| | I'm one messed up FOOL...
I brief intro...
I consider myself quite popular... well known, respected and feared due to my past history of connections and fights which I dominated. (don't get me wrong.. I ain't proud of any of this!)
I grew up living in Government Housing, but recently.. my family was blessed and we have moved on up. Girls are attracted to me, ect etc etc.(knock on wood)
Now heres the messed up part... I am severly depressed. I hate myself... I constantly think about ehow I'm nothing but the scum of the world adn I'm not worth the air I breath.
I constantly slice up my arms, punch my face, punch brick walls till my knucles bleed, burn myself with ciggs... and this actually makes me feel good!
Its like, when I see the blood flow out of my flesh or feel the physical... it energizes me???? Makes me feel akwardly stronger...????
My friends & GF see my slices and just ask me why? Some say I must have some up issues... and I guess they must be right!
Somebody please help me! I turn to physical pain to rid myself of emotional pain!
Please tell me... am I psyhotic? Crazy? a Lunatic? shold I commit myself to a mental hospital?
Someone please help me... thanx
[This message has been edited by minerva (edited 12-01-2002).]