"Is it out of the ordinary"? From my experience, yes.
So if a man does ask, consider yourself lucky. Of course, if he doesn't, and still get's it right, consider yourself EXTREMEly lucky
In a perfect world, we'd all instinctively know exactly what we have to do to please our new partners, til then, we'll have to rely on actually asking and telling. I think if a man's willing to ask, he's willing to please, so good for him.
I dont know if it's unusual but I think a woman would be pleased if her lover was concerned enough about pleasuring her in a way that she really enjoyed regardless of whether it was the first time they were having sex or sometime later in the relationship.