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Old 02-26-2004, 10:06 PM   #1
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Question oral sex question....

hi. recently my boyfriend asked me if i wanted him to go down on me...i was unsure becuase i'd never had oral sex performed on me before..but i let him.. later on he asked if i ever want him to do that again and i said no (its nothing that he did wrong or anything..i just dont like it personally) and he said that thats ok. now he's asked me a few times to give him head but i really dont want to do that at this point, i feel really uncomfortable about it, never done it before.. i told him no, that i didnt want to and he says that thats ok; that its no big deal and that i never have to do anything that i dont want to do. my goodness, hes such a good guy!! i love him more than anything..but i feel soooo badd, i feel so guilty...i feel like i hurt his feelings; i feel like i owe him something now.. im sooo confused...what do i do??? should i talk to him? i dont quite know how to bring it up though... help!!!


-confused girl-

 
Old 02-27-2004, 05:04 AM   #2
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Re: oral sex question....

No reason to feel guilty or bad about this at all. Each of us has different likes and dislikes. The oral sex really did nothing for you and you're not interested in doing it for him. Sounds like he's a great guy who totally understands that you're not comfortable with that. Please don't let this bother you, you owe him nothing. If you'd like to discuss this further just bring up the conversation when the time feels right, discuss how you're feeling and let him know that it has nothing to do with him or anything he's done. I suspect he'll tell you to be quiet and forget about it. Many of us choose not to do things sexually that we really aren't into. And whatever you do...don't do this unless and until YOU want to....not out of guilt or feeling like you owe him oral sex....doesn't sound like he'd want it that way for sure.

 
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Old 02-27-2004, 07:27 AM   #3
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Re: oral sex question....

Quote:
Originally Posted by ber110
hi. recently my boyfriend asked me if i wanted him to go down on me...i was unsure becuase i'd never had oral sex performed on me before..but i let him.. later on he asked if i ever want him to do that again and i said no (its nothing that he did wrong or anything..i just dont like it personally) and he said that thats ok. now he's asked me a few times to give him head but i really dont want to do that at this point, i feel really uncomfortable about it, never done it before.. i told him no, that i didnt want to and he says that thats ok; that its no big deal and that i never have to do anything that i dont want to do. my goodness, hes such a good guy!! i love him more than anything..but i feel soooo badd, i feel so guilty...i feel like i hurt his feelings; i feel like i owe him something now.. im sooo confused...what do i do??? should i talk to him? i dont quite know how to bring it up though... help!!!


-confused girl-
If you "feel like you owe him something", try giving him the best intercourse you know how - maybe the best he has ever had.

 
Old 02-27-2004, 09:03 AM   #4
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Re: oral sex question....

GREAT Response, who woudln't enjoy that!

Last edited by Lance2; 02-27-2004 at 09:04 AM. Reason: mispelled word

 
Old 02-28-2004, 07:43 PM   #5
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Re: oral sex question....

If she is squemish about having oral sex, I highly doubt she is having intercourse yet!

 
Old 03-02-2004, 06:15 AM   #6
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Re: oral sex question....

ber110,

I think you need to be a bit flexible. If you do not like the particular position, you need to let go some times and if course you need to openly explain to your BF why you do not like this or that. Most sexually matured men and women love oral sex, and from what I understood from your post, your BF is one of them. There is nothing wrong in hating any position or act, but we need to be flexible. This is to retain your BF on the long run.


Thanks,

Small Cap

 
Old 03-02-2004, 08:00 AM   #7
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Re: oral sex question....

Don't put any pressure on yourself, he isn't, why should you?! In my 20's, I used to give guys oral because I thought I was suposed to. I would pretend I liked it on myself too, eventhough I really didn't care for it.Then for awhile I said " enough is enough, I don't want to do this anymore." So I decided to only do what I felt was okay with me.Now I'm well in my 30's, and I feel comfortable enough in my sexuality, and know what I want. Now I love giving a man oral. What I'm trying to say is, things can change, and maybe you will eventually like giving and receiving, but for now don't push yourself into doing it if you don't want to. Doing something you don't like can cause you to develope hang-ups about it later.

 
Old 03-02-2004, 08:54 AM   #8
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Re: oral sex question....

desertdweller put it quit well.

Many, many, many years ago when my wife and I were dating, she enjoyed receiving oral sex, but said she felt slightly uncomfortable with it. As far as giving oral, she had no desire to do so at all much like you. Over the years as we both become more comfortable with our own sexuality and each others, she has come to really enjoy giving as well as receiving oral.

