Re: Getting worst
I can relate to a lot of what you wrote in your post, especially the part about only seeking help when things get real bad. Even though you may not consider yourself a good writer, you sound very self-aware and candid about your motives and reasons for cutting.
If you're not already, I suggest finding a therapist you can trust and talk to him/her about developing healthier coping mechanisms to help get through the crazy and difficult times. I know it can be hard to talk to a therapist, let alone about a very private and secretive habit like cutting. During some of my worse bouts with depression I've found talking to my therapist and getting another's perspective on my life can really make a big difference, even if it may not seem like it at the time. Over time I've realized the more I'm able to control my depression and stress levels, the less intense and frequent the urge to cut comes about.