i just hate how when everything is going good, something has to come and slam me out of nowhere.. im heartbroken.. can't sleep.. don't know what to do with myself.. i want to run away but dont know where.. hurting myself seems like a great option right now, eventhough i know it shouldn't. I just don't know anymore. My heart literally is aching and i feel so confused. I don't know why there has to be so much drama in my life when i try so hard to just let things be.The holidays are always the hardest for me and im usually in the hospital by now but things were going better this year.. until now. im filled with so many emotions all at once and i feel like im going to fall apart at any minute.. guess im just incredibly broken at this time..
The following user gives a hug of support to bloodytears: flamesabers (12-23-2011)
I can relate to the feeling of not knowing what to do with myself. During time like that I feel I should unload everything that's wrong with my life and myself to someone I can trust, but that very rarely if ever happens. I usually don't like expressing my weaknesses but at times I feel I could really benefit from some emotional consoling.
The Following User Says Thank You to flamesabers For This Useful Post: bloodytears (12-26-2011)
Thanks for checking in on me. I've been struggling still quite a bit and on top of all i had already been going through, now im going through a breakup, which makes things even more stressful and overwhelming. But none-the-less, ive managed to stay out of the hospital so thats a good start to the new year i suppose.
In any case, thanks again for checking on me. Hope you're doing well.
I'm doing okay I guess. It seems like my moods have been fluctuating from good to bad and I've been feeling anxious about my job searching. I'm contemplating on reducing my Zoloft dosage in hopes that I'll feel less tired throughout the day.
I'm sorry to hear things continue to take a worse turn for you, but as you said, at least you've managed to stay out of the hospital. Are you continuing to see your therapist? If so I hope she's able to help you get through this difficult time.
Sorry your moods are so up and down.. Job searching can be quite anxiety provoking.. I hope something comes around for you soon though.
I am still seeing my therapist except right now i have to wait a while in between visits due to her schedule being overbooked. I haven't seen her since november but i have had phone conferences with her. I think i need to change my medications as well.. I see my psychiatrist this week so hopefully she can help me figure out a better combination.
Sorry your having such a tough go of it...job hunting can be a tough one on the psychy....it's hard to handle all the competition and what we view as rejection. Hang in there bud, it gets better...there are people here for you, who know what your going through.
kat
The Following User Says Thank You to katlin09 For This Useful Post: flamesabers (01-12-2012)
When I talked to my therapist he said he observed the same thing when he was working was young adults who were searching for employment. It's not just the competition/potential rejection that's on my mind, but also the absence of productivity in my life. Now that I'm finished with school I feel so unproductive and useless.
I'm financially secure so that's one less thing on my mind, but I just don't like how there's so many factors that are beyond my control when it comes to getting a job.
Find something to get yourself busy until you get a job, since money is not an issue...volunteer somewhere...the goal is just to feel "useless". Trust me there are places in any town that can use volunteers and they can keep you busy! Journal, get those feelings out, and down on paper...if they're really bad, wad 'em up, put a match to 'em and watch them go up in flames....it can be rather cathartic watching the bad stuff in you go up in flames......
Help friends or family, clean out the attic or the garage...whatever...just get busy and get moving....no stagnating.
I've been keeping myself busy for the most part...doing housecleaning and working on my taxes. I've been wondering whether it's my emotions that affect my energy levels or whether it's my energy levels that affect my emotions. If I feel more energetic I also feel better and more interested in getting stuff done (and not worry about the job search so much) whether when I feel tired or hopeless I just want to stay in bed.
Your emotions will definitely affect your energy levels....depression can sap your energy faster than leaving your car lights on all night will sap the battery. Try to surround yourself with things/people that keep you positive. It's really good that your staying busy...idleness is not good...
What about the volunteer aspect, are you good with helping out other people?
Flamesabers!!!!!! That is so freakin awesome!!! Look at you! Animals are great, all they want is unconditional love.....dude!! go love some animals and get you some happy!!!!
You've got this, 1 day at a time...and remember if that's too much...then we do it 1 moment at a time...
I've been working solely with cats. If I keep up with the volunteer work for six months I'll also be able to help out with the dogs. One of the employees said just being around the kittens helps to brighten her day.
The following user gives a hug of support to flamesabers: tearsnfears (01-19-2012)
It is amazing what animals can do for you if you let them. My two cats always seem to know when I am at my worst and they curl up around me in bed, sit in my lap or the top of my recliner. I don't always want their affection and will push them away sometimes but when I don't they do help.
Hey that is great that you volunteered again today, yay!!!! But don't rush into the adoption thing too soon....remember pets need 24/7 around the clock care, they don't care whether we're depressed or having a bad cutting day....they have to be loved and taken care of...so just think about it okay. I'm not trying to rain on your parade or anything, okay? It's just a big commitment....just a lot to make sure you've thought it through, you know.
But keep on volunteering, you can see those kitties there all you want and give them love and get love in return....lots and lots of love!
I'm not planning on rushing into adopting a cat as I know it wouldn't be practical with my current schedule. I was just surprised by how quickly I'm starting to get attached to these cats.
im filled with so many emotions all at once and i feel like im going to fall apart at any minute.. guess im just incredibly broken at this time..
