Greetings all, over the past few months i have done research, asked questions, and done a little pondering myself, being the inquisitive person that i am, i wanted to understand what the deal was behind the ideaology that "Size Matters". No, i do not have a small penis but it was out of mere curiosity and interest that i learned of such things, and by no means am i trying to be dirty. Consider this a somewhat medical if not informative journal.
As human beings, we strive to understand almost everything around us. We want to know WHY things happen, or WHY things are the way they are. And often if we can not come up with a scientific answer to these questions, we put in place our own answers to them. Heres an example;
A wife complains that she is not happy with her sexual life with her husband, and she wants to know WHY she is unhappy with him. Perhaps she doesnt have her own real answer to this, so in place she puts her own answer to her own question, her answer being likely because of his penis size. Rather, she is unhappy with it. Why? Because it is a near widespread myth or belief that guys are supposed to be hung like bulls, for a womans enjoyment. So she uses that as her basis for why she is unhappy with her sexual life.
Masterbation is a realatively normal thing, women do it, and men do it. The thing is, can some women really complain about the size of their mans penis, when all it takes is their own two fingers to get off? Look at the size of your fingers. If a women can get off on that, but not on a man himself, there is something wrong to the equation. Believe it or not, that saying "Its not the size that counts, its the way you use it, is near completely true. Its likely that a women knows best how to pleasure herself, more so then the guy, which is why Masterbation for her could be more enjoyable then being with a man. NOT because of the size of his penis, but because she knows what shes doing, she knows what will get her to climax. Many of us men attempt to dive right in, but woman require a more slow, and steady approach to sex, if it is to be as enjoyable for them as it is to men. If a guy knows what he is doing, and uses whatever he can, aside from just his penis, then a woman can achieve an orgasm just fine, regardless of how big or small his penis is.
Whats more, many womens vaginas are only 4-5 inches deep. So the perhaps the most sensitive spot in a woman, the G spot, is in fact only located a couple or few inches within, and it doesnt take a big dick to get there. So does Size matter? Again that may be a matter of opinion, but hopefully this has opened up a new perspective on that myth. I realize there are a good number of men out there who may feel inadequete with themselves because of smaller genetalia, but these feelings are needless, if people are well educated on it. I meant nothing offensive in this writing, and i would apreciate your feedback as well.
i definately have mixed feelings on this topic. to me forplay is more important! if a man can do that well, it's great. but if his penis is too small, to the point you cant feel it, then i doesnt matter how he uses it. especially if you've had children your vagina is a little more laxed. small penis meaning 4"-5", i consider small. ive had 2 children, and i definately notice a difference what i could handle before, and now. i never realized a woman's vagina to be 4" in depth?? i know for a fact mine is more than 8" in depth. true that a woman can get off with her finger's, but usually you are rubbing the ****, when masterbating. that really has nothing to do with being inside your vagina. i would never judge a man on his penis size, i feel if you are in a loving relationship, that defianately is not #1, as long as you have an enjoyable, satisfying sex life. open communication and so forth. there are soooo many things to do, to spice your sex life up, and always new things to try!
Whats more, many womens vaginas are only 4-5 inches deep. So the perhaps the most sensitive spot in a woman, the G spot, is in fact only located a couple or few inches within, and it doesnt take a big dick to get there.
Hi Jenner1, you had me right up to that point. First off, while a woman's vagina may average 4 or 5 inches - at rest - it is very flexible and can handle a penis MUCH bigger. That is nothing to base adequate penis size on.
Secondly, the most sensitive spot on a woman is her clitoris, NOT the g-spot. The clitoris - which a woman uses her fingers on to masturbate; which is what usually gives a woman her orgasm; which usually never comes in contact with a penis during intercourse; which therefore couldn't care less how big a penis is...
The vagina, on the other hand, does come into direct contact with the penis, and for many women, they CAN tell the difference in penis size, and regardless of this contact having anything to do with whether they achieve orgasm (usually not), there is still a difference.
You're theory might be right, but your reasoning is a little off. Make sure you have your facts straight.
It's interesting that the discussion of size vs. skill comes up. I was pondering this the other night. My ex called me last night to let me know he would be in town a few days. He point blank asked me if I would have sex with him. No strings attached, no one would know. My ex's penis is large with good girth. The current guy I am seeing has a penis that I would rate as "smaller side of average". Not puny, but not very big or thick. My ex probably has a couple inches on him. But, my current guy is exceptionally great at foreplay, kissing, and receptive to what I like. My ex is a closed-eyed, no kissing, no passion, have-you-came-yet-so-i-can, type of lover. I told the ex " no thanks". I even wrote in my journal last night " I would take a great lover with a small penis over a lousy lover with big penis anyday"
As for the comment about a wife blaming her sexual dissatisfaction on her husband's penis size-
I have many girlfriends, and we have had many deep discussions about men, sexual fantasies, what we find dissatisfing in our relationships, are they good in bed,etc. We even talk about liking a big penis.NEVER ONCE has a girlfriend said to me , " I need/want his penis to be bigger." or " I think I'll leave him, his penis is too small."
