A guy friend of mine, whom I would like to be closer to , did something at his work that surprised me. One of the coworkers had just got a boob job and wanted to show them off to everyone at work, guys included. As she was lifting up her bra, my guy friend walked out the room. Everyone teased him there, the girl said to him to stay and watch, but he just walked out. He is a dentist there, and the girl there was a tech or assistant. Now, my question is this... all we have is a friendship with benefits in which he claims he does not want anything more then that due to us being different races and all,. So I am stuck there... and then he does this... does this occurance at work and what he did reflect anything about his character? ? Any insight would be really helpful. .. I really think given the oppurtunity most guys would have just stayed and watched the show. Thanks.
Forgot to add that besides me , he has a girl that is strictly for booty calls that lives in his area. We live about 400 miles apart from each other. I just think that his life style contradicts the way he acted at work... it's like he is two different people, it doesnt make sense to me.
Sounds like he was trying to avoid a "sexual harrasment" issue at work. What he does outside of work is his business but what happens in his office is another story. I guess if I knew more about this girl and her intentions, I could offer more advise. Could she be trying to set up this man or others?
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Sounds like he was trying to avoid a "sexual harrasment" issue at work. What he does outside of work is his business but what happens in his office is another story. I guess if I knew more about this girl and her intentions, I could offer more advise. Could she be trying to set up this man or others?
Yes, when I read this scenario, my thought were the same as Tomsgirl's. What she was doing could create a liability issue for him if she later changed her mind about what she did, especially since he is in a position of power over her. Better for him to excuse himself from any inappropriate situations that develop, or better yet, to stop them from happening. Otherwise, he could land himself in a heap of trouble. These are the sorts of stories that when they get out can land on the evening news - sexually charged antics in a doctor's/dentist's office.
Sorry, but I think a guy who is sleeping with 2 different women has NO integrity AT ALL.
Yea, I sort of agree..You could have left off that P.S. and I probably would have felt that he was somewhat of a noble man, but I do believe that the only reason he left out was for the sake of his job and yes, I also agree that he would have stayed to watch it if it wasn't at work and then God only knows what he may have done after that given his current situation with women.
I think the guy probably had integrity if he walked out of that situation, but who knows what the reason was for his not staying. I do have an definite opinion about that girl though. First of all, I don't know how someone can be proud of boobs that look like they came off of an assembly line, but the fact that she showed them off at work like that sure doesn't put a person like that high in my eyes. A word that begins with "S" comes to mind to describe someone like that. If I'd be the boss there and would know that she did that, she'd be out the door FAST!
Sorry, but I think a guy who is sleeping with 2 different women has NO integrity AT ALL.
I agree with Greenberry as far as the two women, but putting that aside, he is a professional (a dentist), and probably didn't want to put himself in an awkward and unprofessional situation. Word could get around to his patients and his colleagues.
In the same respect, the boob job lady didn't show much integrity either. I could see if she wanted to show the other ladies in the office(possibly in the ladies room), but to pull up her top in front of the gals and guys really lacks any kind of class at all.
If I were her boss I'd let her go!
What if this way a man who was showing off his penis enlargement in the office -- what would you think? How many ladies would be calling their lawyers to cash in on a sexual harrassment law suit?
Does this put things in prespective?
The lady needs to be reprimanded for her unprofessional conduct. The dentist acted professionally by removing himself from the situation. Down the road, that lady might feel rather embarassed about what she did, but at least she won't have to avert her eyes from his.
He was smart to walk away. These kind of situations in a work environment can lead to the filing of sexual harrasment charges. In fact, if he had supervisory responsibilities and knew this was going on and did nothing to stop it he could be charged as well.
I'd have to look at this as 2 separate issues. As far as the two women go, it seems like they each know about the arrangement and accept it--at least Maybelle who posted the message knows about the other one. Anyway, what does "strictly for booty calls" mean, and is it better or worse than "friend with benefits"? Just curious. I wouldn't do it, maybe you wouldn't either, but if both women know about the deal and consent to it, it's their business.
But the refusal to look at the boobs--good for him. Maybe he's a naturist, and hates the idea of a body mutilated for what he sees as artificial sexual allure. Or he thinks the woman was exploiting her co-workers for a thrill. Or he thought it was just incredibly poor taste, and undignified for the woman herself and anyone she persuaded to look. Or maybe he just wants to prove that if a woman flashes some flesh, every man in sight doesn't have to start drooling. I'd like to hear him talk about it, and I hope he's got some kind of idealistic explanation, even if it's not totally practical.
And if anyone's guilty of sexual harassment, it's Ms Booby.
Amontillado, I agree with you so much and think that the one guilty of sexual harrassment is Ms. Booby! I don't even really stop to think too much about what the intentions were of the guy who was decent enough to walk away for whatever reason he did that. I'm a female who thinks that there just might be some guys around who do have morals. I think what the flasher did was inexcusable! I think very little of a person like that!
There is a time and a place for showing people your surgically enhanced assets and flashing them off in the general office area isn't one of them. She might be proud of them, but these days you never who can turn around and cry "sexual harrasment" and demand compensation.
