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Old 01-04-2004, 11:00 PM   #1
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Question sharing the past history

My b/f and I are 24yr old. We have been dating for three years. From the begining we had a mutual understanding not to share past intimaties, lovers,the rosters,etc. In the past we have joked once or twice about "Well how many partners have u had?". But we never answered each other. My boyfriend and I are now engaged.We both decieded we should get checkups together. We not sure what exactly what is going to be asked. But we are curious about the reproductive part of the check up. B/C we haven't used protection for as long as far as we can remember. To our surprise I haven't gotten pregnet yet. My problem is that since high school I was very promiscuous. I had several casual flings. I even contracted chamydia twice in the past (of course I gotten taken care ofwith meds). Of course all this stop when we started dating. Now I'm sure my b/f had his times too b/c is hot. And sometimes his friends have accidental spills some details from is past. How I'm going to face is now. What do I tell the doctor when that part of the checkup comes up? What is going to be asked of me? Should I be honest. This is the one, Mr. Right. I don't him to freak out.

Last edited by aprille8; 01-04-2004 at 11:03 PM.

 
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Old 01-05-2004, 04:44 AM   #2
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Re: sharing the past history

Chances are, you will be in seperate rooms when you have your check up, so he will not hear you answer personal q's like how many partners have you had.

You have kept your pasts private so far, and if it really bothers you and you are starting afresh, and being faithful, there is no reason for him to know.It is a good idea to have std tests and both get the all clear.Then, if you are trying for a baby, you will know that you are both clean and healthy.

 
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Old 01-05-2004, 06:36 PM   #3
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Re: sharing the past history

I doubt the subject will come up at the doctor's. Whether you have had one partner or a hundred, you are still at risk for STDs, and the doctor will check you out the same. In other words, the doctor is not going to ask you how many partners you have had and then roll his eyes when you reply, and then decide to run a different set of tests because of your past. Again, you can get STDs whether you have sex one time or thousands of times with dozens of guys.

 
Old 01-05-2004, 08:46 PM   #4
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Re: sharing the past history

"What do I tell the doctor when that part of the checkup comes up?"

The truth?

My doctor typically asks me if I'm with the same partner since last time I had my pap smear (since you SHOULD BE HAVING YEARLY PAP SMEARS AHEM AHEM since you're sexually active) and if the answer is 'no' I get an STD swab. Story's over.

 
Old 01-14-2004, 07:40 PM   #5
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Re: sharing the past history

There is no need to tell each other anything. The doctor isnt going to ask you how many partners you had, etc. If you go for a physical including testing for STD's you will be checked the same way regardless of the number of partners you have had. Once you both know that neither one has an STD and you both limit your sexual partners to each other there is no further issue.

 
Old 01-15-2004, 05:09 AM   #6
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Re: sharing the past history

I feel that if "jokey questions" are being asked, then you both need to come clean with one another. If he loves you, it does not matter.

I married when I was in my early 30's, as was my wife. She had just under 100 partners, I have had 2. She grew up in a place where screwing was "just something you did". Wanna go to a movie? Wanna go to dinner? Wanna screw? I don't hold this against her in any way.

I know SHE wishes she had been less promiscuous, but.....that was her past. I love her for who she is now.

I just think items like that are time bombs waiting to go off. Get this issue off the table BEFORE the nuptuals.
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Old 01-15-2004, 09:39 AM   #7
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Re: sharing the past history

Before my wife and I were married, we both had an examination(we weren't asked how many partners), we also know that each of us dated, but decided that what went on was history, we can't change it, so forget it.
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Old 01-15-2004, 10:19 AM   #8
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Re: sharing the past history

Quote:
Originally Posted by chuckybrown
I feel that if "jokey questions" are being asked, then you both need to come clean with one another. If he loves you, it does not matter.

I just think items like that are time bombs waiting to go off. Get this issue off the table BEFORE the nuptuals.
That may be true, but if they have a mutual agreement not to share those details, then they should keep it to themselves. Even though they may love each other, and it "shouldn't" matter, you don't know how the guy may take it.

 
Old 01-15-2004, 11:38 AM   #9
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Re: sharing the past history

I agree with sdp. They've agreed not to share. They both know the other isn't a virgin. Any further information is the type of stuff that gets thrown back in your face in the heat of an argument. It only provides mental pictures to the other person that can get in the way at the worst times.

 
Old 01-15-2004, 11:42 AM   #10
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Re: sharing the past history

Mental pictures is right. My wife was more "experienced" than myself when we got married. She once made a casual comment about a sexual experience in a past relationship. It's something that I can't get out of my head and bugs the heck out of me. Leave the past where it belongs... in the past.

Last edited by sdp; 01-15-2004 at 11:45 AM.

 
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