I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. He ALWAYS urinates before having sex with me. I BELIEVE he's always done this, but now when I actually sit here and think about it, I'm not sure. Maybe I've just noticed it more in the past few months because we have sex in a different location, at his house now. Is this a common thing for men to do? I thought that maybe the reason he does it is because it's difficult to impossible to urinate with an erection, and obviously, after sex, he has a lingering erection. Could this be a reason? It's starting to bother me because I'm just getting into enjoying oral sex, and precum "turns me on" and when he gets back from urinating, the precum is gone. I know that my boyfriend gets a little grossed out by semen, even his own, so the only other thing I can think of is that it offends him or he thinks it will offend me. Suggestions, anyone?
Thanks,
Katalina
Last edited by Mod-S4; 06-22-2004 at 10:39 PM.
Reason: terminology
For me, it is very difficult to ejaculate when I need to urinate. I have heard that there is some sort of flap/valve type thing in the penis that opens and closes in the penis, when it is one way you can only urinate, and when it is another position you can only ejacualte. Like you said, it is also hard for a guy to urinate when he has an erection.
Based on personal experience, I know that the need to urinate prior to and during intercourse increases the endurance, but takes away from the overall sensation throughout sex and diminishes the intensity of the orgasm. He might be the same way? I prefer to urinate a bit before intercourse also, but not too close because of the same reason (diminished sensation).
If he does have a lingering erection, then it could well be that if he needs to urinate, it's not as easy with the erection as it would be prior; in addition, there will be a short while before he can urinate.
If you enjoy the precum, maybe explain it to him and ask if he could urinate a little earlier, prior to when you start foreplay, so that it works for both of you?
my dh does this too....i just always figured it was so he didnt have to stop during our lil episode and ruin the whole moment. I've never asked i guess lol, i am the same way cuz i've a weak bladder. I know he has said before that sometimes it hurts or is hard to pee afterwards...not all the time just once in a blue moon....dunno.
i also take a leak b4 sex... when i have to go to the bathroom, it's harder for me to enjoy sex... it's harder for me to get the erection... it's harder for me to keep the erection... and if i am having sex while i have to urinate, like Quock already brought up, it's almost impossible to orgasm... so it's best that i just get it outta the way b4 we start getting too heavily into things...
i also take a leak after sex... i think it's an evolution thing that has something to do with flushing out excess semen and any other possible things that could cause infections...
you could always get his pre-come going again after he goes to the bathroom, right?
Super Fluke,
No, I can't get his pre-*** flowing again, which really sucks. I guess, as Ubenier said, I should ask him to urinate a little while before we have sex instead of RIGHT before we have sex. He isn't one to excrete much pre-***, but is it "normal" that I cannot get him to excrete even a little bit more? He always has very hard erections and never loses them or anything, and I'd say he definitely has pretty good endurance in bed.
ubenier,
Interesting. For you, the need to urinate prior to and during intercourse increases the endurance? Hmnn, I wonder if it's like that for a large percentage of men. Also, when you said that you have a diminised sensation if you urinate too close to intercourse, I'm the same way, and I'm a female. For me personally, intercourse feels SO much better if I have to urinate, but, of course, it's not good for the bladder.
lostscout,
You asked when? Well, it's before things get really "hot", but I know the entire DAY before my boyfriend even touches me that he wants to have sex later, but that's not what you were asking. I'd say he urinates about 5 minutes or less before we start messing around at all.
I may not have had sex yet, but I've masturbated oodles of times...
I've found masturbation is tougher with a full bladder. An erection is more difficult to keep, and it's just not as much fun. I will urinate before masturbating if I feel any need to, but especially afterwards, when the urge is much greater. The stream can be a little erratic the second time but it feels good, and cleans me out too. (It is not difficult to urinate with a lingering erection.)
Perhaps just playing around with the penis can intensify any urge to urinate, kind of like when a doctor unexpectedly asks for a urine sample, and the man provides it, after a little manual encouragement.
I am a little confused though. Does he urinate after foreplay and before intercourse, or before foreplay even begins? If the precum is gone when he returns from the bathroom, how would you have known it was there at all, if you hadn't engaged in some foreplay earlier?
