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Old 12-18-2003, 11:33 PM   #1
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Is he a guy of integrity or what?

A guy friend of mine, whom I would like to be closer to , did something at his work that surprised me. One of the coworkers had just got a boob job and wanted to show them off to everyone at work, guys included. As she was lifting up her bra, my guy friend walked out the room. Everyone teased him there, the girl said to him to stay and watch, but he just walked out. He is a dentist there, and the girl there was a tech or assistant. Now, my question is this... all we have is a friendship with benefits in which he claims he does not want anything more then that due to us being different races and all,. So I am stuck there... and then he does this... does this occurance at work and what he did reflect anything about his character? ? Any insight would be really helpful. .. I really think given the oppurtunity most guys would have just stayed and watched the show. Thanks.

Forgot to add that besides me , he has a girl that is strictly for booty calls that lives in his area. We live about 400 miles apart from each other. I just think that his life style contradicts the way he acted at work... it's like he is two different people, it doesnt make sense to me.

Last edited by maybelle; 12-18-2003 at 11:44 PM.

 
Old 12-19-2003, 02:25 AM   #2
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Re: Is he a guy of integrity or what?

Sounds like he was trying to avoid a "sexual harrasment" issue at work. What he does outside of work is his business but what happens in his office is another story. I guess if I knew more about this girl and her intentions, I could offer more advise. Could she be trying to set up this man or others?
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Old 12-19-2003, 05:47 AM   #3
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Re: Is he a guy of integrity or what?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomsgirl
Sounds like he was trying to avoid a "sexual harrasment" issue at work. What he does outside of work is his business but what happens in his office is another story. I guess if I knew more about this girl and her intentions, I could offer more advise. Could she be trying to set up this man or others?
Yes, when I read this scenario, my thought were the same as Tomsgirl's. What she was doing could create a liability issue for him if she later changed her mind about what she did, especially since he is in a position of power over her. Better for him to excuse himself from any inappropriate situations that develop, or better yet, to stop them from happening. Otherwise, he could land himself in a heap of trouble. These are the sorts of stories that when they get out can land on the evening news - sexually charged antics in a doctor's/dentist's office.

Last edited by stolie; 12-19-2003 at 05:48 AM.

 
Old 12-19-2003, 10:35 AM   #4
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Re: Is he a guy of integrity or what?

Sorry, but I think a guy who is sleeping with 2 different women has NO integrity AT ALL.

 
Old 12-19-2003, 11:25 AM   #5
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Re: Is he a guy of integrity or what?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenberry
Sorry, but I think a guy who is sleeping with 2 different women has NO integrity AT ALL.
Yea, I sort of agree..You could have left off that P.S. and I probably would have felt that he was somewhat of a noble man, but I do believe that the only reason he left out was for the sake of his job and yes, I also agree that he would have stayed to watch it if it wasn't at work and then God only knows what he may have done after that given his current situation with women.

 
Old 12-19-2003, 11:28 AM   #6
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Re: Is he a guy of integrity or what?

I think the guy probably had integrity if he walked out of that situation, but who knows what the reason was for his not staying. I do have an definite opinion about that girl though. First of all, I don't know how someone can be proud of boobs that look like they came off of an assembly line, but the fact that she showed them off at work like that sure doesn't put a person like that high in my eyes. A word that begins with "S" comes to mind to describe someone like that. If I'd be the boss there and would know that she did that, she'd be out the door FAST!

 
Old 12-19-2003, 11:33 AM   #7
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Re: Is he a guy of integrity or what?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenberry
Sorry, but I think a guy who is sleeping with 2 different women has NO integrity AT ALL.
I agree with Greenberry as far as the two women, but putting that aside, he is a professional (a dentist), and probably didn't want to put himself in an awkward and unprofessional situation. Word could get around to his patients and his colleagues.
In the same respect, the boob job lady didn't show much integrity either. I could see if she wanted to show the other ladies in the office(possibly in the ladies room), but to pull up her top in front of the gals and guys really lacks any kind of class at all.
If I were her boss I'd let her go!

 
Old 12-19-2003, 03:45 PM   #8
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Re: Is he a guy of integrity or what?

What if this way a man who was showing off his penis enlargement in the office -- what would you think? How many ladies would be calling their lawyers to cash in on a sexual harrassment law suit?

Does this put things in prespective?

