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Old 03-12-2004, 10:35 PM   #1
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justme1212 HB User
Question worried about sex drive

ok here it goes
me and soon to be husband have been together for about 2 years. our sex life was always great. never had better. we use to have sex like at least 2 to 3 times a day and then about 6 months ago for some reason we started having sex less it was like maybe every 3 days then down to once a week and then down to like once every 2 weeks and now it is like once a month. he does work alot of hours but he has always worked alot. we have talked about this and he said that he kinda got in a rut and that nothing was wrong with us that i have not done anything to make him that way and he still loves to make love to me. and that was when we was at least having sex once a week but now with it down to once a month i just cant understand what is going on. is it norm for guys to have a high sex drive and then it just go down or should i be worried. i have no doult that he loves me just as i love him. i just dont understand why this would happen. and does it get any better over time.

 
Old 03-13-2004, 08:45 AM   #2
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Katyana HB User
Re: worried about sex drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by justme1212
ok here it goes
me and soon to be husband have been together for about 2 years. our sex life was always great. never had better. we use to have sex like at least 2 to 3 times a day and then about 6 months ago for some reason we started having sex less it was like maybe every 3 days then down to once a week and then down to like once every 2 weeks and now it is like once a month. he does work alot of hours but he has always worked alot. we have talked about this and he said that he kinda got in a rut and that nothing was wrong with us that i have not done anything to make him that way and he still loves to make love to me. and that was when we was at least having sex once a week but now with it down to once a month i just cant understand what is going on. is it norm for guys to have a high sex drive and then it just go down or should i be worried. i have no doult that he loves me just as i love him. i just dont understand why this would happen. and does it get any better over time.
Has he started to take any kind of medication during that time? Some medications decrease the sex drive in men.

Is he under alot of stress? Stress can have a huge affect on libideau.

Is he worried about the wedding? Having second thoughts or anxiety about losing his freedom? Living together is not as committed as being married, and sometimes the thought of being tied down legally to someone can be a terrifying concept and add stress and anxiety, which can affect the sex drive.

Is there a chance that he's having an affair? Or had one and is now feeling guilty over it?

 
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Old 03-13-2004, 09:10 AM   #3
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justme1212 HB User
Re: worried about sex drive

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katyana
Has he started to take any kind of medication during that time? Some medications decrease the sex drive in men.

Is he under alot of stress? Stress can have a huge affect on libideau.

Is he worried about the wedding? Having second thoughts or anxiety about losing his freedom? Living together is not as committed as being married, and sometimes the thought of being tied down legally to someone can be a terrifying concept and add stress and anxiety, which can affect the sex drive.

Is there a chance that he's having an affair? Or had one and is now feeling guilty over it?
ok no he is not on any kind of medication he is not under any more stress then norm he does work all the time but he has always worked alot and i just dont know if it would be cuz the wedding cuz we have never set a date for that and having an affair we talked about that and i just dont see so i just dont know i just cant understand how someone goes from having sex like 14 times a week down to once a month but thanks for your input i will keep it in mind

 
Old 03-14-2004, 07:04 AM   #4
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Smallcap HB User
Re: worried about sex drive

I believe work stress is reason. Leave it like this for the time being and try to go to a quick vacation or long weekend out side town. Then, start discussing this openly. My opinion it is not normal but workable. I been through this .. it is the long working hours with heavly lunch breaks and the stress of meeting dead lines and targert dates.. Good luck

 
Old 03-15-2004, 10:38 AM   #5
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MELYLOVE HB User
Re: worried about sex drive

Hi Justme1212 Let Me Tell U That, I Was Having The Same Problem But I Did't Let It Go That Far. Is That Sometimes U Need To Change The Rutine , Sometimes Marriage Get In To A Live Rutine And That Is Not Good.... Hey Girl Always Watch Your Back And Make Sure That Is Really Working Hours That U Can See It On The Pay Stubbs U Know What I Mean,.... And If Is Like That Hey Go And Find A Store And Buy Some Stuff And Make A Difference On The Sex Live... I Mean Some Jells , Some Sexy Clothes , Buy Some Crazy Stuff Is Just For U And Him And That What It Count And Care....
Dont Lost The Emotional Thinks To Have Sex With Your Man ......
Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
Old 03-15-2004, 10:50 AM   #6
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fisherwoman HB User
Re: worried about sex drive

I would hate to think he is having an affair,but it may be possible. But like other posters said,it might be stress or just boredom.Do you two ever do anything different or is sex always in the bedroom,always in "such and such" way? I don't know,even boredom doesn't keep most men down for a month at a time. Does he even turn down quickies? How old is he?

Last edited by fisherwoman; 03-15-2004 at 10:51 AM.

 
Old 03-17-2004, 05:31 AM   #7
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MELYLOVE HB User
Re: worried about sex drive

Hi Justme1212 Can You Please Let Us Know How Is Everything If Things Are Going Better .... We Want To Know If Our Subjections Help U In Something... Thanks Melylove

 
Old 03-26-2004, 06:05 PM   #8
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mt_girl HB User
Re: worried about sex drive

I just wanted to say I agree with the job stress... I went through the same thing still am, altho now after we have talked and talked about it we are back up to about every week or week and a half. I used to thinhk it was me or because i was heavy, he always said that it wasn't me, but i was afraid. Then i thought it was because he was cheating on me, and i went through a really really really severe depression, almost completely ruined the entire relationship. And as a matter of fact one night we were even contemplating callin it quits after 4 years. After that I come around, we talked and talked and i have changed, because i really don't want to lose him.. - back to the job thing.. i have noticed that when he changed sups he was more active, and when we are on vacation it the same way.. So atleast for me that is the problem i am pretty sure... hope that helped some... hugs, i know what your goin through...

 
Old 04-19-2005, 11:25 PM   #9
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justme1212 HB User
Re: worried about sex drive

things are still about the same i am to the point now that i dont need sex or want it anymore i found an herb that kills the sex drive. but other then the lack of sex everything is great in my life but i am at the point now that even if he wanted it i dont cuz it makes me want it more often then he will put out so i can just live without it and yes we have talked about it #'s of time and if he is ok without it then i am too now thanks for the advise and if anyone has anymore input then please feel free to send it my way

 
Old 04-20-2005, 08:25 AM   #10
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ana_27 HB User
Re: worried about sex drive

I am in the exact same situation as you. We moved in together about 2 months ago and the sex is now down to maybe once every two weeks. It's as much me as it is him... I guess the less you do it, the less you want it and the more you do it the more you want it. That's been my experience. So I promised myself that even if we're both tired I will initiate it more and try to get out of this rut.

 
Old 04-21-2005, 12:10 AM   #11
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chuckles915 HB User
Re: worried about sex drive

hey there justme - I have gone through this same situation with my hubby of 4 years now. I think that at first it happened because he switched careers, and so he was stressed....then we moved in together and it decreased even more, I think because he knew he didn't have to work as hard to get it....then we got married and he encountered some major back problems, that made a huge impact.....then I got pregnant...twice....and now, after 4 years of marriage our sex life is finally starting to pick back up again. Sometimes I think that life just throws curve balls at you and your relationship.....you just have to work at it and hope that it gets better, I know that in my experiences there were times when we went 2 or 3 months with nothing, and then we would have one night of passion, and go another 2 months....not to scare you, but as long as you know that he loves you and that you love him, I think that it is somewhat normal for there to be peaks and valleys in your sexual relationship....mine may not be the norm, due to medical issues and pregnancies.....but I know that so long as your love is there and alive, it should work itself out....especially since you are aware of the problem, it should be easier to fix, right?!? Good luck, and congrats on your engagement!

 
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