I've not been on here in so long. I missed you guys. Anyways...
So up until a couple days ago, I went a little over three months without cutting. That is huge for me since most of the time, I do good to go a week. It wouldn't be as bad if I just slipped a time or two. But considering it was way more than that, it just seems like I accomplished nothing because I gave in.
It's almost like I am used to cutting off and on, and it usually doesn't bother me like this if I have times where I take a few steps back. But this time, I can't get passed it. I feel stupid for saying this, but the more I think about the slip up, the more I cut. It's like pouring salt into a wound, and even though it hurts like hell, you pour more salt. That's the way it seems to me anyway.
Hey chels, nice to see you again, wish it was under different circumstances.
3 months is a awesome achievement, don't knock yourself! The cutting more from the slip up....I think it's kind of a self induced punishment. Alot of us that do this are pretty good at being pretty hard on ourselves. We don't forgive ourselves for slipping up, we don't have compassion for ourselves for not being perfect, we punish ourselves by doing the thing that we're supposed to not be doing. It's a vicious cycle and unfortunately we're pretty good at spinning it!
Forgive yourself for slipping, as soon as you start thinking the negative thoughts, replace them with positive ones, "I made it 3 months without cutting" "I can live each day without cutting I've proven that" "I can handle everyday hurdles in a healthy way".
You just have to reach inside and get ahold of yourself.