Re: Hitting myself...
First, let me say that you are a beautiful person.
I do similar things too. Once, my daughter saw me hit myself with my brush, so she hid my brush. I lied to my husband about why she hid it, and luckily, my then five year old went with it. But, I knew at that moment, I needed help. It was a long, long trial and error path, but I did feel better just talking about my actions and my feelings.
Here are hugs to you. I hope you feel better just getting it off your chest.