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Old 11-23-2003, 06:28 AM   #1
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Honeychild HB User
How Much Sex in A Marriage is Enough?????

Hi everyone

I have been married almost 14 years, and I am 33 years old.

We don't have sex very often. I can't remember the last time we did. it's probably been about a month.

He is a good man to me. Very good, but there is little sexual chemistry. I do orgasm with him, when we do have sex.

But not that it matters that much to me, as my sex drive isn't really high, and I don't have much interest, but I feel that because of the lack of sex, the intimacy is missing. We get along really well together, but I feel like there is a part of my life that is just not working, because our sexual relationship is quite, um, bland.
I guess I want some excitement as well, but maybe I am asking for too much. Maybe you just can't have great sex life, and a great man all wrapped up in one.
Just a bit disappointed here, I guess.

 
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Old 11-23-2003, 10:48 AM   #2
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dollluvsjohn HB User
Re: How Much Sex in A Marriage is Enough?????

Quote:
Originally Posted by Honeychild
Hi everyone

I have been married almost 14 years, and I am 33 years old.

We don't have sex very often. I can't remember the last time we did. it's probably been about a month.

He is a good man to me. Very good, but there is little sexual chemistry. I do orgasm with him, when we do have sex.

But not that it matters that much to me, as my sex drive isn't really high, and I don't have much interest, but I feel that because of the lack of sex, the intimacy is missing. We get along really well together, but I feel like there is a part of my life that is just not working, because our sexual relationship is quite, um, bland.
I guess I want some excitement as well, but maybe I am asking for too much. Maybe you just can't have great sex life, and a great man all wrapped up in one.
Just a bit disappointed here, I guess.
That is not true you can have both you should have both. There probably is some intimacy missing from your relationshup becuase of the lack of sex. I wish I could be helpon what to do for that. Mayeb he feels that he doesnt want to pressure you into sex or anything. try to intiate sex. If you arent in the mood then create a differnt kind of intimate setting candles music that kind of thing. Who knows maybe it will help you both enhance your sexual lives. Sorry I am not much help!!
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Old 11-24-2003, 04:13 PM   #3
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Ladee HB User
hi

Let me tell you what a good friend of mine told me.

Just sex the heck out of him. Initiate lots of sex every chance you get, bypass your lack of desire, tiredness, excuses. Give him sex at night and in the morning.

After a while of doing that, you will have desire and sex much more often and you could become multi-orgasmic. That's what happended with my hubs and I. I was feeling a lack of intimacy, but now, it's so intimate and we BOTH jump each other cause now, we can't have enough sex and we have it day and night.

Try it, you'll like it.




 
Old 11-24-2003, 05:33 PM   #4
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swallowgoldfish HB User
Re: hi

Hmm...that sounds tempting. It's true though, even when I'm really tired, if I give it everything I've got and turn myself on, then somehow I can get myself in the mood.

Mmmm, it's been 3 weeks with my boyfriend since we're both in school and I've been sick! Ah! Can't wait till we get an apartment. You married people and your sex lives!

 
Old 11-24-2003, 05:43 PM   #5
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Ladee HB User
Re: hi

Oh gee, I guess I clicked on new topic instead of reply. I was posting to this thread: How Much Sex in A Marriage is Enough?????

Hi Swallow, my friend sure gave me some valuable advice and I'm ever so glad I took it.

Yes, us married people and our sex lives. I love it.

Hope you get your apartment soon, I can see how hard it is when you don't live together.


Last edited by Mod-S4; 11-24-2003 at 06:29 PM. Reason: Threads merged (posts moved) no actual edit.

 
Old 11-24-2003, 05:49 PM   #6
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,190
Magnetic HB UserMagnetic HB User
Re: How Much Sex in A Marriage is Enough?????

If he were to come on to more often, would you pony up? I agree that if you have been less than receptive in the past he has maybe given up on inititiating sex very often as he doesn't want to face rejection.

I would suggest you mention this to your gynocologist and see if any physical reasons can be found. The pressures of work, medications, birth control pills, etc. can all ruin one's sex drive.

Provided you had a good sex life when your were younger, you might need to try to get some time off together in a stress free situation and try to rekindle that old excitement. You both might need to see a sex therapist, and it might be good for him to see a doctor if his sex drive, too, is low, if this fails.

Yes, you are missing intimacy and I hope you work to get things back to normal.

 
Old 11-24-2003, 07:02 PM   #7
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Ladee HB User
Re: How Much Sex in A Marriage is Enough?????

Thank you Mod S4 for moving my posts to this thread.



 
Old 11-24-2003, 07:07 PM   #8
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HPCstressjunkie HB User
Re: hi

But what do you do when that does not work? I gave my husband the gift of his first child 17mos ago. Since then, I have ceased to be a lover, mother, wife and woman to him. He is absorbed by his parents insane ideals of working 24/7, 52 jobs at a time! I like to think I'm quite hot, and lord knows so is he..but this is riduclous! When I can pin him down, he's done in 3 or less!

 
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