I was wondering how many women have never had a problem 'getting off' during normal sex (intercourse). I was made to feel about three feet tall last night, after having noticed that my girl was very dry towards the end of the act. She was wet about 75% of the time I guess dry for the last 25%.
She told me that I made her dry because I wasn't hitting her spot. I've never been a porn star but can last a long time...so I'm not worried about not getting the chance to practice. However, what made it really bad was that she told me this has never happened to her before.
Basically that everyone else she has been with has been able to locate, find and hit her spot and get the job done. The only thing I can conclude is that it was like I was lost in the wilderness or something.
My questions are:
* Can most men automatically locate the right spot on each individual woman - even the first time having sex with that person?
* For women, do most men hit your G spot the first time out, or do you expect them to find it on their own every time?
* Is it cool to talk about that with your partner? Or should I just be able to clue in with each girl I meet? Know what I mean...? It seems like it would help me if she gave me some signals as to when I was hitting the spot.
* Any information/resources to learn more about how to recognize and hit the G...
I've gotta say your whole post surprises me. First reason is that only a small percentage of women reach orgasm through intercourse alone (no clitoral stimulation). Surveys place it anywhere from as low at 10% to 30%. And even at 30%, that's still only 3 out of 10 women.
Second reason is that you never mentioned the clitoris once. What happened? When did the G-spot take over as THE way for a woman to reach orgasm? And actually, if I read your post carefully, you always have her referring to her "spot" not her "g-spot" are you sure she even meant her g-spot?
And finally, it sounds to me like she was shifting all the "blame" to you when it should be shared, because men aren't psychic. There is NO way you are going to know exactly how to please her the first time. Of course, I think unless you are new at it, women can expect their partner to know at least the basics of general female anatomy, most importantly that most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
As for you automatically knowing exactly where her g-spot is... as if. She could have said something - communication is key, you know. And if you are talking about during intercourse, and she was expecting you to hit it with your penis, then she would have been just as capable of moving her body in a way to accommodate her needs, since she's the one who (I assume) can feel it or not. Like, how are you supposed to know you're hitting the right spot with your penis?
As for your survey-like questions:
Considering how many people come on these boards asking for directions to find the g-spot, I'd say no, not all men (or women) can automatically locate it.
And it's very important to talk about this stuff with your partner. Maybe you don't exactly have to 'talk' about it, but feedback is VERY important, while it's going on, not after, when it can sound like a score card or criticism. Your lady last night doesn't sound like she was very helpful or communicative at all.
As for resources or info about the g-spot, well, IMO, the g-spot is highly overrated. I would be more concerned about the clitoris and how all the parts work together.
Of course, I think unless you are new at it, women can expect their partner to know at least the basics of general female anatomy, most importantly that most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
Perhaps this is what she meant.
I assumed it was the G-Spot, it could have been 'whatever' spot though. I am new to it, as far as going into sex with an educated plan on making fireworks fly. I guess now is as good time as any to learn.
Hi madcat. Just wanted to make you feel better and let you know, in my 10 year relationship with my hubby, I have had 2 g-spot orgasm's ONLY. I can no longer have them. He hits it, but it irritates me and I feel like I have to pee. I have clitoral only, and i love them. Don't worry, most woman don't have any orgasm's and never will during intercourse. We do like it though, just not orgasm's like men. Don't feel bad, at least you can last longer!!! Try rubbing her **** during sex, that feels SOOOO good!!! Or get some toys to do that. Don't let her make you feel bad...
But it wouldn't be right for me not to mention why it is that I am able to last a while. For as long as I can remember I had a problem with premature ejaculation and performance anxiety (due to past experience).
I started taking Prozac (helps PE and depression) and Viagra (Helps with, ah nevermind)...and now have 'just about' complete control over my domain at all times.
I don't go out of my way to advocate the use of drugs for functioning normally. I'm just letting people who are sick of bein sick and tired know what I did to eradicate my problem: performance anxiety and premature ejaculation...hopefully it'll help someone.
First of all,I agree with the other posters. I think your partner was putting some blame on you as a defense for herself. Every girl is different, she can't really expect you to be a mind reader! With that said, I am one of those few women that almost always has g-spot orgasms, very rarely clitoral. Believe me, I HAVE to let a guy know where the sweet spot it is! And I also know what positions I need to get into for him to hit it. Pretty soon he figures out what he needs to do and I don't have to say anything. But, before that point, I am full of instructions!
I agree with what everyone's written. All girls are different. You should be able to communivate with her what she likes if you are comfortable. If you've got more questions I reccomend a book titld Guide to Getting it On. It sounds silly, but it is a great refernce for men and women concerning all aspects of sexuality, and very tastefully written.
To be honest I think God forgot to give me a G-spot. I don't think it's ever been hit and we've done all kinds of various positions.
Everyone's right when they say it's not all your fault. Communication is key here. Get her to talk to you about what she likes, what positions she wants etc. I personally find that I don't orgasm every time when I'm on bottom but I do orgasm all the time when I'm on top. In other positions it varies.
Maybe she's just embarrassed and so she blamed it on you. Either way don't let her play the G-spot card (the fact that you weren't hitting it made her dry). It's bogus. I'd say for some reason or another she just "wasn't into it". When we have sex if I'm not into it I am dry (so to speak) but if I am into it then I'm wet whether I "go" or not. Maybe try more foreplay or something.
Glad and sad to see this discussion going on. It is true that very few women actually have g-spot orgasms regularly but I firmly believe that that is mostly due to lack of information.
I highly recommend to everyone in this discussion getting the book Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot by Deborah Sundahl. This gives the best overview of the female sexual anatomy I've ever come across. A few of the highlights:
All women have a "g-spot" - it's actually the female prostate. You can find it by doing just a bit of investigating
Clitoral and vaginal (or g spot) orgasms travel along different neural pathways to different parts of the brain
All women (unless there's some medical complication) are capable of female ejaculation
There's a lot more in there. Get the book. It's amazing
Hey, just to make you feel better, I know how you feel! My bf recently told me that I basically wasnt "doing it for him"! I was sooo upset and my confidence was automatically taken away. So on that part, I know what you mean about feeling like crap because of her saying that! Anyway, I dont think Ive ever found my G-spot, however, I am one of the lucky ones who can orgasm ALMOST every time from penetration. It sounds like you kinda have the same issue as me and my bf, and you just need to communicate more, find out what she likes and what positions will help her hit the G-spot if shes convinced thats why she orgasms. Ya just gotta do what Im doing, and keep trying until you get it right! Good luck! :-)
hi Madcat, there is a laaaaarge amount of women that don't even know they have a g-spot, nor where it is.
By the way it is located in the upper wall, about 2 to 3 inches inside their vagina, sometimes hard to find until the area is stimulated by rubbing it, when it changes its texture, but in the middle of what you'r doing who cares that much on texture?
The part of ur post that caught our eye was "is it cool to talk to her about it" Cindy says "well duh" Even if it's a one night stand you should ALWAY talk about these thing. How can you plesa your partner if ya dont now what she/he likes or dislikes! Communication is the key to ANY relationship
Hi Madcat - First of all, I think it was really rude of her to say all the other guys were able to get her off. Wonder if it's really true??? Besides, that's not something that you would say to someone you care about; it would only make them feel bad. Too make you feel better, I am like alot of women on here in that I have never had a vaginal orgasm. Heck, I'm going to keep on trying though! I truly believe if the man has patience and is able to take the time it can happen. I believe I've come close at times, so my finger are crossed.