As for the guy who walked out. Who cares why he walked out, but he's definitely not stupid. The fact he has two women, for booty calls or whatever other reason, who cares!! the guy isn't married and doesnt have a girl friend, so what he does sexually is his own private business. Who knows, maybe the boob job girl wants in his pants too and the entire show and tell was geared towards him!!
Integrity at work, yes. Just because his personal life is not something you approve of, that doesn't mean that his professional conduct could not be outstanding. His professional ethic is no reflection on his personal one. Outside of the workplace, I'd certainly look and even touch if offered, but no way would I be involved in anything like that at work. I have women flirt with me on a daily basis at work... I never flirt back, I simply smile and maybe say thank you. Those few seconds of pleasure are not worth my job.
On the other hand, maybe he just didn't want to help boost her ego and walking out was a kind of put down.
I guess what got me thinking and maybe a little upset was he never told me he had a booty call friend until a couple of weeks ago when I told him I started seeing someone else- I thought it would be okay to tell him since he had always said that he would never wanted a relationship with me anyhow... so he probably was lying to me before that when he said that I was the last person he was intimate with . If he doesnt want a relationship with me then why did he have to lie for so long and pretend that I was the only girl he was being intimate with? Doesnt make sense what so ever. Whatever... I am not saying he is a bad person, for him their is probably a time and place for everything.
I guess what got me thinking and maybe a little upset was he never told me he had a booty call friend until a couple of weeks ago when I told him I started seeing someone else- I thought it would be okay to tell him since he had always said that he would never wanted a relationship with me anyhow... so he probably was lying to me before that when he said that I was the last person he was intimate with.
People lie all the time, but he didn't lie to you. You said in your first post that you live 400 miles away, and he sees someone else for sex. How is that a lie when you knew about it? This post and your original post sound like you're saying 2 different things.
Just to clarify, its been quite some time we have been talking on the phone, ( a lot of those times he wanted the conversation to focus on sex if you get my drift) about almost a year since we last met and were intimate- no sex though- and up until 2 weeks ago he hadnt told me he was seeing anybody else infact he would always say I was the last girl he was with and he didnt have time for anyone else where he lived. Up until 2 weeks ago when I told him I met someone and we went out, he only then confessed that he had a booty call friend who he gets together with every 3 months or so... which I dont think isthe entire truth( the 3 onths part). I didnt bring up why he had told me before he wasnt seeing anyone( I am thinking out of some sort of jeoulosy??) ... I guess I didnt want to embarrass him... so that means he was lying to me before. So then he tells me about his honorable act he pulled at work which knowing a part of him is probably true... I would understand that yeh he has booty call friends and is just waiting to meet the right girl and it is not a reflection of his character, just a lifestyle for the time being.. but then he was lying... doesnt that reflect poorly on his character and contradict his actions at work? Maybe he is someone who has two really different sides to him??? I dont know.
Just to clarify, its been quite some time we have been talking on the phone, ( a lot of those times he wanted the conversation to focus on sex if you get my drift) about almost a year since we last met and were intimate- no sex though-
I kind of get some of this but you lost me again. Intimate but no sex? Was it just phone sex or are you one of those people that only consider intercourse sex?
Quote:
Originally Posted by maybelle
Up until 2 weeks ago when I told him I met someone and we went out, he only then confessed that he had a booty call friend who he gets together with every 3 months or so... which I dont think isthe entire truth( the 3 onths part). I didnt bring up why he had told me before he wasnt seeing anyone( I am thinking out of some sort of jeoulosy??) ... I guess I didnt want to embarrass him... so that means he was lying to me before.
He was definitely reacting to you telling him you are seeing someone -- don't think he liked hearing that too much, so he let it all out. Could be jealousy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by maybelle
So then he tells me about his honorable act he pulled at work which knowing a part of him is probably true... I would understand that yeh he has booty call friends and is just waiting to meet the right girl and it is not a reflection of his character, just a lifestyle for the time being.. but then he was lying... doesnt that reflect poorly on his character and contradict his actions at work? Maybe he is someone who has two really different sides to him??? I dont know.
What we do at work can definitely contradict what we do outside of work. He mentioned that incident at work to possibly impress you, and show you that he can resist other women, or like I said earlier, it could have just been an act of protecting his professional career, and not wanting to get involved in improper office conduct.
We met about a year ago, two times, were physically intimate, no oral or intercourse, hands- yes. Then he moved 400 miles away were upon we started the phone conversations... does that clear it up? I guess it could have been to impress me ... like telling me that he is not a dog and he is a decent guy. Anyhow, thanks for your advice.
Hi,
I actually have another question. This guy that lives 400 miles apart from me is okay with just talking dirty on the phone, I guess sorta like phone sex without the "self sex" part- just talking a bit dirty... he doesnt even mind that we dont ever meet up in person... Is that kinda strange? Are guys into that kinda stuff and open to that?? I would think it would just lead to sexual fustration..
"... all we have is a friendship with benefits in which he claims he does not want anything more then that due to us being different races and all,. "
I don't know, I think this is the part where I'd be focusing on and worrying about. If he's ashamed of interracial dating, then why is he sexual with you? You're fine with that? I don't think this is a good thing and shows less integrity.
Good luck,
