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Old 06-06-2011, 01:33 AM   #1
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bobbysox HB User
Smile Scars

I have heaps of scars, but the most noticeable one I have is over my carotid artery on my neck. I tried killing myself about two years ago by overdosing but I woke up and became very desperate so slashed at my neck with a very sharp razor. It bled alot but didn't sever the artery. Now I am left with three slash scars that look like a big cat has had a go at my neck. I worked with it exposed for a year and a half after the incident. People would ask me about it but I would always tell them it was an accident. But now I am just sick and tired of people staring at at so I cover it with my long hair or a scarf.

Does anyone else have some serious scars that were made from impulse or attempts? I am very interested and I guess looking for some affinity. Thanks and hope to hear from you.

p.s. also want to know how it makes you feel and if you make up a story about them and also if there are certain people you show and don't show. My brother still hasn;t seen them, also my partner's parents but my nephew has aswell as my mum.

 
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Old 06-06-2011, 12:12 PM   #2
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: Scars

Hi, i'm Kat welcome to the Boards. I've been cutting since I was 13, I'm now 43....lots of scars, arms are really bad. The worst I actually did in my sleep, during a "amnesiac dream state" i was dreaming the man who had sexually molested me as a child was attacking me, but in reality I was slashing my arms with a knife that I kept on my nightstand. I was asleep, woke up with large gashes and lots of blood, husband totally freaked out...it was during the day I had been napping. Went to urgent care got 47 stitches, called it a day and went home. I always tell people my arms went through glass door when I tripped and fell...and they believe it. I actually have a scar on my left topside of my wrist that is a perfectly carved cross on a lil hill, of course I put it there, but people are like, "isn't that neat how that looks like a perfect lil cross" duh! So, yes you can make up a story and they tend to believe it, and you have the op for a great one. I think it tends to come from the fact that nobody want's to believe that someone could actually do that to themselves....but, they don't know the pain and suffering we live with do they?

Hope you'll hang around, there are great folks here who can give you a ton of support when you need it.

As for who I've told/showed....MIL/Best Friend/Ex-hubby/Son/Pdoc/Tdoc....they know what my scars really are.

 
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Old 06-06-2011, 10:51 PM   #3
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bobbysox HB User
Re: Scars

Hey,
thanks for replying. I will stay around. Have a great day.

 
Old 06-08-2011, 06:06 PM   #4
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Shells611 HB UserShells611 HB User
Re: Scars

Quote:
Originally Posted by bobbysox View Post
I have heaps of scars, but the most noticeable one I have is over my carotid artery on my neck. I tried killing myself about two years ago by overdosing but I woke up and became very desperate so slashed at my neck with a very sharp razor. It bled alot but didn't sever the artery. Now I am left with three slash scars that look like a big cat has had a go at my neck. I worked with it exposed for a year and a half after the incident. People would ask me about it but I would always tell them it was an accident. But now I am just sick and tired of people staring at at so I cover it with my long hair or a scarf.

Does anyone else have some serious scars that were made from impulse or attempts? I am very interested and I guess looking for some affinity. Thanks and hope to hear from you.

p.s. also want to know how it makes you feel and if you make up a story about them and also if there are certain people you show and don't show. My brother still hasn;t seen them, also my partner's parents but my nephew has aswell as my mum.
I started cutting 3 years ago when I was 12. So I have scars, one time maybe a few months ago I got really upset, And I had all up and down my forearm, But the people who love you and know what you do, will understand. Mine did. You need to not be ashamed of what you do, its how all of us cope. When people stare and ask and I make up stories I do feel bad, but its not like I can go around telling everyone, most people would not understand. I feel like when it comes to the scars I have to lie its like a reflex.

 
Old 06-08-2011, 08:41 PM   #5
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: Scars

Yeah if we told everyone what they really were from we'd have many people thinking we're crazy and needed to be committed...but we're not crazy. We just learned how to handle pain/fear/emotions in a disfunctional way....and nobody but someone else who self harms can understand how hard it is to stop.

I don't feel bad when i tell people that ask stories, I guess I feel like if they're going to be so blatantly nosy and ask about something that is none of their business they deserve whatever i decide to tell them.

The "real" people in my life, the ones who know what the scars really are, never even give them a second glance, they just accept them as part of me. I will say though explaining it to my 12 yr old after his father's GF outed me, damned near killed me, and it was one of the hardest things i've ever had to do.

kat

kat

 
Old 06-16-2011, 09:56 PM   #6
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Re: Scars

I have a lot of scars and for the most part when people ask, which is pretty rare as it seems to be pretty obvious what caused the marks, I usually say that it was from a long time ago and I do not want to remember what happened. That tends to end that discussion pretty quickly.

I have a seven year old son and he is starting to ask questions and I tend to say they are from a long time ago. When he gets older I will try and explain it to him
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Old 06-16-2011, 10:02 PM   #7
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katlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB Userkatlin09 HB User
Re: Scars

Yeah if you can put off the discussion with your son until he's at least 11 or 12, he really won't understand what your trying to tell him, and he may get confused and think that this is the way to handle bad things and start doing it himself....that would be bad. So you have to be careful about telling them, unless they're old enough and ready to hear it.

kat

 
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