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Old 02-15-2004, 12:53 PM   #1
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gaffe HB User
First Time

Ok...here it is. My and my gf decided to have sex and we had been plannin it for a while and then we got around to the night of having sex. We are both virgins. We have been together 6months and are totally at ease together. We come to the night of having sex and as a go to gentally place me penis in her she tells me its really painful. No surprise i imagine it would be , she tell me to carry out so we continue but she experiences really bad pain. so we stop. we try again a few times but seem to get stuck at the same place just entering the vagina wen its too painful for her again. She bled sligtly so we thought that perhaps the hymen has been broken. A few hours pass of cuddles and chats and she wants to try again to see if its still painful.....and it is, so we gave in. We spent more time together talking about it to make sure we are fine.

We kinda wondering what to do now...we both would love a good "sex life" in our relationship together its just where do we go from here because making my gf have so much pain cant be right - i really hated putting her through pain as i felt to blame, although i no i cant help the female body hehe. Some advice would be appreciated on how to make this less painful for her.

Thanx!

Last edited by gaffe; 06-07-2004 at 03:22 PM.

 
Old 02-15-2004, 01:01 PM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Murray, Utah,USA
Posts: 131
dollluvsjohn HB User
Re: First Time

Quote:
Originally Posted by gaffe
Ok...here it is. My and my gf decided to have sex and we had been plannin it for a while and then we got around to the night of having sex. We are both virgins. We have been together 6months and are totally at ease together. We come to the night of having sex and as a go to gentally place me penis in her she tells me its really painful. No surprise i imagine it would be , she tell me to carry out so we continue but she experiences really bad pain. so we stop. we try again a few times but seem to get stuck at the same place just entering the vagina wen its too painful for her again. She bled sligtly so we thought that perhaps the hymen has been broken. A few hours pass of cuddles and chats and she wants to try again to see if its still painful.....and it is, so we gave in. We spent more time together talking about it to make sure we are fine.

We kinda wondering what to do now...we both would love a good "sex life" in our relationship together its just where do we go from here because making my gf have so much pain cant be right - i really hated putting her through pain as i felt to blame, although i no i cant help the female body hehe. Some advice would be appreciated on how to make this less painful for her.

Thanx!

I would suggest using a lube of some kind and gently easing in with that. Also is was she wet when you started? If she is not wet enough that could be part of the pain as well. It also makes it alot harder to enter her.

try fingering her or giving her oral pleasure to help her get wet and to help in widening for the purpose. Just be aware that you may have to do this the first few times because a vagina does not stay completely stretched. Also if you both are comfortable with the idea try using a toy to help one that is the same size as you are usually works best because it prepares her for you.

Lastly I would say to make sure she is calm. If she is nervous and scared she will tighten her muscles there fore causing more pain!!


I hope this helps some
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Old 02-17-2004, 09:10 AM   #3
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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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ana_24 HB User
Re: First Time

This happened to me when I lost my virginity. We were also both virgins and it took 2 or 3 tries before we got it right. We didn't use any lube and that's probably why it didn't work. Try a waterbased lubricant and you shouldn't have a problem.

 
Old 02-17-2004, 09:23 AM   #4
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 18
genners HB User
Re: First Time

Wow - I remember my first time. It was PAINFUL!!!! It took five times of painful sex before it started feeling better (not great - better). Hang in there - it does take time, patience, understanding, and lots of love! But, boy buddy, is it ever worth it!!!

I recommend KY liquid that you can purchase at Krogers in the pharmacy section. Use lots of lube those first times - the more the better. If you have a "sex" store nearby, I highly recommend Eros, but it can be quite expensive - a small bottle costs about $13. Don't try to rush things as you can do damage - be very careful. I had a girlfriend whose boyfriend used small toys on her over the course of time - slowly buying bigger and bigger toys until it matched her boyfriend's size. He slowly "worked her up" so that they could make love. She said her first "real" time was great.

Make sure, of course, to practice safe sex. It may be a good idea as well, if the problem persists to contact a doctor in case she has some type of problem - too small of a vaginal opening - birth defects ... etc. I have heard cases where the women has physical deformities that needed to be remedied before being able to have sex.

Best of luck to you!!!

Genners


Quote:
Originally Posted by gaffe
Ok...here it is. My and my gf decided to have sex and we had been plannin it for a while and then we got around to the night of having sex. We are both virgins. We have been together 6months and are totally at ease together. We come to the night of having sex and as a go to gentally place me penis in her she tells me its really painful. No surprise i imagine it would be , she tell me to carry out so we continue but she experiences really bad pain. so we stop. we try again a few times but seem to get stuck at the same place just entering the vagina wen its too painful for her again. She bled sligtly so we thought that perhaps the hymen has been broken. A few hours pass of cuddles and chats and she wants to try again to see if its still painful.....and it is, so we gave in. We spent more time together talking about it to make sure we are fine.

We kinda wondering what to do now...we both would love a good "sex life" in our relationship together its just where do we go from here because making my gf have so much pain cant be right - i really hated putting her through pain as i felt to blame, although i no i cant help the female body hehe. Some advice would be appreciated on how to make this less painful for her.

Thanx!

 
Old 02-17-2004, 01:52 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 651
MrNice HB User
Re: First Time

Most likely her hymen is still not sufficiently stretched or torn to allow you to insert your penis fully into her vagina.

Some of the suggestions given to use plenty of lube and to make sure you fully arouse her before you attempt penetration are good ones.

You sound very considerate of her. It may take some time until her hymen tears sufficiently. If she remains in pain, however, I would suggest she consult her gyno. The gyno can determine if there is any problem. Sometimes women have inelastic hymens which are quite painful to penetrate. A simple surgical procedure can open the hymen so you can have intercourse without the pain.

 
Old 02-19-2004, 08:29 AM   #6
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 23
Bliss HB User
Re: First Time

The pain was lessened for me by having my guy finger me for a period of time before that night. I think it helped me sooo much.

 
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