New years day my mom grabbed my arm and said I thought you said they would go away and my heart sank. They would be if I wasn't still doing it but I couldn't tell her that. I live at the shore, in the land of bikinis on the beach and immediate judgement based on looks but I can't do any of that. I have huge keloid scars from using several razors held together. Doesn't help that I'm crazy too. As long as I cut im okay but when I don't I go nuts. I need to stop for my mom and for my nursing career, but I couldn't imagine my life without cutting.
The following user gives a hug of support to Allyse89: flamesabers (01-04-2012)
I don't think you're crazy. It sounds like you're struggling to overcome the habit of hurting yourself as a means of coping with the stressors in your life. Have you tried therapy for learning how to cope with overwhelming feelings and situations in a more healthy manner?
I think it's good you recognize some reasons to stop cutting. I think another reason to stop is for yourself. I think you'll feel better and be healthier for the long-term when you stop cutting.
I went to therapy in high school and was very active in most of the counseling programs but I secretly cut all throughout. I really don't want to stop but I kinda feel like I have to. It's a love hate relationship lol. Everybody thinks I've been okay for years and as my mom says "grew out of it" but I've just been able to do it less but in return suffer more and more physical anxiety. I just don't know where to go from here.
One thing that your going to have to come to terms with you can't want to stop cutting for your mom or anyone else. it won't happen....the only person that you can stop cutting for is you! Your the one that is compensating for something by cutting, your the one that is picking up a blade and slicing your skin, your the one that is choosing to do it.....this has nothing to do with your mom and all of her guilt and anger and embarrasment in the world is not going to be enough to make you stop cutting....it will make you cut more...
If your going to get help, it is all about you and not about anyone else.