So give your self a chance. Don't do anything you are uncomfortable with, but don't be surprised if over a period of time you slowly change. If you don't change, no big deal. You are who you are, and it sounds like your bf accepts and respects that.

 
Old 03-02-2004, 05:18 PM   #9
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Re: oral sex question....

Quote:
Originally Posted by ber110
hi. recently my boyfriend asked me if i wanted him to go down on me...i was unsure becuase i'd never had oral sex performed on me before..but i let him.. later on he asked if i ever want him to do that again and i said no (its nothing that he did wrong or anything..i just dont like it personally) and he said that thats ok. now he's asked me a few times to give him head but i really dont want to do that at this point, i feel really uncomfortable about it, never done it before.. i told him no, that i didnt want to and he says that thats ok; that its no big deal and that i never have to do anything that i dont want to do. my goodness, hes such a good guy!! i love him more than anything..but i feel soooo badd, i feel so guilty...i feel like i hurt his feelings; i feel like i owe him something now.. im sooo confused...what do i do??? should i talk to him? i dont quite know how to bring it up though... help!!!


-confused girl-
You should never do anything you don't want to do, and don't let anyone guilt you into doing it either. If it's something you really don't want to do, then don't do it. That goes for all areas of life, and not just sex.

A lot of women are anxious about their genitals. They consider them yucky and smelly. Part of the reason is that they aren't visible to us unless we use a mirror and go looking for them. Not to mention that "they bleed" every month.

The female genitalia have an ordour yes. But it's also natural, and it's highly intoxicating to a male. Some women's genitals smell very foul, yes. And that is largely due to untreated yeast infections or other infections that have not been treated, and is not the "norm".

A woman's sexual center isn't her vagina, it's her clitoris, which usually is neglected during vaginal intercourse. Many woman can't orgasm without clitorial stimulation, and many enjoy a man performing oral sex on them to get that orgasm.

Was it that you really didn't enjoy what he was doing to you, or were you very anxious about it? Were you worried that you smelled or tasted badly? Perhaps explore your genitals after a warm bath one day and smell and taste your own secretions. If you don't mind them, chances are neither will your boy friend.

It sounds like you are very young and just now exploring sex. Make sure you are doing it smartly and using condomns for protection if you are having intercourse. In time you may become more comfortable with your body and genitals that you will want him to try again, and you may surprise yourself and find yourself even enjoying it

Last edited by Katyana; 03-02-2004 at 05:19 PM.

 
Old 03-03-2004, 10:58 AM   #10
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Re: oral sex question....

Quote:
Originally Posted by kamilla
Maybelle i doubt that you're right there because i have a friend that doesn't like oral sex but she still has intercourse. so ner ner ner.hehe

There are many women who don't do oral but have intercourse... I am not arguing that... It is from the way she worded her post, very nieve and innocent like, and what she wrote about feelilng as if she had to owe him something... if she were having intercourse with him, chance are, she would not be feeling as guilty about it as she does. This is ofcourse, my guess.

Last edited by maybelle; 03-03-2004 at 11:01 AM.

 
Old 03-10-2004, 07:36 AM   #11
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lovethemusic HB User
Re: oral sex question....

Quote:
Originally Posted by ber110
hi. recently my boyfriend asked me if i wanted him to go down on me...i was unsure becuase i'd never had oral sex performed on me before..but i let him.. later on he asked if i ever want him to do that again and i said no (its nothing that he did wrong or anything..i just dont like it personally) and he said that thats ok. now he's asked me a few times to give him head but i really dont want to do that at this point, i feel really uncomfortable about it, never done it before.. i told him no, that i didnt want to and he says that thats ok; that its no big deal and that i never have to do anything that i dont want to do. my goodness, hes such a good guy!! i love him more than anything..but i feel soooo badd, i feel so guilty...i feel like i hurt his feelings; i feel like i owe him something now.. im sooo confused...what do i do??? should i talk to him? i dont quite know how to bring it up though... help!!!


-confused girl-
if i were you i would let him go down on you just one more time....try to be more relaxed....for most of us its the best feeling in the world~! as for you going down on him, dont do it if you cant stand it, then he will know you are not enjoying it and there fore it will be a bad experience for the both of you. a lot of guys love going down on women no matter what...so maybe if you decide to like it you will be lucky

 
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