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Old 10-06-2005, 12:58 AM   #1
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Oral sex dilemma

Here's the deal. My husband and I have oral sex regularly. I have no problem going down on him. The issue is he is too demanding. I was the first woman that was able to bring him to orgasm while giving him oral sex. He did not tell me it was about to happen then it did and I swallowed. It surprised me but I did not complain. I have a horrible gag reflex and swallowing or having him orgasm in my mouth is not going to work. I still give him oral but I take his penis out of my mouth when he orgasms. And he's complaining about this!! I always try to mix it up for him and try different things. The end result is the same so why does he have to pressure me to swallow it? Or take it all in my mouth? Can somebody please explain to me why my husband feels it is necessary for me to swallow when I can satisfy him in so many other ways? It is getting to the point where I don't want to do it anymore because I know I make him disapointed. Then I start to feel insecure because I am not pleasing him the way he really wants me to. I want it to be the best for him but also to be enjoyable for me.

Last edited by Gidget6923; 10-06-2005 at 06:49 PM.

 
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Old 10-06-2005, 07:00 AM   #2
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pinhead HB User
Re: Oral sex dilemma

Hell just have to learn that your gag reflex isnt going to change or try spitting.

Last edited by pinhead; 10-06-2005 at 07:01 AM.

 
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Old 10-06-2005, 12:49 PM   #3
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Re: Oral sex dilemma

If you have explained to him that it makes you gag and he still wants you to do this, I think he's being selfish and not very caring about you. When we are doing oral, I'll tell my wife when I'm about to "get off" and she finishes me with her hand. Why not suggest that to him?

 
Old 10-06-2005, 01:13 PM   #4
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Re: Oral sex dilemma

chomp down with your molars. he'll stop asking.

on a more serious note, you can explain how much it bothers you. tell him that you would never ask him to do something which caused him distress. if he keeps it up, he is just being selfish. I would no longer feel any guilt after that point.

on another route, should you choose to go that way, the gag reflex can be mastered. if you swallow when you start to gag, the gag reflex subsides and that awful choking feeling goes away. if his penis is past the mouth and down the throat, it is past where you can taste anything.

sounds like it might be a bit of a power trip on his part.

 
Old 10-06-2005, 06:48 PM   #5
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Re: Oral sex dilemma

I have done the whole thing where I finish him off with my hand but he looks so disapointed...like it's not as good as in my mouth. Oh well. I am just going to continue doing it the way I want and if he complains then I won't do it at all anymore. We'll see how long that lasts! lol.

 
Old 10-07-2005, 09:34 AM   #6
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Re: Oral sex dilemma

I agree with the person who said chomp down. I wouldn't do it hard but let him go in your mouth and as hes doing it chomp down hard enough to scare him a bit and then blame it on your gag reflex. Tell him it was either throw up or bite down and you didn't have much control at that point. I think he'll be too scared to let you try it again after that, just make sure you don't really hurt him, but enough that you scare the holy crap out of him.

 
Old 10-07-2005, 01:11 PM   #7
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Tell him that you enjoy pleasuring him orally but when it gets to him ejaculating in your mouth that it really puts you off and you don't like it. I know what you mean about the gag reflex, mine is BAD. I have to think and swallow hard and try not to puke. If he doesn't get it tell him that you will quit and that is that.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 10-10-2005 at 08:02 PM. Reason: Terminology.

 
Old 10-10-2005, 06:40 PM   #8
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Re: Oral sex dilemma

I think this thread illustrates one of the really bad influences of pornography in our society. Why would a man be so selfish? I think he's just a victim of all the extreme pornography that is so widespread now. Men start to only feel sexually excited when the women in their lives copy the extreme sexual behavior that's regularly shown in porn. What the hell is the big deal if the woman swallows or not? I feel a little guilty when my gf swallows, because I'm sure it doesn't taste the best (although I admit it's sexy as hell). I wonder if men would insist on this type of sillyness if they weren't so overexposed to extreme sexual behavior in pornography.

 
Old 10-10-2005, 07:14 PM   #9
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Re: Oral sex dilemma

Right on vespertine, I'm sure that that does play a big role in things. Porn can be very devastating to a relationship in many ways.

Have you talked to your hubby yet? Keep us posted...

 
Old 10-13-2005, 09:21 AM   #10
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Re: Oral sex dilemma

Your husband should respect the fact that you aren't comfortable with his ejaculating into your mouth and you swallowing the ejaculate. I assume it's the taste of the ejaculate that causes you to gag. Certainly you need to discuss this with him. What you might also try is masturbate him to orgasm and then have him taste his own semen...doing that, particularly having him taste it post orgasm when the excitement of sex has diminished temporarily at least, may help him understand that you dislike the taste.

 
Old 10-13-2005, 09:35 AM   #11
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sandra2005 HB User
Re: Oral sex dilemma

hi! sorry to say but your husband is v.selfish. he should be glad that he gets oral from you at all, as i know for a fact that ALOT of women wont do it at all, (maybe you should remind him of that)

You could try it with a condom

You can finish him with your hand

you can spit

there are plenty of options, and if he doesnt like any of them he can go without!!

i think i heard or read somewhere before that some men get upset when we dont swallow because it offends them, like we are spitting out there 'stuff' or something is quite offensive to some men,

dont knwo if that is true or not but like i say i think i heard that before.

 
Old 10-16-2005, 04:41 PM   #12
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Re: Oral sex dilemma

Hello. Thanks for the replies. I have shown my hubby the post and he is now embarrased. He said that he understands now and will not "push it". We satisfy eachother in so many other ways that it is silly for this one issue to get in the way. I am going to try the idea with the condom. I think thats a great compromise and I've seen many great flavors on the market. tee-hee.

 
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