it meant"nothing" - Sexual Health - General Message Board

realguy · 05-25-2004, 04:07 PM

It mean"t " nothing " is the most convienient line a person can use, to explain why they had sex ,with someone they probably wish they didn"t or shouldn"t
have.
It always means something.Even if both people consented and were total strangers,your connected thru D.N.A..It shows you have the ability to seperate emotion from physical gratification.Try having a relationship with someone who can"t do that and see if it"s a sucessful one.
If it means "nothing " then would you move next door to them?

Magnetic · 05-25-2004, 06:25 PM

Huh? What is this all about?

zimnah · 05-25-2004, 07:00 PM

Okay, I'll admit I was a little confused..just a little, because I could relate to the statement, but was still looking for what it related to.
Maybe it didn't relate to anything. Not everything has to relate. But I did click on your screenname (please tell me this is not a nerdy little trick I've discovered...tell me everyone knew about this option...please!?!?!?!) and read some of your past posts. I did notice that they were all replies. And I noticed one you posted 5/18/04 that may relate to this a little..or at least have begun a thought process you were kind enough to share.
You're right. It's never "nothing." If nothing else, it is something to the person who finds out, much to their pain and regret. It also, if not before, is much more than "nothing" when they do find out. But even if they never know, you do I do not mean YOU, personally...just the figurative).
My ex-husband said she was "nothing," b ut she was another human being, withher own life and desires...we won't mention what else she had. With my current husband, while we were dating, we had a forced separation (the Navy can be so cruel), and a woman showed up on his barracks doorstep in nothing but a raincoat (very Casa Blanca, eh??). He'd been deprived of anti-depressants, sleep aids, and me. I eventually believed him (though I'm sorry to say I made his life a living you-know-what while I came to terms with it), and even came to understand it, knowing him as I do. He really did have two choices: another human, or the balcony and a six-storey jump. I'm glad he's alive. He did try to keep it from me, but his guilt was so huge that he put up with my raging for 2 straight years. When I began to shake and rage, he would grab me and hold me and tell me how sorry I was. Maybe I'm a bit of a sucker, but I've been with him for 12 years now, and we seem to know each other well.
Gee, that was too long. Sorry about that. But I do get it...I just got it the hard way.

realguy · 05-25-2004, 08:42 PM

It"s just a general statement{read 5 posts about cheating and flings that were nothing},it seems the easiest way to deal with a situation than explaining to a SO or
the person you had sex with[they might think it"s the beginning of a relationship}.
In a world of STD"s that can kill you or your present or future SO it seems to be a dangerous "nothing".
By the way,i didn"t know about the screen name option until now,thanks.

zimnah · 05-25-2004, 10:41 PM

no prob. You hit a nerve with me,a nd with so many others posting about the cheating thing, as you say, you'll probably tweak a few others. It needs to be said. As I stated earlier, if someone else is there, then that person is not "nothing." Maybe the idea was not pre-planned, and that makes it "nothing " of a real thought through idea, but that person was not nothing...that, I think, is what hurts me most of all...I am able to see the women my ex slept with as real people. My current husband's ex (whom we deal with often) is also a real person, in her own right. But so am I. So are you.
Okay, going into the "get real" speech, so stopping now. You did a good thing. Keep it up. :-)