I seem to have a problem with my libido. I've only had sex once, and it was nearly a disaster. For some strange reason, I couldn't stay hard longer than like 5-10 minutes at a time. I say strange because I have been masturbating since I was 14 (I'm 18 now) and I never once had a problem doing it.
Okay, so now this really BEAUTIFUL, perfect girl comes along, and I'm lucky enough to have sex with her, right? Suddenly it's like a nightmare. I was doing just fine and all the sudden... poof, I'm soft again. I don't understand it, I couldn't have been more turned on, and yet I just wasn't staying erect. I was able to get it back up of course, but I'm really angry at the fact that this happened. I totally expected to last all of 5 minutes my first time, and be hard as a rock.
Instead, I was only erect on and off during the whole course of the thing, and I didn't even have an orgasm because of this. It was still good, of course, but I'm just ****** off, and quite embarassed. I was never fully erect the whole time, the farthest I got was flying at half mast. I don't know if I was subconciously nervous, or stressed, or just too tired (It was at like 2 A.M.) or what...
It's been a week since I had sex, and I haven't gotten a boner at all, except for morning wood. This is bothering me pretty badly, I used to be really horny all the time. I haven't even wanted to masturbate either, I only did it once, and I used to do it about once a day.
Anyone have any advice? I just can't seem to get turned on all of the sudden, or something...
You're probably just nervous. I wouldn't stress about it too much, just get your mind off of it for a while and I think your libido will return shortly. I know guys who couldn't orgasm their first time due to anxiety or nervousness. Maybe you should go slower? Just because someone is really attractive doesn't mean your body and mind will only concentrate on sex. You are probably preoccupied with other feelings. I was really turned on my first time during foreplay, but when my boyfriend asked if I wanted to have sex and when we eventually did I got really nervous and dry.
Just try making out and getting into it for longer instead of focusing on the actual intercourse aspect.
It you get the woody, you are physically fine. I would chalk this up to anxiety. Totally beautiful woman can do it to us - we want so hard to be a good lover (as we assume she can have her pick of any man and we want her to continue to pick us) that the anxiety destroys us. You have to be careful not to obsess over this, as it can get worse if you do. Simply try to relax. Even talk to her about it - letting her know may take some of pressure off of you. Good luck.
I think too that it was just the anxiety and pressure to perform well for a beautiful girl. Try not to stress over it and just relax and just don't think about it so much. It will get better with time. Heck, maybe all it took was just that one time and you'll be fine after that, just give it a chance. It will work out for you.
Thanks very much for the replies. I'm pretty sure it was just anxiety as well.
The weird thing though is that I didn't really feel that nervous at the time, but I think I was just in denial or something... Oh well, I'll get better with experience, I guess.
You're fine dude. That's not all that embarassing. Try sleeping with a woman drunk and not being able to get an erection at ALL!!!!!!! ... probably the worst experience of my life. I haven't recovered confidence since.
Last edited by Mod-S4; 12-05-2003 at 08:48 AM.
Reason: Please try to use proper terminology.