It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Self-injury Recovery Message Board
Post New Thread   Reply Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-01-2013, 03:14 AM   #1
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: kansas city, mo usa
Posts: 271
tearsnfears HB Usertearsnfears HB Usertearsnfears HB Usertearsnfears HB Usertearsnfears HB Usertearsnfears HB User
Unhappy I want to cut this time

Because I hurt so badly but worse that pain and humiliation is about to be made public. Because I know most people see me as this ice queen person because I bury my emotions publicly on almost everything I want to cut in part this time so that maybe someone will accidentally see the cuts and recognize the emotions that I may be feeling in this situation. I am scared but I don't know how to ask for help or support ad I feel like cutting would be a way of silently asking for that help. Crazy I know..

 
Reply With Quote
The following user gives a hug of support to tearsnfears:
flamesabers (04-01-2013)
Old 04-01-2013, 05:32 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
flamesabers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Rochester, MN
Posts: 794
flamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB Userflamesabers HB User
Re: I want to cut this time

Hello tearsnfears

Quote:
Originally Posted by tearsnfears View Post
I am scared but I don't know how to ask for help or support ad I feel like cutting would be a way of silently asking for that help. Crazy I know..
I don't think this sounds crazy. In fact, it's practically a word for word description for what's always been a motive for me to cut. Despite how much I wanted something like that to happen, it never has. I started therapy and medication because I asked for help, not because someone made me or because someone understood my silent plea for help. Yes, peers and doctors have noticed my scars, but it seemed like they always commented or inquired about them in a offhand or interrogative tone. I was too embarrassed to tell them the truth. Furthermore, I didn't feel like I could trust them and I worried they would treat me like I'm some kind of freak instead of someone who is in desperate need for help. Unfortunately, not everyone is familiar with self-injury, let alone the real reasons for why it's a coping mechanism.

My therapist is someone who understands why I cut, but he wasn't aware until I told him. It took a year before I was able to force myself to tell him. I don't think he would have ever known if I didn't tell him.

 
Reply With Quote
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 04-03-2013, 06:10 PM   #3
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: kansas city, mo usa
Posts: 271
tearsnfears HB Usertearsnfears HB Usertearsnfears HB Usertearsnfears HB Usertearsnfears HB Usertearsnfears HB User
Re: I want to cut this time

I have such a difficult time asking for help, I know I should call my therapist but all I seem to be able to do is curl up in a ball. My next appointment isn't for 10 days and I am still on all my meds. I have been dealing with some pretty nasty personal stuff the past few weeks and I just don't know if I can do this alone this time. There are days I just wish I could come home and have some to hold me but I know that is a pipe dream.

 
Reply With Quote
Reply Reply




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



katlin09 (20), flamesabers (10), ghelpmelivelife (3), Phoenix (3), bloodytears (2), nomeatforme63 (2), tearsnfears (2), MaddieLovesNPH (2), greenstarz (1), forgetyou (1)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (856), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (670), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:54 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!