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Old 11-11-2003, 09:42 PM   #1
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Savestheday7432 HB User
I need your help

hi this is my first post and probally my last here but anyway i need your help because im so scared and thinking about puting an end to my relationship with my girlfriend and this is why......about a week ago me and her had sex it was my first time and her first time also everything went smooth but i put the condom on like 15 minutes on before we had sex and it wasnt hard and it kept going on and off was that the smart thing to do? is to put that condom on for that long when its not hard? and then after we have sex i was like dude what happens if she gets pregnet and now a week later shes late for her period and i dont know if shes pregnet or not...im thinking her period is late because she had sex for the first time....and then today my condom broke inside her but thats ok because i didnt ejaculate in her....im sorry if this didnt make sense but im so scared and i need help

 
Old 11-11-2003, 09:45 PM   #2
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oh and if a condom breaks and you know right away and you didnt ejaculate into her is their any chance of pregnecy?...because im thinking of pre ***.......but the condom kills that stuff right?

 
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Old 11-11-2003, 10:09 PM   #3
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You shouldn't put the condom on until you are aroused and ready. No, the condom will not necessarily kill the small traces of sperm released before ejaculation. Condoms aren't 100% effective even when used right, much less if they fail.

That aside, I think breaking up with her is about as low as you could go right now. You're going to de-flower her and then not take responsibility for your actions?! I'm sorry, but that's just cold. I understand you're scared, and I don't blame you- but that's no way to handle it. I suggest you stop having sex until you are emotionally mature enough to face the inherent risks. To abandon her now and let her face this alone is proof enough that you're not ready for sex.

Then again, if this is how you will be treating her, you might be doing her a favor by ending it now.

Sorry man, that's just how I see it.

 
Old 11-11-2003, 10:26 PM   #4
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15 minutes early and not erect is way too early to be putting the condom on. Best time is right before you are about to actually have intercourse.

And if there is condom failure (breaks, slips off) the spermicide - assuming it even has any - isn't enough to count on. In situations like that it's time to use back up ECP (or the 'morning after pill').

As for breaking up with your gf just because she's late for her period, okay, maybe faithfulman was a little harsh on you, but that really is a foolish and incredibly selfish reason. The fear of getting her pregnant should be making you think about practicing safer sex from now on, and what you will do if she does end up pregnant, not about dumping her, which won't solve anything. If you're thinking of dumping her because the stress this has caused has just been too much, why don't you just not have sex with her?

 
Old 11-12-2003, 07:53 PM   #5
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The right time to put on a condom is as soon as your penis becomes erect and before any contact with her vagina.

Assuming your g/f isn't pregnant I would strongly suggest that she use a contraceptive along with your using a condom to prevent pregnancy. This will also protect her in the event the condom were to slip off or break. The spermicide in a condom will be of little help if the condom breaks and you then release pre-ejaculate or semen.

As for breaking up with her because you think she might be pregnant...that is a pretty immature thing to do. While she probably isnt pregnant you need to learn from this experience and take the proper precautions if you want to have sex.

 
Old 11-12-2003, 08:38 PM   #6
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Heather1977 HB User
Quote:
Originally Posted by Savestheday7432
hi this is my first post and probally my last here but anyway i need your help because im so scared and thinking about puting an end to my relationship with my girlfriend and this is why......about a week ago me and her had sex it was my first time and her first time also everything went smooth but i put the condom on like 15 minutes on before we had sex and it wasnt hard and it kept going on and off was that the smart thing to do? is to put that condom on for that long when its not hard? and then after we have sex i was like dude what happens if she gets pregnet and now a week later shes late for her period and i dont know if shes pregnet or not...im thinking her period is late because she had sex for the first time....and then today my condom broke inside her but thats ok because i didnt ejaculate in her....im sorry if this didnt make sense but im so scared and i need help
First of all you should not be having sex if you get this freaked out. You are not ready. As for dumping your girlfriend, that is very immature, especially after taking her virginity. Most likely she isn't pregnant. I was a month late after my first time because i was worried about being pregnant. The more you worry the later you will usually be. But that was a long, long time ago. Just wise up and talk to her about your feelings. Thats what you are suppose to do when you are mature enough to have a sexual relationship.

Good Luck,
Heather
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Heather

 
Old 11-13-2003, 07:44 PM   #7
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nah dude shes not pregnet she had her period thank god....and yes i know i wasnt ready for sex and i also know leaving her would be the awful thing to do...but i was just scared and im sorry i said that

 
Old 11-13-2003, 08:36 PM   #8
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faithfulman HB User
VERY glad to hear that. Now that you can think straight- LEARN from your mistake and make something good come of it. Best of luck.

 
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