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Old 02-11-2004, 08:56 PM   #1
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Not sure what to believe anymore

I'm not sure which board to post this on. My life has really been turned upside down this week and I like some outside input. Sorry if this is long. I have been with my current BF since Sept. 2003. Before him, I was with my husband ( now ex) for 10 years. When my boyfriend and I first decided to be intimate, I asked him if he has been tested for STD's including HIV. He said, in August he had urinating problems, had gone to the doctor. He said that they did STD/ HIV testing then, and everything had came up negative. I had had been tested earlier that summer also, and knew I was okay. We have been having unprotected sex since then. I decided to get a IUD in Nov.2003, and went in to get a consultation at my doctors office. They once again tested me for STD's. All negative. Well, my period would not coincide with doctors appts. ( they insert the IUD during your period) A few weeks ago, I decided to just go to Planned Parenthood to get it done because their scheduling hours were better. They wanted to do the STD testing all over again, eventhough I had all the testing done in Nov. They said it was standard proceedure. Well, I got a report back a few days ago that said I had Chlamydia! My BF and I have been in turmoil ever since. I know that I have not been with anyone else but him since I met him. He swears up and down that he has not even thought about being with anyone else since he met me. Quite frankly, we spend all our free time together, have a very active sex life, and been very happy together. I don't know when he'd have time to cheat. When I called the nurse and explained the situation, she said, " One of you has came in sexual contact with someone with Chlamydia since your last test ( Nov.) If it wasn't you, then I would have a serious talk with your BF, because it has to be him." I asked the nurse if my BF could of had it earlier than Nov.; like Sept. or Aug., but I hadn't actually contracted it until just receintly. She said ," No, you would of came up positive in Nov." My BF hasn't been able to get in to be tested yet. Since he's the only person I've been with, and I'm positive for Chlamydia, he must be also. We have been pointing fingers at each other, arguing , and crying over this. He truely seems like he is telling the truth, but facts lead to otherwise. He has always told me how much he loves me, gives me flowers and gifts. He's always seemed trustworthy and attentive. His friends say he has been the happiest ever since I met him. I'm not sure what to believe anymore. Am I a fool if I believe him and not the nurse?

 
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Old 02-12-2004, 12:22 AM   #2
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Re: Not sure what to believe anymore

I'd be sure he gets tested & I'd also make sure & get myself retested before going nuts with each other. You sound so sure about him if it weren't for this.

I don't know anything about the test or if it's 100% accurate, but you do have to allow for human error on occasion. For instance, would it be possible the test wasn't done right, the results got mixed up, etc? I don't even know if that's possible with that particular test, but I know I'd get a second opinion, especially under the circumstances....... he hasn't had time to cheat, you were recently tested with different results, etc.

I'd also make sure it's done by a different doctor in a different clinic.

Not to give false hope or anything, but if you were certain of the situation & the test made sure of it, you wouldn't be here asking, right?
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The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
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Old 02-12-2004, 05:12 AM   #3
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Re: Not sure what to believe anymore

I'd get retested by my regular doctor. All labs make mistakes. It would be a shame to throw away what you have over an error. Obviously he needs to be retested as well. Start there and cool off until the results come back.

 
Old 02-12-2004, 07:37 AM   #4
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If it's possible that there's been an error with this test, it's just as possible that the error could have occured with the other two test in this scenario. Maybe the error was with your previous test? Or with your bfs test? (that last one less likely because then your other test would have to be wrong too...).

Also, STDs are not always transmitted 100% of the time. Maybe it took a while for you to get it and then a while for it to show up. Has anyone told you how long it takes for Chlamydia to show up in a test? (e.g. HIV can take months.)

(BTW, did he ever tell you what his urination problem was, since it wasn't an std?)

