Abbycakes

Hi,
This is a long story, so I'll try to make it sure...my problem stems from the fact that I can't keep my husband sexually happy, and our marriage is crumbling to pieces because it's all "my fault."

A brief history: We've been married for 12 years and have two young children, 7 and 3. We started our relationship having sex 24/7. Of course, when children and full-time careers come along, everything changes. However, we currently have sex about 5-6 times per week (I would be fine with 2-3 times due to my energy level, which is zero!).

My husband has a strong sexual drive, so strong I have caught him on porn sight masturbating several times--the first time I caught him was the night I had to go to the store around 10 pm to buy yeast infection medication due to a terrible infection--apparently since he wasn't going to get sex from me, he was going to get it from a cyber-babe. I know he still goes on because he has shown me this cyle for a long time now--if I don't feel like it, or if I have an infection, he gets out of bed and goes straight upstairs for long periods of time at night. I'm no dumby, and I've told him this!

OK, for the current situation. About a year ago, I started waking up with some strange gooey substance between my legs; in fact, I shared this with my husband thinking something was wrong with me. He had no clue what it could be. HA! About 5-6 months later, I awoke to find him basically having sex with me, without me knowing it--boy, did I feel disrespected. I told him to knock it off, because if I'm not awake, he has no right to do this to my body. Gee, now I know where the funny goo was coming from!

Anyway, I've had to kick him off several times since then, and last week was it...I yelled at him and went to the spare bed. We didn't talk for three days, and then finally he says to me (as I'm on my way out the door to work, no less) that he won't be here that night because he's moving out--what the ???? I begged and pleaded for him not to, and even came home early to talk it out because I was so distraught and couldn't work...we worked things out, alright--it ended up with make-up sex, but he seemed so sorry and apologetic...boy, was I wrong.

So, last night, he tries it again! I told him to stop, and asked him why he keeps doing this when he knows I don't like it. I also told him if he's that horny, he can just wake me up. I was very calm, and I felt, very level-headed. He didn't talk at all, and guess what? After about 20 minutes of silence, went up stairs!

I am beside myself...here is a man I love so much, treats me well for the most part, is a personable man to everyone, and loves his children dearly. Why is he treating me like this? Why can't he understand that this hurts me, emotionally? I have cried and cried and cried, and just don't know what to do. Any thoughts, comments, or advice is greatly welcome...
Abbycakes