I met a girl 2 years ago, fell in love and got married. Before we go married we talked a bit about past relationships, she said she was engaged once and had a couple of intimate relationships. I figured, no big deal, I was in love and we were married. Now, I just found out that Within the year before we met she slept with 4 guys, and that she started having sex at 12 and has slept with 29 guys! She is 26. Anyway, she lied to me about this. She told me things when we first met like, "I don't really like oral sex", I found out different from her best friend about that, and then when I asked her, she said it was no big deal, she only did that with 9 or 10 of the guys. She told me she ran a singles ad on aol and had mostly 1 night stands with these guys. Also, she told me she had 3 abortions getting preg. by 3 different guys. I have such a problem with all of this. Just meets these people, has sex, oral sex, and who knows what else. This is not the girl I thought she was. I fell in love with her and married her, but now, I am sick over this. She says she will never cheat on me, and believe it or not, this is not something I'm worried about. I just can't believe the things shes done. She even told me that in college she would just pick someone up at a party and ask them back to her dorm room for sex, not even noing this person, it was a contest with her friend to see how many guys they could do. I thought I was special to her, but now I don't know what to feel. Please give me some insite into this. I don't want to hear just forget about it, cuz I can't. Now I know why she didn't want me around her friends at all before we were married.
One question: How would you feel about one of your guy friends if he had the same history? I realize she is your wife but she must love you and is devoted to you because she married YOU !
I have actually two questions. How many partners have you had?
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How did you "find out"? Did she willingly share this info with you?
Why she would tell you this stuff is beyond me. Perhaps she needs your comforting to get over what she has done. 3 abortions has got to be a hurt that is unbearable.
Maybe she was searching for "love" and that is how she did it.
I understand your concern and I hope you can come to terms with it all.
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Married 1990
2 daughters, 7 & 12
Suffer from allergies & other aliments
Quit smoking June 3 2003
Will be 39 in Feb.
Scared to turn 40
One question: How would you feel about one of your guy friends if he had the same history? I realize she is your wife but she must love you and is devoted to you because she married YOU !
I have actually two questions. How many partners have you had?
How many partners have I had? None that she didn't know about before we were married! I was completely honest with her before I took my vows, I didn't hide anything from her. My biggest problem is that I found out from her "best friend" that she wasn't honest with me, and when I asked my wife aobut this stuff she was almost bragging about what she had done. She actualy told me she had NO regrets! Some crap about we would have never met if this hadn't happened to her in her past. What the hell does that mean?
I bet you or your friends have had alot of partners.. and besides, she has devoted herself to you, your the one that she wants to be with in sickness and in health right?... if you TRULY LOVE your wife then you will learn to put this behind you, have you talked to her about it?... maybe she feels dirty for what she did and your so consered with your problem about it you haven't even asked her. Remember she was young once and so was you. your both mature adults with a marriage now, try to leave it in the past because it's where it belongs and aslong as she isn't doing it now whats the problem???
Yes, we were both young and had partners, but I didn't lie to her about my past before we got married, she did. I can't understand why she is almost proud of what she has done. I also have friends that she works with now, and she talks about this, what shes done with other guys at work. She does this now, 2 years into our marriage. It sucks to have your friends telling you what your wife did with this guy and that guy when shes the one telling them. Like I said to another person that responded to me, she tells me she has no regrets! I can't figure this out.
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