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Old 12-17-2003, 11:31 PM   #1
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catt HB User
2 Brothers...one child

I'll try to make this short!

I slept with brother A from Jan-1998 to Feb-12-1998, brother B was Feb-25-1998. They are half-brothers. I become pregnant, due date was Nov 2-1998, full term, born on due date.

Conception calculator says my conception date was Feb-9. Who would most likely be the father? Brother A whom I slept with in the beginning if the month of Feb + January, or Brother B, whom I slept with the last week of Feb?

I also have hazel eyes, Brother A has hazel eyes and Brother B has brown eyes, child has blue-green eyes. Brother A plus me, are light brown/sandy haired, light caucasion skinned, Brother B is darker caucasion skinned, dark brown hair... child is light skinned and light haired. All of Brother B's children are brown haired/brown eyed, inlcuding my other son (we have since married and he has two girls from a previous marriage), except my child in question.

To me it seems as if Brother A is the father. I have a paternity test but am scared to death to tell either of them for fear of hurting my child and our families.

Please help!

 
Old 12-18-2003, 09:19 AM   #2
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sansman10 HB User
Re: 2 Brothers...one child

I take it you haven't named one of them on the child's birth certificate? Since brothers are involved it is going to create some dissention among the ranks, you need to realize that. You also need to take steps to determine proper paternity and get the matter squared away, and that involves DNA testing. Do both brothers have the same blood tyoe or did some anomoly give diff blood types, that would be a way...geez, I'm no doctor at this, but you need to talk to them and tell them what's up and they need to be stand up guys and volunteer to find out who the father really is!

 
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Old 12-18-2003, 12:01 PM   #3
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Re: 2 Brothers...one child

Do either of them know that you slept with their brother? If so, that could make things a lot easier. If not, I think you really need to tell them. It may be hard, but you can't deny your child a father.
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Old 12-18-2003, 02:08 PM   #4
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Re: 2 Brothers...one child

Quote:
Originally Posted by wondertwin44
Do either of them know that you slept with their brother? If so, that could make things a lot easier. If not, I think you really need to tell them. It may be hard, but you can't deny your child a father.

I vote for Brother A. Do you know the blood types of you, the brothers and the child? That might settle it. You need to find out the father and establish a paternity to get child support - your child also needs to know who its father is.

 
Old 12-18-2003, 04:31 PM   #5
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Re: 2 Brothers...one child

Well....if you truly want to know your gonna have to have them tested.

Brother A already knows you've slept with brother B since your married to him....I'm *Guessing* brother B knew you were seeing Brother A for a while?

wheeeeeeeeew my head is spinning!

But you really do need to find out...for the childs sake and to put peace in your mind

 
Old 12-18-2003, 09:09 PM   #6
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You have a paternity test? What does that mean, you have the results or you bought a test and haven't used it yet? I thought drs had to take samples and perform the test in a lab...

Regardless, don't guess the paternity. You all need to take the test. You already think it's the other guy's. Are you going to go through life wondering,and probably acting like it's true?

Also, did brother #2 marry you because you were pregnant and he thought it was his? If that's the case, then I can see why you'd be scared to stir things up. Anyway, we can't tell you who the father is based on eye and skin color or or what day you may have ovulated on...

 
Old 12-18-2003, 09:10 PM   #7
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Re: 2 Brothers...one child

Yes, Brother B actually foiled me and Brother A's relationship. He had me believe he was cheating on me. I know I am horrible for doing something like that, but I was young and wasn't looking for anything serious.

Brother B 'knocked me up' on purpose, and they have the same blood type and yes my child has Brother B's name on the birth certificate. So I never once thought to go back and look at dates. Until recently. People around me and close to our families have made assumptions about my child being Brother A's. And my child is looking alot like Brother A as he is growing older. He is 5 now and the resemblence... it's uncanny. So, after the last assumption made by a sister-in-law who knew the brothers are half brothers, they have the same mom, not father. Her quote was that my child look like Brother A's fathers side of the family, and she knows damn well that would be impossible!

