Boyfriend in denial about erectile dysfunction - help!
My boyfriend of 15 years is in denial about his diabetes related ED. He's constantly in a rage, and in fact, spent months blaming me for causing his diabetes, then when his ED started about 8 months later, he blamed ME for causing that also, snarling out very vicious things for almost 6 months, and while he now acknowledges that I didn't cause the diabetes, it appears from his actions that he still subconciously is blaming me for his sexual problems. He literally roared at me that "it gets hard!" and doesn't seem to understand that it can happen from time to time, and he can still be suffering from ED. He has had only a minimal conversation with his doctors (maybe one sentence?) and absolutely refuses to consider trying viagra. This happened almost 8 years ago, and he hasn't touched me (or even french kissed me!) since. I have stayed, assured him I loved him, been faithful, approached him to give him blow jobs, and made sure he knew that I only wanted to give him some pleasure. But, he's still enraged with me most of the time - and blames me for ALL the problems we've ever had in our relationship. With the way he reacts, you'd think that I cheated on him, embezzeled all his money, AND shot his dog! His rage has gotten to the point that last year he physically attacked me twice - once hitting and shoving me, and once slamming me into a door and choking me. Now, he tells me he has no interest in me because I "****** him off" - 7 years ago! He's still has sexual interest, as I've caught him jerking off to online porn. He's kept me at an emotional, physical and sexual distance all these years. This constant rage is flooding his body with chemicals and hormones, and after a flare, he physically feels terrible. From what I've discussed with the doctors, he's working himself towards a heart attack.
I still love him, but I just don't know what I can do/how to approach him. At the very least, even if it turns out that I can no long live in the hostile environment he's created, I certainly don't want him to potentially endanger his health/life!
Help!!! Any suggestions?