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Old 02-15-2004, 09:28 PM   #1
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fuzzybagel HB User
Red face waiting for a reply!!!

In the past year and a half...my boyfriend and I have had over a hundred sexual encounters with only him ejaculating 4 times during sex. 4. He can only go if he masturbates himself...even blow jobs, or hand jobs don't work..he still has to finish, I am going crazy....I have tried everything under the sun, and we are going to be engaged soon....i don't want my sex life to be like this FOREVER!!! HELP ME!!!!!

 
Old 02-17-2004, 05:30 PM   #2
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Emma2 HB User
Re: waiting for a reply!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuzzybagel
In the past year and a half...my boyfriend and I have had over a hundred sexual encounters with only him ejaculating 4 times during sex. 4. He can only go if he masturbates himself...even blow jobs, or hand jobs don't work..he still has to finish, I am going crazy....I have tried everything under the sun, and we are going to be engaged soon....i don't want my sex life to be like this FOREVER!!! HELP ME!!!!!

Maybe see a sex therapist. Have you talked to him about this? What reason does he give?

I doubt it's you. Maybe he just can't let go, or is afraid of real intimacy.

I don't think you should marry him right now. If you're tired of it now, jus think about years from now.

Hopefully if you get to the root of the problem you'll be able to solve it.

~Emma

 
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Old 02-17-2004, 06:03 PM   #3
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Re: waiting for a reply!!!

Thank you for your help...unfortuantely I am in pursuing marriage and sex counseling..we have been together for so long though I doubt intimacy is the issue...after all, I was his first so our bond is very special...it's quite puzzling

 
Old 02-17-2004, 06:06 PM   #4
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Re: waiting for a reply!!!

That is puzzling. What does he say the reason is?

Emma

 
Old 02-17-2004, 06:08 PM   #5
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Re: waiting for a reply!!!

I have an idea. Post this on the men's message board. They can probably be of more help than me for the simple reason that they have penises

 
Old 02-17-2004, 06:13 PM   #6
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Re: waiting for a reply!!!

good idea, thank you!!! He has no idea but has not gone to the doctor...his best friend is in the same boat though...neither of them understand the scenario...it is very frustrating....

 
Old 02-18-2004, 04:23 AM   #7
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Re: waiting for a reply!!!

Did he used to be able to, or was he able to with women before he was with you, or is this a problem he's always had? If it's new it may be due to a subconsious fear of pregnancy since he knows he's going to be with you forever and I assume you're not both trying to get pregnant. It's also possible that every orgasm he's ever had was witht the same stroking motion of his own hand and he's conditioned to orgasm from only that exact sensation. If that's the case I would suggest he not allow himself to feel that sensation anymore and force himself to learn to live with other sensations. After a few weeks he'll adapt and learn to trigger orgasms through other means.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 02-18-2004 at 09:15 AM. Reason: Banned word replaced.

 
Old 02-18-2004, 07:39 PM   #8
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fuzzybagel HB User
Re: waiting for a reply!!!

Well, he was never with any other women, he was a virgin, so he's never known before about this, cause obviously it was him doing it and he could always go with himself.....I thought it was the pregnant thing, but he is more than eager to go without a condom...he is rather large so we can only get magnums which are thick and i am allergic to the pill so.....he has tryed abstaining from himself, and it still produces no result...he getts to the point but it doesn't finish...he has to himself or it just doesn't happen

 
Old 02-18-2004, 07:56 PM   #9
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Re: waiting for a reply!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuzzybagel
Well, he was never with any other women, he was a virgin, so he's never known before about this, cause obviously it was him doing it and he could always go with himself.....I thought it was the pregnant thing, but he is more than eager to go without a condom...he is rather large so we can only get magnums which are thick and i am allergic to the pill so.....he has tryed abstaining from himself, and it still produces no result...he getts to the point but it doesn't finish...he has to himself or it just doesn't happen
I'm starting to think it is the pregnancy thing. He probably hates the condom(which is why he's willing to go without), but subconsciosly is afraid to get you pregnant.

Can you get a diaphragm? You really should use something or you may get pregnant. I heard magnums are bad. I had a guy who used trojans large, and it was fine. I highly doubt your guy is bigger than this guy--he was big.
Try the lubricated trojan"s large.

~Emma

 
Old 02-18-2004, 07:59 PM   #10
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Re: waiting for a reply!!!

It's got to be a matter of physical sensation then. When he masturbates does he use a very firm grip or a looser one? Reason I ask is because with your hand you can squeeze way harder than a vagina can, maybe he's so used to a firm grip to finish with and it can't be duplicated in sex. Especially if he's been thrusting in you for more than 10 minutes or so, because then the sensitivity of the penis will lessen, and thus requiring even more force to generate the sensations to lead to orgasm. I still think he should force himself to practice finishing himself using grips and pressures WAY different than he's used to, and not allow himself to orgasm from whatever method he's been using for years. Given enough time he'll adapt to new sensations in order to finish.

 
Old 02-18-2004, 08:00 PM   #11
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Re: waiting for a reply!!!

he does hate the condom...diaphragm's hurt me....where i live, I never see trojan's large..just magnums...I don't know why...and the regular trojans cut off his circulation down there..it's perplexing

 
Old 02-18-2004, 08:04 PM   #12
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Re: waiting for a reply!!!

i think you are right...he does use a hard grip....although abstainance has never worked before, so i am not too sure...he will have to retrain himself.....thank you!

 
Old 02-19-2004, 10:01 AM   #13
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Re: waiting for a reply!!!

You have hit it on the head with that one! I would say that is problem is that since you have been his only partner - and you are not married, that he tended to masturbate a lot before your sexual relationship began. He has gotten used to it and will just have to "leave it alone" for a while and get used to different types of stimulation. It will take a while- but it will happen- I went through this with someone once.

 
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