So I decided to go back and look for myself. And it stunned me. I knew my now husband did what he did on prupose. So, the conception date should have been after Feb. 25th. That was what I was expecting. Then I saw Feb. 9 show up and I literally felt sick to my stomach. Brother A and I had sex twice without a condom, both times we were drinking. He calimed he was careful when we all found out I was pregnant, so I 'trusted' him.

Well, now by the conception date, it looks like Brother A is the father. I don't know his blood type. Brother B's is A+ and so is my son and my youngest son. I am O-. Any clue has to how to ask a question about blood types without raising curiousity, say at a party or somehting? LOL!

I'm not worried nor am I after child support. I can care less about that part of it. I wouldn't make Brother A pay up anyway, he doesn't bother me, in fact, I love him and he loves me, but we both decided we could never be together again. Especially after I married his half-brother, and he is about ready to get engaged. But I want to tell him before he gets himself married.

I was thinking of talking to him privately about the paternity test I have, having him just take it and deal with the results when they come. This way, if we keep the test between us, we can avoid hurting the family and our loved ones, especially if it comes out negative. My mother told me not to say anything at all, she expects me to keep this to myself!

Well, hopefully I answered all the above questions and added more insight to the story.

Thanks to all who responded!

 
Old 12-18-2003, 09:22 PM   #8
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catt HB User
Re: 2 Brothers...one child

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thisby
You have a paternity test? What does that mean, you have the results or you bought a test and haven't used it yet? I thought drs had to take samples and perform the test in a lab...

I have a private home test from Gene Tree

Also, did brother #2 marry you because you were pregnant and he thought it was his? If that's the case, then I can see why you'd be scared to stir things up. Anyway, we can't tell you who the father is based on eye and skin color or or what day you may have ovulated on...
No, we got married a year after my second son was born. I know you guys can't tell me who the father is, I was looking for more opinions about this from people I don't know! And also hoping to find someone who is in a similar situation as mine.

 
Old 12-19-2003, 06:06 AM   #9
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Re: 2 Brothers...one child

Catt, I still think that you should get the DNA testing done. Since they are half brothers, there could be medical issues that could come into play with your son. Some familes have a disposition to skin cancer, or blood disorders that don't show up until later. If you knew exactly who the father is, you could at least be prepared for such problems should they arise by being able to go to him and ask the appropriate questions. Put aside the monetary issues and think of the health issues for your son. It is a good thing to know for certain.

If it means anything, I think you have done as good a job as is possible dealing with the situation for everyone involved and avoiding hurting anyone. All your husband has to do is take the test, if the DNA test doesn't match your son's, then you can approach brother A and say he needs to step up and have the test done. Then you can get the medical history info you need and bring closure to the whole thing, and no one needs to know what is going on. It is a private matter.

Good Luck with all this.

 
Old 12-19-2003, 03:52 PM   #10
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Re: 2 Brothers...one child

The blood type is consistent with Brother B being the father, but if Brother A has type A or AB, he could also be the the father. I would wager this is the case.

 
Old 12-20-2003, 03:43 PM   #11
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Re: 2 Brothers...one child

I think you should go on Maury's talk show.. haha

 
Old 12-24-2003, 05:20 AM   #12
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Re: 2 Brothers...one child

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sauceboy01
I think you should go on Maury's talk show.. haha

I was thinking exactly the same thing. Let Maury pay for the paternity test and we can all stop guessing.

Seriously, if you want to be sure who the real father is then all parties involved should be aware including both brothers. As an alternative, if you are married to brother B, have him take the paternity test. If he comes back negative, well by process of elimination you can be certain who the real father is unless you forgot to mention a half cousin in between.

You should solve this problem between you and your current husband before you get the other brother involved. You should deal with your husband first or keep it all to yourself. I see this as being no different than keeping it from him by talking only to brother A. Just be aware of the potential consequences of finding out that brother A is the father before you go looking for the answer.

Hoop

 
Old 12-24-2003, 10:26 AM   #13
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Re: 2 Brothers...one child

Um, if the conception date was Feb 9 (while you were with Brother A) and you didn't have sex with Brother B until Feb 25, that's a two-week difference for Brother B. Feb 25 would have been when you missed a period. It isn't possible for Brother B to be the father.

 
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