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Old 09-16-2011, 08:25 PM   #1
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its getting so hard not to..

I have been going through so much the past few months and ive managed to do a minimal amount of self harm just to help me cope but it seems like im never going to be to the point i need to be and everything keeps stacking on top of other things. I'm trying so hard but it really feels like im going to slip back into my old ways which is so scary. I have no one beside my counselor that I can talk to and be completely transparent with, which makes it hard because thats the only time i can be real and not have to wear a mask and be someone im not. Ive told my counselor how much I'm struggling and she was close to putting me in the hospital agaian but I just couldn't go. I know it might be the place I need to be right now.. its just not something i can do right now.. I'm so overwhelmed and can't concentrate.. i dont want to give in im just feel like i have no other options.. i dont know what im going to do.. guess i just needed to get this out..

 
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Old 09-20-2011, 12:20 PM   #2
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Re: its getting so hard not to..

Quote:
Originally Posted by bloodytears View Post
I have been going through so much the past few months
Ive told my counselor how much I'm struggling and she was close to putting me in the hospital agaian but I just couldn't go. I know it might be the place I need to be right now.. its just not something i can do right now.. I'm so overwhelmed and can't concentrate.. i dont want to give in im just feel like i have no other options.. i dont know what im going to do.. guess i just needed to get this out..
I strongly suggest that you adhere to your therapist's advice and reconsider hospitalization.

It's times like this,when you are in crisis,that that you should take advantage of what is offered.

You see,i could give you all the advice,support and insightful opinions but it won't be enough.

Please do what you need to;for you.

Respectfully
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Last edited by Phoenix; 09-21-2011 at 01:42 AM.

 
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Old 09-20-2011, 10:24 PM   #3
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Re: its getting so hard not to..

Hi Bloodytears, I am sorry how you are ffeling and not coping well. Self injury is an escape. I am a cutter and when it happens, its like I am not there and I do it. It is never planned, it just happens. You should go to the hospital and be released in a few day. There they will help you get though your hard time. Please seek help before you end up looking like me. Take care

 
Old 09-21-2011, 03:24 PM   #4
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Re: its getting so hard not to..

So, i eneded up going to the hospital. Just got home. I changed my medications and im seeing a new psychiatrist. I have a lot of support from my counselor still, but no one else. I'm going to look into joining a couple groups i think. If i find any online. I feel a little better, but some moments i still really feel like hurting myself because i get so frustrated with life. Anway, thanks for taking the time to read and respond to my post.

 
Old 09-26-2011, 10:48 PM   #5
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Re: its getting so hard not to..

Hi,

If you can find a DBT (Dialectical Behavior Training) group in or near your town, this is the type of therapy that is used to contain and recover from self harm. These are usually 6mo to a year long program. You will learn new ways of coping with all the emotions that are trapped inside that lead you to cut. You will learn new coping techniques and tools to use instead of cutting.

I wish you well,

Kat

 
Old 09-27-2011, 12:02 AM   #6
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Re: its getting so hard not to..

I hope your doing better. You are in my prayers.

 
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Old 09-27-2011, 12:26 PM   #7
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Re: its getting so hard not to..

I actually have done DBT a few times. When the hospital I used to go to first started teaching it, it was ongoing and I was in it for like two years before I moved away. It did help me some, but because of the amount of distress I was under, it didn't stick. I have been looking into going back to DBT but it isn't offered around me. I would have to go back to the same hospital I attended before and that is five hours away.. So, thats not going to happen..

I have been doing a little better.. somedays are better than others. I have only given in a few times so far. And only when the urges are incredibly strong. I started a new medication and its kind of numbing me out so i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing yet.. only time will tell i suppose. Thanks for caring.

 
Old 09-27-2011, 05:52 PM   #8
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Re: its getting so hard not to..

Do you see a pdoc and a tdoc for meds and therapy or just a pdoc? Lithium is good for helping to keep the self harm thoughts at bay.

And if it gets too bad and you can't get it under control, ECT is very beneficial also.

Glad your a bit better today, just hang in there.

kat

 
Old 09-27-2011, 08:42 PM   #9
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Re: its getting so hard not to..

i do see both. I am currently seeing both doctors once a week.. ive heard about ECT but im really trying to get better without having to go through that. I was on lithium a long time ago and it did help some, but i haven't mentioned it to my pdoc yet just because ive been going through so many transitions lately. So, i might eventually bring up that med.

 
Old 09-27-2011, 09:35 PM   #10
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Re: its getting so hard not to..

Yeah, something like ECT would be like the last resort treatment, after everything else didn't work. Seriously think about the Lithium....it did wonders for me, I was able to go from cutting several times a day, everyday to maybe a total of 30 times since Dec. 2009. Not a perfect score, but a helluva lot better than what I was.

Hang in there okay, and anytime you need to talk just give a yell.

kat

 
Old 09-27-2011, 10:19 PM   #11
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Re: its getting so hard not to..

Lithium is my wonder drug for me. I believe it helps my urges for drinking and cutting. I do not cut like I use to but it does happen. But do you need a bi-polar label to get it?

 
Old 09-27-2011, 11:56 PM   #12
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Re: its getting so hard not to..

NO, any pdoc worth the paper his diploma is printed on knows that Lithium is used widely these days for controlling self harm urges. If you go to a pdoc and he says you have to have BP to get it....find a new doc. Because it does work very well for many people. I know it saved my life....

kat

 
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