 
Old 02-12-2004, 08:54 AM   #5
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Unhappy Re: Not sure what to believe anymore

I would get tested by your regular doctor and have him get tested too-problems with urination does sound like chlamydia-it very well could be that he had it but didn't know it-but it begs the question-what was the reason for his urinating problem-did he give you one?It doesn't automatically mean that he has cheated-there are other explanations-he could have had it and not passed it to you right away-or it could be that it just didn't show up on your test until now-but I would talk in confidence to your doctor and see what he says if your test comes back positive again--good luck I really hope things work out for you! the slayer

 
Old 02-12-2004, 07:36 PM   #6
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Re: Not sure what to believe anymore

Thanks for the responses. When my BF went to the doctor for the burning sensation when he urinated, they ran several tests. The tests included checking for STD's. When it came back negative they told him he was dehydrated and to drink more water. He said the pain went away after he upped his water intake. We do live in the desert, so it can happen. He did admit that about two weeks before he met me he had what he called " a random encounter" with a woman. He said that it was close to the time he went to the doctor. Since it can take up to 3 weeks to test positive, he could of had it then and showed negative. It still doesn't account for me showing negative on my test in Nov.. The nurse at Planned Parenthood said that if my BF had Chlamydia since I met him I would definately of showed positive on my tests in Nov.. I did do some research this morning and read a doctors published research report that some people shed chlamydial bacteria intermittently and give negative and positive results when they are infact positive. This is one doctors belief. I feel like I'm grasping at straws for a good answer to this.
I guess more will be revealed when he goes in next Wed. for his tests. When I went back to PP the other day, they didn't have time to retest me ( it's like getting a pap), and basically high pressured me to take the meds. right then, so I did. I have never had any symptoms, but that can happen.
My BF has been beside himself over this and worried that I'm going to break up with him. He keeps calling me at work, and clung on to me all last night, pleading that he hasn't and won't cheat on me. I still feel shocked, and stunned.

Last edited by desertdweller; 02-12-2004 at 07:38 PM.

 
Old 02-12-2004, 09:06 PM   #7
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Re: Not sure what to believe anymore

Men have a lot of false negatives when being tested for chlamydia because it is difficult to get a good sample of the discharge. As well, the urine test for chlamydia can also give false negatives in men. So there is a chance he has had this for months and passed it on to you unknowingly and has not cheated on you at all. If you have no reason to believe he has cheated, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.


Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSlayer
I would get tested by your regular doctor and have him get tested too-problems with urination does sound like chlamydia-it very well could be that he had it but didn't know it-but it begs the question-what was the reason for his urinating problem-did he give you one?It doesn't automatically mean that he has cheated-there are other explanations-he could have had it and not passed it to you right away-or it could be that it just didn't show up on your test until now-but I would talk in confidence to your doctor and see what he says if your test comes back positive again--good luck I really hope things work out for you! the slayer

 
Old 02-13-2004, 03:41 PM   #8
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Re: Not sure what to believe anymore

I think it's possible that you did'nt get it immediately. I say this, because back when I was in college, my boyfriend at the time called to tell me that he had it. I had'nt been with anyone else. Interesting though... my tests came back negative, and we had'nt used condoms. Then years later, I had another boyfriend, who called with the same news (honest, I really did have some nice boyfriends along the way folks) and again, I was tested and negative. Does he pull out a lot and use condoms? It may have just taken a long time for you to pick it up.

Another scenerio...even when your test comes back negative as in my case, the clinic will still make you take a run of antibiotics. This would tell me that there are errors with the test, or that there can be some kind of latent appearance of the STD...why else would they make you take it, regardless?

The only thing that would concern me, is how recently this urinary problem showed up. Usually, the urinary problem coincides with the contraction of chlamydia...it's not as if the urinary thing shows up months later...that's what prompts them to go get checked out.

jenna

 
Old 02-13-2004, 06:18 PM   #9
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Re: Not sure what to believe anymore

Thanks Jennak, for some encouraging news. As a matter of fact, my BF has never ejaculated inside of me, he has always pulled out. Could this be why it took me awhile to get it?
The urinary problem was just before I met him ( last Aug.), not receintly. If the problem was from Chlamydia, wouldn't his urinary thing have gotten worse? He doesn't have urinary problems now, and won't be treated for the Chlamydia until next Wed.

Last edited by desertdweller; 02-13-2004 at 06:21 PM.

 
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