Last edited by desertdweller; 12-03-2003 at 03:21 PM.
I always find these size questions quite interesting. It’s like asking someone if they like Coke or Pepsi. Maybe they’d like water, ginger ale, or not even care.
I read an article in a Men’s magazine a while back in which they asked women what they preferred for size. Most said they didn’t care, others said average, and a very small percentage said large. The women who wanted large claimed that’s what all women want and they’re lying if they deny that.
Take it for what it’s worth!
We all have preferences, and when choosing a partner we obviously want certain attributes, but do we ever get 100% of what we want? Not usually. Do men with a large penises or women with large breasts make better lovers? No. Does porn only show endowed people? Probably 99% of the time.
A few years ago someone told me about a website in which people post profiles looking for large sized partners, and I don’t mean heavy! I did look at the site out of curiosity, and wondered if the people were looking for hookups or relationships. I tended to think it was for hookups because if it was for relationships I think they’d be in trouble, but to each his own.
My parents and many people from their generation were virgins when they married, so basically what you saw on your wedding night was it, and you lived with it. Women were less experienced then, so maybe they didn’t care and figured all guys were the same size. Women today see porn and most likely have had more partners than their mothers and grandmothers, so that kind of innocence is lost. We are a jaded society in all respects.
A twist on this subject is an article I read in the New York Observer about a month ago. The article was about size, but not men’s size. It was about women’s size! It was tongue in cheek, but some of it rang true. The article said all you hear about now is men’s size; in commercials, articles, movies, and television shows.
Many of the women in the article said you don’t hear about women’s size because “one size fits all”. Some of the men said just the opposite, and that they’ve been with women who were a little too loose, and it just wasn’t enjoyable for them. Helen Gurley Brown of Cosmo was quoted as saying that all women want large penises. Just my opinion, but I think that Ms. Brown and her magazine have done more damage to women than just about anyone, but that's another topic in itself.
The article also went on to say that a vaginal tightening procedure is quickly becoming very popular. Does this mean men are small or women are too large? I have no idea! Take that for what it’s worth!
thats one reason I'm trying to learn everything i can about sex - how to be a better lover and how to give a woman an orgasm that will "rock her world".... I figure that way she'll be less likely to dwell on the actual size of it
A women will never brag about a "less-endowed" guy to her girlfriends because its embarrasing!...and if they tell their guy that that little "thing" is the best they have ever had...THEY ARE LYING!..Women do not want to hurt our feelings!
Most women are not discussing size with each other. And even if they are, it would only be the women who’ve been with a lot of men, since the other ones wouldn’t know the difference unless they’ve seen porn, and in that case I’m sure they realize those men aren’t average.
If her s/o is small or average she may not go into specifics, but say that he’s a good lover, which is entirely possible despite his size. The majority of women in the real world don’t talk trashy amongst themselves like the gals on “Sex in the City”.
You did confirm what I said about porn. Of course that’s what people want to see, but it’s a fantasy, and if those performers are only 2% of the population, I don’t believe the other 98% of people are inferior and being lied to.
Try this one on for size:
My g/fs ex before me was huge. He was like 8"+ i think. i'm hitting about 6". She said he was terrible, and his 8" didn't make him a great lover at all.
I'm not saying i'm the greatest, but she does orgasm about 90% of the time (which still isn't an indication of a great lover) I'm just saying this because you mentioned in one of your posts how women orgasm more with a bigger penis.
anyway, she seems to think i do just fine, and actually DOES brag about my skills as a lover to her friends. (they've asked me about it later).
All this despite my losing over 2" to her ex.
I think that the obsession of penis size on both sides of the gender line is just an extension of everyone's pre-occupation with size.
Bigger cars, bigger meals, bigger breasts, bigger lips, bigger buildings, bigger everything.
Basically: if you have a tiny penis, yeah she's not going to brag about it. But you don't have to have a 7 or 8" penis to please a woman. If you think that you do then I'm sorry, you're mis - informed, or the women you are around have un real expectations.
Cosmic you are speaking from a small group of women that you know that doesnt give you or them the right to speak for all women.
I do agree whole heartedly that size doesnt matter. I have been with 4 guys,granted not alot but there was a variety size wise. I had small which happened to be a great lover. I have been with huge that was horrid,not only because of pain factor but because he didnt know how to use what he had.
