How long until not using condom anymore?
I have some concerns and I really would appreciate your advices.
Me and my boyfriend are now together since 3 months.
He was married for 15 years. Has 2 children. (Just some info on the side).
We love eachother deeply.
Well, of course, we are using condoms when we make love.
He is "fixed", meaning, he had an operation 3 years ago, which won't let him have anymore children.
So, if we decide to stop the condoms, that worry would be not there.
I told him, when the day comes, when we would do it without condoms, it won't be without both of us being tested, that should be clear!
He understands and is willing to do that, if I said "Go!" he would do it today.
But, he doesn't seem to understand why I am so so focused and hesitant on that subject, because he said he also feels a little hurt like I would accuse him of being someone who is just having sex with just anyone.
I already told him of my past, that I always met men who were not what they pretended to be in the beginning and that I have been lied to big deal so of course my trust is, after all those experiences, building very slowly.
I admit, that, yes, I do have an issue with trusting someone now, I have a very hard time, and even when I don't have a reason to distrust, I still assume and jump to conclusions, I am working on that.
But then I also told him, as long as he and I have some little insecurities or tiffs going, which always throw me back in my trust a little, it will take me a bit longer to be on the 100 % trust level.
He now is afraid, that no matter what we have a discussion about, I would make a big thing out of it and take it as a reason not to trust him, but I explained that it is only this way because I am still getting to know him and his actions.
When there is a comfort level, where I can say: Oh, when he does this or that, he doesn't mean that it is this or that, etc. then I will probably be at ease.
Am I making any sense here?
Anyone of you who has been in a similar situation or knows how I feel?
I love him so much, and I also want to be as close to him as I can be,it is so hard for me to convey to him why I am so super cautious.
He now thinks I try to tell him that he is not trust worthy. Not at all what I meant!
Phew, this is tough....