I dont know why im like this
Hi i am not sure why i am like this but heres the history of some things that happened. 3 years ago my grandmother who i thought loved me threw me and my father out of the house,year later she died found out i was left out of it completely.Also my mother died when i was 8 months old.Now a year ago i met a girl that was my first relationship which ended up failing because of relationship ocd and thats when i started cutting. i also met another girl who ended up ignoring me and never got told why. Back a few days i started getting happy girl messaged me we start talking a lot thought she really liked me, so we hanged out and now find out she doesn't like me because shes not getting a feeling, I am now feeling extremely depressed which i cant stop the feeling and i feel pathetic for this. I have now started to burn myself with a lighter its the only thing that relieves it a little, along with punching myself in the head, and getting the urge to cut also.I also think i have bipolar a therapist i saw a year ago pretty much said i have bipolar not sure if that could have a effect. writing this whole thing has made me feel pathetic but not sure what to do cant stop my mind.