The lady needs to be reprimanded for her unprofessional conduct. The dentist acted professionally by removing himself from the situation. Down the road, that lady might feel rather embarassed about what she did, but at least she won't have to avert her eyes from his.

 
Old 12-22-2003, 06:48 PM   #9
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Re: Is he a guy of integrity or what?

He was smart to walk away. These kind of situations in a work environment can lead to the filing of sexual harrasment charges. In fact, if he had supervisory responsibilities and knew this was going on and did nothing to stop it he could be charged as well.

 
Old 12-23-2003, 09:52 PM   #10
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Re: Is he a guy of integrity or what?

I'd have to look at this as 2 separate issues. As far as the two women go, it seems like they each know about the arrangement and accept it--at least Maybelle who posted the message knows about the other one. Anyway, what does "strictly for booty calls" mean, and is it better or worse than "friend with benefits"? Just curious. I wouldn't do it, maybe you wouldn't either, but if both women know about the deal and consent to it, it's their business.

But the refusal to look at the boobs--good for him. Maybe he's a naturist, and hates the idea of a body mutilated for what he sees as artificial sexual allure. Or he thinks the woman was exploiting her co-workers for a thrill. Or he thought it was just incredibly poor taste, and undignified for the woman herself and anyone she persuaded to look. Or maybe he just wants to prove that if a woman flashes some flesh, every man in sight doesn't have to start drooling. I'd like to hear him talk about it, and I hope he's got some kind of idealistic explanation, even if it's not totally practical.

And if anyone's guilty of sexual harassment, it's Ms Booby.

 
Old 12-24-2003, 12:13 PM   #11
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Re: Is he a guy of integrity or what?

Amontillado, I agree with you so much and think that the one guilty of sexual harrassment is Ms. Booby! I don't even really stop to think too much about what the intentions were of the guy who was decent enough to walk away for whatever reason he did that. I'm a female who thinks that there just might be some guys around who do have morals. I think what the flasher did was inexcusable! I think very little of a person like that!

Last edited by yomama; 12-24-2003 at 12:15 PM.

 
Old 12-27-2003, 12:36 AM   #12
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Re: Is he a guy of integrity or what?

There is a time and a place for showing people your surgically enhanced assets and flashing them off in the general office area isn't one of them. She might be proud of them, but these days you never who can turn around and cry "sexual harrasment" and demand compensation.

As for the guy who walked out. Who cares why he walked out, but he's definitely not stupid. The fact he has two women, for booty calls or whatever other reason, who cares!! the guy isn't married and doesnt have a girl friend, so what he does sexually is his own private business. Who knows, maybe the boob job girl wants in his pants too and the entire show and tell was geared towards him!!

 
Old 12-27-2003, 09:50 AM   #13
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Re: Is he a guy of integrity or what?

Integrity at work, yes. Just because his personal life is not something you approve of, that doesn't mean that his professional conduct could not be outstanding. His professional ethic is no reflection on his personal one. Outside of the workplace, I'd certainly look and even touch if offered, but no way would I be involved in anything like that at work. I have women flirt with me on a daily basis at work... I never flirt back, I simply smile and maybe say thank you. Those few seconds of pleasure are not worth my job.

On the other hand, maybe he just didn't want to help boost her ego and walking out was a kind of put down.

 
Old 12-27-2003, 06:17 PM   #14
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Re: Is he a guy of integrity or what?

I guess what got me thinking and maybe a little upset was he never told me he had a booty call friend until a couple of weeks ago when I told him I started seeing someone else- I thought it would be okay to tell him since he had always said that he would never wanted a relationship with me anyhow... so he probably was lying to me before that when he said that I was the last person he was intimate with . If he doesnt want a relationship with me then why did he have to lie for so long and pretend that I was the only girl he was being intimate with? Doesnt make sense what so ever. Whatever... I am not saying he is a bad person, for him their is probably a time and place for everything.

 
Old 12-29-2003, 04:42 AM   #15
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Re: Is he a guy of integrity or what?

Quote:
Originally Posted by maybelle
I guess what got me thinking and maybe a little upset was he never told me he had a booty call friend until a couple of weeks ago when I told him I started seeing someone else- I thought it would be okay to tell him since he had always said that he would never wanted a relationship with me anyhow... so he probably was lying to me before that when he said that I was the last person he was intimate with.
People lie all the time, but he didn't lie to you. You said in your first post that you live 400 miles away, and he sees someone else for sex. How is that a lie when you knew about it? This post and your original post sound like you're saying 2 different things.

 
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