so, i have been doing really well with not cutting or burning lately. ive only had thoughts to do it, but have been able to fight it. Well, i was out of town for a week and just got home today. Right away my mom started acting really distant from me and i felt it really strong so i asked if i could talk to her about it. she took her time in getting to a spot where we could talk privately only to tell me that she thinks i need to leave. either i go away on a mission trip or just move. granted, i am an adult. but, i have no one else. im adopted, have no friends to talk to and am not equipped to do anything because of my psych disability. i dont know what im going to do. i feel like hurting myself SO badly right now.. i just want to give up.. i feel so broken.
I was paying rent, and helping with shopping and running errands, setting up appointments, i did a lot. I severed friendships because my mom was against them. I had no one else to talk to but her and my siblings. I gave up everything to be obedient to my mom, only to have her tell me to leave. I ended up moving out this week. I am staying with a cousin for a while until i can get my own place and it hasn't been easy. I have no one to help me other than my cousin now. I have no friends still and I have nothing that can help me restart my life. It has been really difficult but I have no choice so I have to make it work. I can't see my psychiatrist until sept. and i need medicine, im so anxious and cant stop thinking about hurting myself. I sometimes think im just waiting to die now.. its so hard. i dont know if thats enough info for you, but its what i have for now.
so, i have been doing really well with not cutting or burning lately. ive only had thoughts to do it, but have been able to fight it. Well, i was out of town for a week and just got home today. Right away my mom started acting really distant from me and i felt it really strong so i asked if i could talk to her about it. she took her time in getting to a spot where we could talk privately only to tell me that she thinks i need to leave. either i go away on a mission trip or just move. granted, i am an adult. but, i have no one else. im adopted, have no friends to talk to and am not equipped to do anything because of my psych disability. i dont know what im going to do. i feel like hurting myself SO badly right now.. i just want to give up.. i feel so broken.
I know things seem really bad right now, but they will get better. and hurting yourself now may seem like the answer and the way to deal with it, but it wont solve anything it will only make matters worse, If you ever need to talk Im here. I hope things get better.
-Shelby.
The Following User Says Thank You to Shells611 For This Useful Post: bloodytears (08-03-2011)
Hey girl, wanted to check in and see how you are doing? Did you go to the ER, as was suggested so you could get your meds? If not, it's really a good idea to do that. Being off your meds for over a month wont' do anyone any good. Medication stability is very important, but you know that, your a smart girl.
Sweetie you always have a way to restart your life.....You are the reason and way to restart your life. What your mom did was cruel and hurtful and knocked you down....but it's time to get back up. Are you and your cousin getting along okay? If so and your living situation is more stable, then you need to find something else to focus on. Volunteering to help is a great idea. At a shelter, clinic, nursing home, animal shelter.... helping someone else can make your own life seem so worth it, it gives you a sense of great accomplishment. I used to love to volunteer at the nursing home. There were older folks who had lost their sight or their sight was just getting too bad to be able to read, so I would go once a week and sit with them, or in a chair beside the bed and read them whatever book they wanted. These folks had loved to read on their own, but it was taken away from them....in giving that small piece back, it made their life and days seem better, brighter, and in return it helped me feel like I had a purpose, a reason for being in this world....it made it easier not to constantly think about all the things that were wrong with me and my life, just by taking a lil time out of my day and making someone else happy.
Think about it, there are always opportunities for volunteering in any town.
I hope your doing okay and have gotten somewhat settled. Anytime you need or want to talk, just let me know and I'm here, okay?
Hey, thanks for checking on me. I didn't go to the ER but my therapist did refer me to a clinic which i was able to go and get prescriptions. So, being on meds again does make me feel a little more capable of getting through all this. Right now my therapist is seeing me twice a week until im out of this crisis, so that is also helping. Other than that, im still trying to fight the urges to hurt myself and give up.
Hey, thanks for checking on me. I didn't go to the ER but my therapist did refer me to a clinic which i was able to go and get prescriptions. So, being on meds again does make me feel a little more capable of getting through all this. Right now my therapist is seeing me twice a week until im out of this crisis, so that is also helping. Other than that, im still trying to fight the urges to hurt myself and give up.
Now that's a therapist that's worth their weight in gold.
Keep fighting and know that we will never give up on you.
You're way too valuable and i place a huge value on all that come to this board.
Kat & Phoenix, thank you both so much for all the support and encouragement. It has helped me incredibly My family has never really understood me and the way i am, therefore, they never really were able to support me or love me the way i needed. It makes going through things so much easier when you know you have people you can talk to and trust, even if it is through a the health boards.
Kat & Phoenix, thank you both so much for all the support and encouragement. It has helped me incredibly My family has never really understood me and the way i am, therefore, they never really were able to support me or love me the way i needed. It makes going through things so much easier when you know you have people you can talk to and trust, even if it is through a the health boards.
Well your stuck with us, we don't go away! We'll always be here when you need us. And better than family we don't come with all the built in drama and bickering *LOL*
in shock... 
My family has never really understood me and the way i am, therefore, they never really were able to support me or love me the way i needed. It makes going through things so much easier when you know you have people you can talk to and trust, even if it is through a the health boards.
