I am ashamed and feel downright guilty. My girlfriend went out shopping with her friend ... forgot her purse with her wallet. Long story short she caught me with my pants down in front of my computer. Yes I know I should have hid my private masturbation better but it was kind of spur of the moment if you know what i mean,and I also thought I had a few hours. We have dated for a year and a half and moved in together about 5 months ago. I know she is insecure about her looks (even though she is downright gorgeous). She became extremely upset, almost violent, stormed out and drove 2 hours to her parents house for the weekend. But she says it is over, she doesn't want to date a pervert and I am a liar for saying I don't look at porn. One time she found pornographic videos on my computer, I told her I would delete them and not watch it again. I don't know I couldn't help it, she was on her period and we hadn't sex in awhile ... I needed to release. Yes she satisfies me, but sometimes I just want more. Am I the worst boyfriend in the world? What should I do? Will she never talk to me again? Masturbation is normal ... this is embarrasing as hell to me but I could be doing worse things. What do you think?
She is overreacting. Guys masturbate. Hell, women masturbate. I came home the other day and noticed there was lube sitting on the coffee table and my fiance was like "I just kind of felt like masturbating." I'm sure that is embarrassing to you but it is normal and you shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed.
Yes I feel she is overeacting a bit as well. I forgot to mention she and her family
are also very strict Catholics. I also forgot to mention she has a vibrator herself! I mentioned that after the encounter and she said that is not the point, the vibrator has gathered dust because she doesn't need it, just like I shouldn't need porn. She also says that the fact that I lied about not doing it again. I think she tries to control my actions. Maybe this is an oppurtunity to get out of an unhealthy relationship, as it has gone downhill a bit anyways the past few months.
This reminds me of a funny story from a few years ago, when I was with my ex. We rented a movie one night and as it began, my ex told me he was really excited because his favorite actress was in it and she was supposed to have a hot love scene. When we got to the scene, I started flipping out before any clothes even came off. Seriously, I freaked. I was crying, I was so upset. I was so hurt that not only did he lust after this actress, he was going to get to see her naked and having (or well, simulating, sex). Man, I went on and ON about how it was disgusting to see people naked in movies, it was wrong, anyone who would take their clothes off like that must have something wrong with them, they're sick, slutty, etc. Totally ticked my ex off and ruined the whole night.
And then what did I do once he was gone? Oh, I popped that movie back in my VCR and me and my vibrator must have watched that "dirty, disgusting" sex scene a good 15 times before the movie had to go back to the video store *ROTFL*
Seriously, girls can be such hypocrites sometimes.
It's true that you shouldn't have lied, but it's also true that she shouldn't try to tell you what to do. Some people have a lot more sexual energy and need more release. Your girlfriend evidently doesn't understand that. I have a boyfriend and a friend with benefits and I still cherish my solo sessions.
If you are thinking that the relationship isn't worth salvaging anyway, then maybe this is a dealbreaker. Because either she'd have to accept that you look at porn or else you'd have to swear off of it for life. Either way, one of you is going to end up resentful.
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The grass is always greener on the other side...until you get closer and see that it's astroturf~
Yes I had somewhat similar experience one time earlier this year on the hit show "entourage". One of the storylines was one of the guy characters was getting a 3some with 2 hot girls. She got so ****** that I continued to watch this and did not change the channel. Are all girls like this? Does she have self-image problems? Insecure?
I don't know. I can say right now that yeah I can live without her and things will be fine, but tomorrow or maybe even an hour from now I will be sobbing without her and thus realizing how much I love her and need her in my life.
When I am single I am lonely and depressed .... when I am in a serious relationship I always wonder what else is out there ....
But at the same time, i'd rather my boyfriend masturbating over me than over someone on the net. I'd say her reaction to you masturbating wouldn't have been half as bad if you hadn't been looking at the porn (naturally). This is probably due to her own self esteem issues.
I think, if you get a chance (or choose to) give the relationship another shot... you should express to her how masturbating needn't always be dirty and you can incorporate it into your sex life together. Mutual masturbation is always a good start!
My solution to my boyfriend masturbating over porn... is to make our own porn! It doesn't sound like your girlfriend would be the type, but you never know. A sexy video together might give the sexual confidence she needs to not be so uptight.
And then what did I do once he was gone? Oh, I popped that movie back in my VCR and me and my vibrator must have watched that "dirty, disgusting" sex scene a good 15 times before the movie had to go back to the video store *ROTFL*
GA, i'm just left with one nagging question, what was the movie??? hahahahaha
I think the world would be a happier place if people realized that masturbation is not perverted and does not take the place of one's partner. Sometimes, you just feel like doin' it when the other person doesn't/isn't there/whatever! What makes it such a slap in the face? Unless someone is choosing masturbation/porn over their s.o., I think people as a whole would be a whole lot happier if we just accepted it as the norm!
masturbating "in front of your computer" is different from masturbating using mind fantasies. The fact that there is a "woman" or a "rival" that make you feel sexually satisfied will make her feel insecure or angry. Also, guys normally masturbate when they are single? maybe I am wrong
I agree with you Nina. It's not so much that they masturbate, that is totally normal. It's the fact that they are looking other womens bodies for stimulation. That sucks. You could be the most perfect, beautiful woman in the world and still feel a little threatened by it.
I can understand her getting angry at first but jeez...she's way overreacting and then to call you a pervert?...tell her "good luck finding a man that's not a pervert!" Ha!!!!!!!! If that's really the way she thinks...you're better off without that!
I agree with you Nina. It's not so much that they masturbate, that is totally normal. It's the fact that they are looking other womens bodies for stimulation. That sucks. You could be the most perfect, beautiful woman in the world and still feel a little threatened by it.
I'm sorry, but that doesn't make any sense.
You can use your own imagination sometimes, but personally most times I need images or something in front of me to get off. Your own mind gets redundant and old very quickly.
Then a visual simulation should be her. That is partly what relationships are about: sexual gratification. What about her masturbating in front of her computer? Would that be ok with you?
Also I don't think it is fair that you do it on your own when she might wanted to have spent the night having her own satisfaction with you!!!
It would personally turn me off, the scene of my bf taking off his undepants to masturbate staring at naked fools.
I guess it's the fact I lied. She had seen porn on my computer before (back when I lived with 2 other college guy roomates and my computer was the house computer) I mean come on what do you expect. But anyways I told her I would delete it all and not look at it again ever. This went on for awhile but you know impulses and what not catch up with me. Also a little bit of bad luck as well for getting caught in the moment. Why can't she catch me .... then take over sexually and tell me I don't need that porn? That would be hot. I guess I can't have it all. I would choose real sex with her over porn anyday ... but she isn't always in the mood and I usually am. I wish this situation would just cause her to pick on me and laugh about it .... embarass me a bit about it. Not cause this whole dramatic deal that I don't love her and blah blah. Now she thinks I lie to her all the time. Anymore thoughts?
If I came home and she was masturbating in front of the computer... I would be sooo turned on! Because I know looking at someone on the computer is not real it is just fantasy. Masturbation is safe and healthy. It may help us get through the day, or release some tension. I am not looking at another woman wishing I was with her or any of that nonsense. It's only to help stimulate and let my mind wonder.
Nina do you really think that by this guy rubbing one out he is being unfair to his girlfriend.
no-one can tell you how and when you masturbate. that is insane... whats next? oh it was unfair that he took a leak cause she may have wanted him to pee on her?
