I got those ‘scratches’. But, you have to realise that the people asking you those questions are the people that care. They are worried about you. No one likes to see their friends hurt, that's why they continue to ask you those questions. If they're not friends of yours - strangers even - then you really don't have to tell them a THING. Not that you have to if they're friends... but I suppose you'll have to tell them SOMETHING. It's difficult, I know, but life wasn't meant to be easy I guess...

Take care,
Ashlee

 
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Old 06-03-2002, 05:26 PM   #3
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The problem for me is, they ARE strangers...I work at a job where I see a lot of people and they see my arms close up...I am a vet tech and I hold a lot of animals for people...anyway, I know they don't mean to be rude BUT! Well, you know. Thanks for responding...take care! K

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No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
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No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

 
Old 06-06-2002, 02:55 AM   #4
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Well, that IS pretty tough then… why not just say they’re animal scratches? Would that be believable?

I feel somewhat guilty offering advice on how to make this less obvious to people, if it means you will continue to suffer… am I right to assume that you are no longer a cutter? If you're not, well done!

Sorry I don’t really have any good advice for you… this is a tough one! Maybe someone else here will have some more ideas.

Ashlee

[This message has been edited by Ashlee (edited 06-06-2002).]

 
Old 06-07-2002, 05:53 AM   #5
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Riley HB User
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Oh yes, I've had this happen to me many times-usually from strangers, but co-workers have asked, too. I'm a former cutter (in recovery) so I completely understand. I can't wear shorts in the summer, so I'm spared the stares, but I do have some SI marks on my arms and wrist. I have used every excuse in the book. From the excuse of cat scratches to baking mistakes (burns) to rafting mishaps (heavy duty marks). My T has encouraged me to just say, 'I'd rather not talk about it' and change the subject.

People are just nosey. And even though it's none of their business, people will always look/question things that are different or they don't understand. The trick comes in not letting their looks at your SI or remarks bother you...and that can be hard.

The scars of SI are probably painful to you, so don't let anyone else cause you more pain. You have the power to either let their remarks madden and hurt you or brush it off to their stupidity. My scars will always be there, so I'm learning to just live with them...and to be stronger than idiotic looks and remarks. No one has walked in your shoes, so they don't know what you've been through/felt to have made your scars. Mine have made me stronger become I've overcome it. You can, too!

When I'm feeling not so good about them...I listen to Garbage (the band). The lead singer, Shirley Manson, has talked openly about her SI and her lyrics are really soulful.

Good luck and believe in yourself.
Riley

 
Old 06-08-2002, 04:34 PM   #6
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mikesgirl HB User
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Thanks guys...I try not to let it bother me most of the time, but once in a while...I'd like to tell some people to shut up! Usually I just say they are cat scratches (they look nothing like them) and they leave me alone.

These are scars from cutting I did about 15 years ago. I have learned to live with them for the most part. THey are on my hand, arm and wrist, and I have a few others too, that don't show. I have not done it for some years.

I wish this board had been around when I did it though, at least maybe I could understand better...maybe now we can help someone else...Take good care! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif

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No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
__________________
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

 
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