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Old 09-22-2006, 05:11 PM   #1
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She caught me masturbating...

I am ashamed and feel downright guilty. My girlfriend went out shopping with her friend ... forgot her purse with her wallet. Long story short she caught me with my pants down in front of my computer. Yes I know I should have hid my private masturbation better but it was kind of spur of the moment if you know what i mean,and I also thought I had a few hours. We have dated for a year and a half and moved in together about 5 months ago. I know she is insecure about her looks (even though she is downright gorgeous). She became extremely upset, almost violent, stormed out and drove 2 hours to her parents house for the weekend. But she says it is over, she doesn't want to date a pervert and I am a liar for saying I don't look at porn. One time she found pornographic videos on my computer, I told her I would delete them and not watch it again. I don't know I couldn't help it, she was on her period and we hadn't sex in awhile ... I needed to release. Yes she satisfies me, but sometimes I just want more. Am I the worst boyfriend in the world? What should I do? Will she never talk to me again? Masturbation is normal ... this is embarrasing as hell to me but I could be doing worse things. What do you think?

 
Old 09-22-2006, 05:28 PM   #2
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Re: She caught me masturbating...

She is overreacting. Guys masturbate. Hell, women masturbate. I came home the other day and noticed there was lube sitting on the coffee table and my fiance was like "I just kind of felt like masturbating." I'm sure that is embarrassing to you but it is normal and you shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 07-08-2007 at 06:59 PM.

 
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Old 09-22-2006, 05:46 PM   #3
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Re: She caught me masturbating...

Yes I feel she is overeacting a bit as well. I forgot to mention she and her family
are also very strict Catholics. I also forgot to mention she has a vibrator herself! I mentioned that after the encounter and she said that is not the point, the vibrator has gathered dust because she doesn't need it, just like I shouldn't need porn. She also says that the fact that I lied about not doing it again. I think she tries to control my actions. Maybe this is an oppurtunity to get out of an unhealthy relationship, as it has gone downhill a bit anyways the past few months.

 
Old 09-22-2006, 06:07 PM   #4
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Re: She caught me masturbating...

Guys do masterbate and that's normal, but you lied to her about the porn. That is your problem, the lie, not the masterbation.

 
Old 09-22-2006, 06:13 PM   #5
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Re: She caught me masturbating...

you're right .....

so what do i do?

 
Old 09-22-2006, 06:15 PM   #6
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Re: She caught me masturbating...

but masturbating and porn are basically the same thing ... i mean i know i can't masturbate without it.

 
Old 09-22-2006, 06:16 PM   #7
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Re: She caught me masturbating...

This reminds me of a funny story from a few years ago, when I was with my ex. We rented a movie one night and as it began, my ex told me he was really excited because his favorite actress was in it and she was supposed to have a hot love scene. When we got to the scene, I started flipping out before any clothes even came off. Seriously, I freaked. I was crying, I was so upset. I was so hurt that not only did he lust after this actress, he was going to get to see her naked and having (or well, simulating, sex). Man, I went on and ON about how it was disgusting to see people naked in movies, it was wrong, anyone who would take their clothes off like that must have something wrong with them, they're sick, slutty, etc. Totally ticked my ex off and ruined the whole night.

And then what did I do once he was gone? Oh, I popped that movie back in my VCR and me and my vibrator must have watched that "dirty, disgusting" sex scene a good 15 times before the movie had to go back to the video store *ROTFL*

Seriously, girls can be such hypocrites sometimes.

It's true that you shouldn't have lied, but it's also true that she shouldn't try to tell you what to do. Some people have a lot more sexual energy and need more release. Your girlfriend evidently doesn't understand that. I have a boyfriend and a friend with benefits and I still cherish my solo sessions.

If you are thinking that the relationship isn't worth salvaging anyway, then maybe this is a dealbreaker. Because either she'd have to accept that you look at porn or else you'd have to swear off of it for life. Either way, one of you is going to end up resentful.
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Old 09-22-2006, 06:31 PM   #8
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Re: She caught me masturbating...

