20+ guys who haven't started yet. - Sexual Health - General Message Board

Van_27 · 11-24-2005, 10:15 PM

I'm almost 22, and I have never so much as held a girl's hand. The main reason for that is social anxiety, and I'm being treated for depression as well.

I don't like bars and clubs, I don't want to be promiscuous and I make my living in sports retail.

My question is essentially, where does a 20+ year-old guy with ZERO experience with the opposite sex get a start both in relationships and sex? I feel so inadequate.

Divation · 11-25-2005, 02:17 PM

Don't feel inadequate! My boyfriend was 20 when I met him and he never had a girlfriend in his life. He kissed a girl once in 9th grade, but that was it. And me, I kissed maybe a handful of guys before him, but was very unexperienced with EVERYTHING else. Just like him.

Just don't worry about it so much. If you find the right girl, she won't care at all.

Magnetic · 11-25-2005, 02:20 PM

Take a college class. Find a church that has women similiar in age to yours. Let it be known with friends and coworkers that you are looking. Try computer dating. Join a singles club. Ask other other young adults where they go to hang out and meet people. Read some books on how to get over social anxiety. Realize that about the absolute worst thing that can happen in trying to meet a girl is that she will say no. If so, try someone else. I know, easy to say, but not so easy to do. The longer you keep waiting, the harder it will continue to be.

Chriznat25 · 11-25-2005, 03:21 PM

A lot of girls would probably LOVE to find an inexperienced guy and show him the ropes the way "they want".

I cant help you with anything else on this post, im a gay male and never went to "3rd base" with a girl though I did make it to 2nd!

LOL

orion · 11-26-2005, 12:02 AM

Definitely a church group, a choir, volunteer at a local political organization or a food bank, college night course, pretty much anything to get out of the hosue and meet people. Remember to always go for coffee or ask people to go for coffee. I believe the world works because of coffee breaks.

I assume you are a bit shy so maybe take an some training sessions for shy people becuase its a lot harder to meet people if you can't let them know you are interested in them as people.

Remember you only live once, so make it good.