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Old 09-04-2012, 11:15 AM   #1
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Need some help, please.

Hi im new to all this but wanted to talk about what im doing and to see if anyone can help me. Heres my story.
I self harm. It started off with my parents divorce around 8 years ago, I was getting bullied around the same time, living situations were difficult and I felt I was to blame for everything going wrong in my life. Started scratching my arms till they bled. It made me feel better. I stopped when things became better.
I was 10 then, a few times growing up Ive done it more but over the past year its become regular and worse. I was bullied by a girl who supposdly was my best friend. Nearly ruined my life. I felt worthless. I started using razors and cutting my skin quite deep. Im scared because when im doing it I dont even feel pain, before it happens i get a horrible panicky feeling which I cant control and after I cut myself the feeling goes away and so do my worries for a short while.
My boyfriend and my mother know about what I do, it was hard telling them, its hard talking to them about it. She gets upset and he worries, im terrified if me doing this will ruin things bewteen us but hes been very supportive.
My lifes improved from what it was, i have a great family, a great relationship and have just been accepted in to university, I no longer see my bully friend

but Im still scared. I still get the same feelings. I still do it. Please help. I want to stop.

 
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Old 09-05-2012, 12:26 AM   #2
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Re: Need some help, please.

What do you mean by "you get the same feeling still"? You mean the panicky feeling you said you get before you do it? If so, that feeling is strongly associated with harming yourself so it is just routine for you now. Have you tried relieving that feeling is another way instead of self harm? Lets say you start to get that feeling, and when you do you go take a hot shower or bath to calm you until it passes. If you do that enough times and it work for you, you will break that nasty self injury habit in no time

 
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Old 09-05-2012, 09:17 AM   #3
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Re: Need some help, please.

Hello ollymet.

I suggest talking to a therapist about finding more healthy ways to cope with your unpleasant feelings. Cutting is oftentimes a coping mechanism for handling unwanted feelings.

I have to disagree with PurpleSaddle about cutting being a habit that can easily be broken. On the contrary, cutting can be a very hard habit to break because it's a quick fix for dealing with stressful emotions. I haven't cut for nearly a year. The urges aren't as intense as before, but they're still there nonetheless, especially when I'm going through a stressful time.

I think once you've experienced short-term relief from cutting or any other self-injury behavior, it can be a very challenging thing to give up in favor of more healthy coping mechanisms.

 
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Old 09-05-2012, 12:09 PM   #4
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Re: Need some help, please.

Quote:
Originally Posted by flamesabers View Post
Hello ollymet.

I suggest talking to a therapist about finding more healthy ways to cope with your unpleasant feelings. Cutting is oftentimes a coping mechanism for handling unwanted feelings.

I have to disagree with PurpleSaddle about cutting being a habit that can easily be broken. On the contrary, cutting can be a very hard habit to break because it's a quick fix for dealing with stressful emotions. I haven't cut for nearly a year. The urges aren't as intense as before, but they're still there nonetheless, especially when I'm going through a stressful time.

I think once you've experienced short-term relief from cutting or any other self-injury behavior, it can be a very challenging thing to give up in favor of more healthy coping mechanisms.
In her situation now I think it can easily be broke. The OP stated that her life has basically turned around from what made her cut in the first place. Without those stressors, if she WANTS to stop, it can be easily broken. I was in the same situation a year ago. I moved across the country straight out of state hospital, to remove myself of the environment that was causing and reminding me to cut and found it heaps easier to quit cutting once all my stressors were removed. Cutting is NOT easy to overcome that is if the reasons why you cut still linger.

 
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Old 09-10-2012, 04:21 AM   #5
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Re: Need some help, please.

Self-harm never just goes away. It is an addiction just like smoking, drugs, alcohol. People who think it can be 'cured' overnight don't understand.

Harming yourself releases chemicals in your body that can addict you to it. The best thing you can do (in my opinion) is try to work out what your 'triggers' are. What makes you want to or even just think about hurting yourself? If you can work out that, you can start to put plans in your head to stop yourself. It can be anything- you can have a certain person call, a support buddy you email, you can try exercising, or even a piece of cake! The longer you can refrain from self-harming, the weaker the chemical conditioning will get. It may still be there, but it will be easier to resist.

I'm not answering this to tell you I have all the answers, but I have had some pretty bad issues with self-harm and still struggle but this is what works for me. Try reading the book "Bright red scream" you might find it interesting.

Hope this helps!

 
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Old 09-25-2012, 02:17 AM   #6
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Re: Need some help, please.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ollymet View Post
Im scared because when im doing it I dont even feel pain, before it happens i get a horrible panicky feeling which I cant control and after I cut myself the feeling goes away and so do my worries for a short while.
My boyfriend and my mother know about what I do, it was hard telling them, its hard talking to them about it. She gets upset and he worries, im terrified if me doing this will ruin things bewteen us but hes been very supportive.
My lifes improved from what it was, i have a great family, a great relationship and have just been accepted in to university, I no longer see my bully friend

but Im still scared. I still get the same feelings. I still do it. Please help. I want to stop.
Ollymet,

I can relate to your plight for so many reasons.
Once the brain realizes self-harm as a quick-fix,so to speak,it's rather difficult to release ones self from the mindset.
Don't fret though,for there is the possibility of breaking the habitual behavior.
Have you ever considered therapy?

I hear you when you speak of it being difficult to express things to those you are closest to.What i'm asking of you(only if you are up to it) is consider the possibility.

Congrats on being accepted into university.Please try to view it as a stepping stone towards better things to come. They chose you because they see potential in you.

It can be rather difficult to actually see what is going on,when swimming in a proverbial sea of despair.

Please know that you're not alone.
You can rely on us for advice and support in a non-judgemental atmosphere.

When in doubt,post it out.
You deserve to be happy. Let's all work together,in the hopes that we can make it happen.

Sincere Respect

Phoenix
__________________
When in doubt, post it out.

Last edited by Phoenix; 09-25-2012 at 02:19 AM. Reason: spelling error

 
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