Husband decided to not have sex but...
 

I guess many seniors choose to not have sex, but why do that if you just replace it with masturbation? Makes me feel cheated,and really - cheated on.
Anyone in this position, and if so, how does a woman handle the rejection? It's not just the 'act' but the intimacy, affection, etc that goes along with it. How do you keep from letting it rob you of your identity, after so many years of being a "wife", now just a room mate.

Re: Husband decided to not have sex but...
 

[QUOTE=lexi4;4882361]I guess many seniors choose to not have sex, but why do that if you just replace it with masturbation? Makes me feel cheated,and really - cheated on.
Anyone in this position, and if so, how does a woman handle the rejection? It's not just the 'act' but the intimacy, affection, etc that goes along with it. How do you keep from letting it rob you of your identity, after so many years of being a "wife", now just a room mate.[/QUOTE]

I have just started a thread about my own problem which is similar
I obviously can't answer your question " how to handle rejection " as I am in the same boat so to speak ... so sorry .
I know my situ is not going to improve but I do hope your does
I am just really saying there are others in the same boat so to speak if that helps . best wishes .

Re: Husband decided to not have sex but...
 

I, too, am older...I have found that men can get out of the habit of having sex far easier than we women...I truly believe that many are satisfied that way....Our problem is keeping them alive...I found that as my husband aged that I took over as the leader of the pack...I made the overtures...Started in some sexual ways and it worked...Now that I have him back on track he knows that after sex that he feels better and has made us much closer....

Have either of you asked your partner to stimulate you?...By this I mean do the foreplay or masturbate you?....This could be the beginning of a rebirth to your sex life....Take care...ILD..

Re: Husband decided to not have sex but...
 

[QUOTE=Ilovedollhouses;5031065]I, too, am older...I have found that men can get out of the habit of having sex far easier than we women...I truly believe that many are satisfied that way....Our problem is keeping them alive...I found that as my husband aged that I took over as the leader of the pack...I made the overtures...Started in some sexual ways and it worked...Now that I have him back on track he knows that after sex that he feels better and has made us much closer....

Have either of you asked your partner to stimulate you?...By this I mean do the foreplay or masturbate you?....This could be the beginning of a rebirth to your sex life....Take care...ILD..[/QUOTE]

Hi and thanks for your post ILD
I'm afraid I've tried everything but there is no interest at all ..
I have asked for oral too and no interest - so never had oral either
I think you are right about the Majority of Men as they get older ..they kinda will probably talk about it (if they see a younger woman )with their mates/collegues but don't actually perform any more in their personal lives .

Its not going to happen I'm afraid sadly I have to semi satisfy myself with toys ..but its just not fullfilling me at all ..I need the whole hog so to speak
Many Thanks ILD

Re: Husband decided to not have sex but...
 

Hi again: Have you tried awakening him giving him oral sex?....Just some teasing...A little at a time...A man needs to feel confident in himself...Think he is a stud...He deals with his own inner thoughts and they are of a man that cannot be potent....The only thing is that he can....However, he must believe in himself...Good luck and I will keep an eye on this thread...Take care....ILD....

Re: Husband decided to not have sex but...
 

Even though this thread seems a little stale-dated, I am going to give something to think about from a male point of view. I am a "junior senior" and, over the past couple of years, for 1 reason or another, have lost all interest in sex. I have a pretty, nearly 2 decade younger wife; I have always been, at least in my mind, fairly above normal sex drive. I am, although 66 yrs old, still athletic, fairly good looking and 'masculine' looking. When you women think that perhaps your man has lost interest in you, it is quite likely he has lost interest in all women. It is a tough self-realization to admit and often it is understandable for the man to admit that he is no longer interested in you as a sexual object, than to admit he has become something akin to a eunoch. So don't take it personally! And, remember, it is much more difficult to thread the needle (the male) than to hold the needle steady (the female). If you get my drift. So, again, please don't question his love for you, but honour that commitment that you gave to him (read: each other) so many years ago!;)

Re: Husband decided to not have sex but...
 

IMO, if a man decides that his sexual days are over then he should still consider the woman he partnered or married and fill her needs....I agree that the male and female sexual desire life is and can be as different as night and day as well as know that a man can and must be kept stimulated to enjoy this treasured time in life...Just as an aging woman needs to keep herself stimulated or she will dry up, a man must do the same...

I feel that if a man decides that he is done sexually that he owes it to his partner to stimulate her and bring her to orgasm...Who knows this happening could help him along the way....Take care...ILD....