Super Fluke,
No, I can't get his pre-*** flowing again, which really sucks. I guess, as Ubenier said, I should ask him to urinate a little while before we have sex instead of RIGHT before we have sex. He isn't one to excrete much pre-***, but is it "normal" that I cannot get him to excrete even a little bit more? He always has very hard erections and never loses them or anything, and I'd say he definitely has pretty good endurance in bed.
sure, it's normal... he probly gets rid of most of it when he goes to the bathroom... you'd probly have to extend your 4play to get it back... and if everything else is normal then he's fine, and you're not doing anything wrong...
and something you might wanna look into, he probly doesn't need to use the bathroom prior to 4play... he probly only needs to go b4 you actually start the luv making... so you could ask him to hold off a few minutes so you can enjoy it... (but don't ask too much of him, 'cause the longer a guy holds in his urine, the sooner he'll have to go to the bathroom after just going... so if you make him hold it too long then he might have to go again during the sex)
I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years now. He ALWAYS urinates before having sex with me. I BELIEVE he's always done this, but now when I actually sit here and think about it, I'm not sure. Maybe I've just noticed it more in the past few months because we have sex in a different location, at his house now. Is this a common thing for men to do? I thought that maybe the reason he does it is because it's difficult to impossible to urinate with an erection, and obviously, after sex, he has a lingering erection. Could this be a reason? It's starting to bother me because I'm just getting into enjoying oral sex, and precum "turns me on" and when he gets back from urinating, the precum is gone. I know that my boyfriend gets a little grossed out by come, even his own, so the only other thing I can think of is that it offends him or he thinks it will offend me. Suggestions, anyone?
Thanks,
Katalina
Interesting comment regarding pre-***. I don't know why many men are repulsed by the prospect of tasting their own ejaculate. After all, it comes from our ouwn bodies and most of us expect or partners to enjoy tasting it. Many a time I perform oral sex on my significant-other, then have normal coitis and finish up with more oral sex immediately after I ejaculate. My partner has told me that is a real turn-on for her. I'd like to read how others, both men and women feel about it.
1. I wonder if he's using yohimbe or viagra. Both of them make me need to pee more, even more than caffeine does. First time I used yohimbe, I had to stop the pre-intercourse action twice, and I had gone right before we had started, too. I have learned not to have my typical glass of water in the evening, and that helps get rid of the urge.
2. When I have to go right before lovemaking, and I don't, I orgasm much too soon. Can't control it at all! But, I also think that going to the bathroom right after sex, and the erection has gone to half-mast, feels great!
Darkfur,
Thanks for the response: ) To clear up your confusion- I'm actually only ASSUMING that the precum is there before he urinates based on a few past experiences when he hasn't urinated before sex- there was precum present on those occassions. My boyfriend and I have a very "playful", I guess you'd say, sex life, so really, he urinates before foreplay and before intercourse. We get sexual before he urinates, but not to the point where we even engage in any foreplay yet. Also, that's interesting that it isn't difficult to urinate with a lingering erection after intercourse, but it's difficult to urinate with an erection before intercourse. Hmnn. I guess it's easier afterwards because the erection is going away.
~Katalina
Superfluke,
I'm definitely going to go with your suggestion of having him go after foreplay. Good idea Now that you mention it, if I think back to the times when he follows me to the bathroom to urinate after sex, each of those times I don't think he lasted as long as he usually does. Maybe he had to pee, and like you said, couldn't control ejaculating like he usually can.
~Katalina
Regarding the first thing? No, I highly doubt he's using yohimbe or Viagra because he's so terrified of pills of any kind, but he IS a MAJOR caffeine/coffee drinker. Coffee sends me running on many pee trips!
~Katalina
wordworks2001,
It is quite interesting how some are repulsed by their own ejaculate/bodily fluids. My boyfriend is grossed out by his semen and it wouldn't bother me that he's grossed out by it if it weren't for the after sex cuddling. Normally, he'll ejaculate on my stomach or breasts and even though I wipe it off, if he feels ANY bit of moisture when cuddling with me afterwards, he practically throws me off of him. He WILL kiss me after I perform oral sex on him, but that's as far as he goes. Personally, I don't think sex CAN be clean. Or, at least if it is, it isn't any fun! When you have sex, you get dirty and sweaty, and share saliva and bodily fluids and everything else, and that's what makes it intimate. I really have no problem tasting my own bodily fluids. Obviously, if my bf performs oral sex on me and then kisses me, I'm tasting it then, anyway!
~Katalina
Interesting. For you, the need to urinate prior to and during intercourse increases the endurance? Hmnn, I wonder if it's like that for a large percentage of men. Also, when you said that you have a diminised sensation if you urinate too close to intercourse, I'm the same way, and I'm a female. For me personally, intercourse feels SO much better if I have to urinate, but, of course, it's not good for the bladder.
Solstice,
What happens, if I can describe this better, is not so much pain from needing to urinate, but that the overall sensation (skin sensitivity) is diminished such that the process takes longer (to orgasm) and at the same time, the intensity of the orgrasm is lesser. It's not so much that intercourse feels better if I need to urinate...I would say moreso that as long as I don't need to urinate, and I didn't just urinate, then the chance is best for great orgasm intensity (for me).
Now, as for the full bladder, yes that can be painful for me also.
Why does he urinate before sex? 
but it feels good, and cleans me out too. (It is not difficult to urinate with a lingering erection.)
teehee
