My husband has lost interest in sex - Sexual Health - General Message Board

Neve · 05-07-2004, 10:37 AM

I have been married for 4 years and my husband has no interest in having sex with me anymore.

He no longer shows any affection towards me.......only when he wants to have sex which is not often. I am always trying to show him affection but I turn out to be "bothering" him. So now I have stopped trying to go up to him and show him affection. He sometimes goes a whole week without kissing me.

When its time for bed he says hes not tired and stays up watching tv while I go to bed by myself. While I am in bed sleeping hes up watching adult tv. Sometimes hes up till 3am.

Then there is the computer ..........hes always downloading adult videos and visiting adults websites.

I do not know what to do. I feel very bad and not just because he no longer wants to have sex.........but there is no affection at all. A simple kiss......hug something.

fisherwoman · 05-07-2004, 04:18 PM

I really feel for you. In my personal opinion,I think he has a addiction to porn and it has become more satisfying to him than real sexual relations. I don't know every detail of your life,so I'm only going on what you have said,but I think he has a problem. Has anything else happened in the relationship? Did he turn to porn because of a problem in your relationship, or did he turn away from you because of porn? My guess is probally the latter,but only you know whats going on in your life. Even some of the people on here who think porn is just great will admit that when it becomes more important then real sex,then it is a problem. How you get him to talk about it calmly and honestly is another problem. Does he still say he loves you? Do you two do things together,or does he treat you like a roommate?

Bill Magic · 05-07-2004, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fisherwoman

I really feel for you. In my personal opinion,I think he has a addiction to porn and it has become more satisfying to him than real sexual relations. I don't know every detail of your life,so I'm only going on what you have said,but I think he has a problem. Has anything else happened in the relationship? Did he turn to porn because of a problem in your relationship, or did he turn away from you because of porn? My guess is probally the latter,but only you know whats going on in your life. Even some of the people on here who think porn is just great will admit that when it becomes more important then real sex,then it is a problem. How you get him to talk about it calmly and honestly is another problem. Does he still say he loves you? Do you two do things together,or does he treat you like a roommate?

Did he turn to porn because of a problem in your relationship, or did he turn away from you because of porn? My guess is probally the latter,but only you know whats going on in your life.<

My guess would be the former.. Lots of things shut down before the desire for sex. I'm guessing they lost intamacy awhile ago for whatever reasons and then they grew apart and other habits began to take hold.. I'ld suggest getting some counseling and seeing what it is that attracts the two of you to each other and try to rekindle it. If all is lost than I'ld move on if I were you..
But feelings have changed for some reason during your marriage..Might want to talk it out and try and find the root causes for these changes and see if they are reconcilable.

NatureGirl61 · 05-07-2004, 08:38 PM

First of all, please discuss your concerns with your husband. Try to get him to tell you the truth as to why you both aren't having sex as much as you would like to. If he refuses to discuss this further with you, you may want to seek marriage counseling. Have your husband go with you. Once again if he refuses, go by yourself.

I wish you lots of luck!

Teen_Question · 05-09-2004, 04:32 AM

Oh I am so sorry! You must be so sad. Make sure he isn't watching porn! Porn takes his interest of you and focuses it on *****s! So be aware. I would also tell you to seek marriage counceling...If that doesn't work....seek a divorce.