The female friends I have had over the years have always stuck by the size doesnt matter. One of them I know is true because she was with my ex that was small,they have been happily married for about 7 yrs now.
Also as for the porn thing,apparently some people havent seen Ron Jeremy. He is a male porn star that is overweight and not well endowed. But man oh man is he is a ton of porns.
There are plenty of us out here who do stick by the line size doesnt matter simply because it is true
DS 13 yr
DS 8 yr (3+ yrs ttc)
TTC #3 since 01/02
Hummm, since Cosmic seems determined to keep spreading the 'size does matter to women' line to everyone, (and he isn't even a woman) I thought I'd pipe back up again. Yes, while women can feel the difference between sizes if it's a significant difference (I don't think anyone has been saying we can't), the real question is: does it matter? NO. About as much as it matters to a man if he's got a large breast in his hand or a small one. Psychologically, if either of them is really hung up on big ones, then psychologically, it will matter, but physically, it is irrelevant. Why? Because MOST woman do NOT reach orgasm through intercourse.
As for whom to believe when telling about what matters, I'm much more inclined to believe a man who's been married to his satisfied partner for a while than some woman Cosmic "talked with one night". And Cosmic's assumption that her large partner also 'knew how to use it' is funny because there isn't really very much you can do with a penis. The euphemism is for all the other non-intercourse stuff that it takes to satisfy a woman. Where penis size doesn't matter either.
This is starting to get interesting!
I think we may be having connotational differences. Blastoff - the proof you are presenting that size doesn't matter is the fact that your friend has been married to a "small" man for 7 years. That's great, and I'll agree with you that size doesn't matter for the big picture. But honestly, can you tell me that you felt no difference between a large penis and a small penis???
I think Cosmic is on the right track (and getting attacked for it!) I just got married this summer, and yes, my bachelorette party involved a penis cup, penis cards, and penis talk. I do discuss penis size with my friends, but only when I can be complimentary (and I've only been with five guys, if that matters).
However, I would like to reiterate my point that the only size difference that actually makes a difference to me is width. I truly don't understand this obsession with length. Any women out there agree with me?
I never said I didnt feel a difference,I did state that the smaller guy was a much better lover than the large guy I was with. The difference wasnt that great. And if you look I did mention pain was a factor in the difference.
Cosmic I have seen a few male strippers myself and the stuffing int he g-string isnt that impressive because of two facts. It doesnt matter what size a limp penis is,so one can have what looks like a huge penis but when it gets hard it could very easily be below or at average size. Also alot of male strippers like to stuff the package to give it a bigger appearance.
DS 13 yr
DS 8 yr (3+ yrs ttc)
TTC #3 since 01/02
I read an article about porn “actor” Ron Jeremy a while ago. It said that he couldn’t get a date in high school. He didn’t have the looks. Finally he got a date and had sex with the girl that night. The girl told all the other girls about his large penis, and the next day he was the most popular guy in school. He had more dates than he could handle, and now he gets paid to have sex, and women get paid to have sex with him.
There are always going to be size queens. Are some women going to lie to their partners? Sometimes. I don’t think it’s a really awful lie. It’s more like a little white lie. In the same respect a man isn’t going to tell his small or average breasted gal how he craves large breasts. Not all men love large breasts and not all women love large penises. That’s a fact!
I haven’t seen porn in a while, but I remember the women would basically say the same corny lines in every movie like “I love how big you are, and it makes me so hot”. When I watched porn I was fascinated by those large penises and I’m straight. Sometimes I’d be looking more at the penises than at the women. LOL!! It’s curiosity and they’re an oddity. I often wonder today why porn is so popular when all it does is make men feel insecure about their size.
Time and time again I’ve read on this website and in various publications that women aren’t as visual as men as far as body parts are concerned. I’d say that’s a true statement. Women have Playgirl magazine and that’s probably it, unless they want to go to a gay website to look at nude men. Men have tons of magazines and websites with all kinds of nude women. It’s amost like a female parts store, and you can basically pick what you want: small breasted, large breasted, redheads, blondes, heavy women, black, Asian, etc.
I think on the whole, gay men are much more interested in penises than women. I haven’t seen gay porn, but I’d assume that the men in those movies are on the larger size also. What one of the other posters said is true: we’re all interested in anything large no matter what it is.
I’m not small and I’m not huge. If I wanted to I could probably have a surgical or other procedure done to gain some size. I’ll pass on that. I’m happy with what I have, and besides, there are really only two people who are going to see my penis, my wife and my doctor, and my doctor won’t be seeing it erect!