Today seems to be one of those days where every time I turn around, I feel the need to hurt myself. I have gone downhill over the past two weeks. I've been depressed for a while but I haven't realized how bad it has actually gotten until this morning. I've taken my medication consistently for a while now. I used to be really bad about stopping them and not telling anyone. It seems that when I want to help myself for the better, it always blows up in face. When I'm already feeling down, every thing seems to intensify, especially my emotions. I'm sure it's like that with a lot of people, I just feel there is nothing I can do to make things better other then to suck it up. I keep trying to tell myself, "when nothing goes right, go left"
I think you're right about how common it is to feel like everything is intensifying when you're already feeling down. I can relate to this. I think it's a lot more difficult to cope with depression and other setbacks when you're in a lousy mood to begin with.
Sometimes the most you can do is tolerate the difficult times you have in your life. However, I think it's important to stay aware of opportunities you can pursue to make things better.
Maybe it's because I'm tired, I'm not sure. But I don't understand what you mean about staying aware of opportunities I can pursue to make things better.
Maybe I could have phrased it better, but what I mean is giving yourself credit for your achievements however small they may seem to be, and being proactive with trying to feel better instead of isolating and hurting yourself. For example, if your pdoc or therapist gives you an assignment or something to do in-between sessions, that can be an opportunity to make yourself feel better. Other opportunities could be finding hobbies or activities that help you cope with stress and depression so the urge to hurt yourself isn't as strong.
I usually try to keep busy when the urges hit. Even if it doesn't work, at least I tried. I'm awful at giving myself credit. I tend to be extremely hard on myself. I know I don't need to be, maybe if I wasn't things would be better. I don't know. It's like that song says, I'm my own worst enemy.