Yes I had somewhat similar experience one time earlier this year on the hit show "entourage". One of the storylines was one of the guy characters was getting a 3some with 2 hot girls. She got so ****** that I continued to watch this and did not change the channel. Are all girls like this? Does she have self-image problems? Insecure?

I don't know. I can say right now that yeah I can live without her and things will be fine, but tomorrow or maybe even an hour from now I will be sobbing without her and thus realizing how much I love her and need her in my life.

When I am single I am lonely and depressed .... when I am in a serious relationship I always wonder what else is out there ....

 
Old 09-22-2006, 11:15 PM   #9
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Re: She caught me masturbating...

I'm a woman and I love porn!

But at the same time, i'd rather my boyfriend masturbating over me than over someone on the net. I'd say her reaction to you masturbating wouldn't have been half as bad if you hadn't been looking at the porn (naturally). This is probably due to her own self esteem issues.

I think, if you get a chance (or choose to) give the relationship another shot... you should express to her how masturbating needn't always be dirty and you can incorporate it into your sex life together. Mutual masturbation is always a good start!

My solution to my boyfriend masturbating over porn... is to make our own porn! It doesn't sound like your girlfriend would be the type, but you never know. A sexy video together might give the sexual confidence she needs to not be so uptight.

Good luck!

 
Old 09-22-2006, 11:35 PM   #10
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Re: She caught me masturbating...

Quote:
Originally Posted by GypsyArcher

And then what did I do once he was gone? Oh, I popped that movie back in my VCR and me and my vibrator must have watched that "dirty, disgusting" sex scene a good 15 times before the movie had to go back to the video store *ROTFL*
GA, i'm just left with one nagging question, what was the movie??? hahahahaha

I think the world would be a happier place if people realized that masturbation is not perverted and does not take the place of one's partner. Sometimes, you just feel like doin' it when the other person doesn't/isn't there/whatever! What makes it such a slap in the face? Unless someone is choosing masturbation/porn over their s.o., I think people as a whole would be a whole lot happier if we just accepted it as the norm!

 
Old 09-23-2006, 07:14 AM   #11
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Re: She caught me masturbating...

masturbating "in front of your computer" is different from masturbating using mind fantasies. The fact that there is a "woman" or a "rival" that make you feel sexually satisfied will make her feel insecure or angry. Also, guys normally masturbate when they are single? maybe I am wrong

 
Old 09-23-2006, 07:26 AM   #12
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Re: She caught me masturbating...

I agree with you Nina. It's not so much that they masturbate, that is totally normal. It's the fact that they are looking other womens bodies for stimulation. That sucks. You could be the most perfect, beautiful woman in the world and still feel a little threatened by it.

 
Old 09-23-2006, 08:58 AM   #13
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Re: She caught me masturbating...

dude... your girlfriend is crazy and trying to control you. if she is that insecure your life is going to be miserable.

 
Old 09-23-2006, 09:08 AM   #14
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Re: She caught me masturbating...

I can understand her getting angry at first but jeez...she's way overreacting and then to call you a pervert?...tell her "good luck finding a man that's not a pervert!" Ha!!!!!!!! If that's really the way she thinks...you're better off without that!
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Old 09-23-2006, 09:22 AM   #15
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Re: She caught me masturbating...

Quote:
Originally Posted by mo2willow
I agree with you Nina. It's not so much that they masturbate, that is totally normal. It's the fact that they are looking other womens bodies for stimulation. That sucks. You could be the most perfect, beautiful woman in the world and still feel a little threatened by it.
I'm sorry, but that doesn't make any sense.

You can use your own imagination sometimes, but personally most times I need images or something in front of me to get off. Your own mind gets redundant and old very quickly.

She's over-reacting, by far.

 
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