Hi, this is my first ever post and I think I need some advice.
I used to cut as a teenager and I stopped when I was 16 (I'm now 21). When I was with my ex I went through a really tough time with him, he was a really quiet, nice intelligent guy and one day he lost his temper and almost threw me down the stairs.
I split from him but we had to carry on living together because of my tenancy agreement. I found out that while we were together he was getting up when I fell asleep and watching porn on my laptop while I was sleeping (which gave my laptop viruses that deleted my uni work). When I found this out I spiralled out of control and started drinking heavily and I self-harmed again for the first time in 5 years.
Now, I'm going through a rough patch at home. Usually I use uni as my distraction because I love what I study and to me its the most important thing in my life. I find it hard because I know everyone goes on about family and friends and support but I genuinely don't have any, when I talk to them they just stress me out more. I'm on summer holiday at the moment and I'm finding that every day the urge to cut is getting stronger and stronger. I feel like I'm spiralling into depression and I just want to drink and take pills and make myself feel better.