Question about Masterbation?? - Sexual Health - General Message Board

MsFireDragon · 10-08-2006, 05:07 PM

I have been married for almost 6 years now and although I don't have an over active sex drive, my husband and I do have really good sex. My husband masterbates and so do I, that was never a concern for me. We try new things and we definately try to keep it interesting. But here is my concern...

Some times (more than once but definately not everynight) I will wake up in the middle of the night because my husband starts talking and moving and when I roll over he is masterbating IN HIS SLEEP and trusting and talking in a way that he never talks during our sex. I am not sure what to make of this and I can't find anything on the web about this subject.

My husband does have an extremely high sex drive and I have a very low sex drive. So I try really hard to remember that he needs attention and I really try to keep it exciting for him too. We have toys and I have certain things to wear that he likes and he really likes hentai (japanese porn) so we watch that together and have sex during it. I am just concerned and probably overly paranoid that he is doing this in his sleep because he isn't as interested in me anymore. Plus it makes it hard to get a good nights sleep. Any help or advise would be great.

Thanks!
Jedi

tommy124 · 10-09-2006, 01:47 PM

This sounds exactly like a sleep disorder, called REM disorder. It may be a hard sell to get him to a sleep clinic, but they are the folks to diagnose this.

Roughly, it means that while you are dreaming, your body is not paralyzed, like most people.

I have it. It is normally not a problem, but can become one. The sleep neurologists take it very seriously. One time, and only one time, I dreamed I was fighting with a former friend, and it kept escalating. When I woke up to my wife's screams, I had punched her in the head. Consequently, it should be taken seriously. The two doctors said that I could be a danger to myself, such as falling down stairs, as well as a danger to my wife. I'm on meds which stop this from happening now.

MsFireDragon · 10-10-2006, 06:17 PM

Thanks Tommy124! After reading your post I did a search about REM Disorder and it does sound exactly like my husband. And also after reading your post it hit me, last year we went through 2 weeks where my husband would slap or pinch or hit me when he was sleeping. He wouldn't even know what was happening until I would yell at him to stop hitting me and wake him up. But I never put two and two together with the masterbation. I talked to my husband last night and surprisingly he was willing to go to a sleep clinic to find out if that is his problem. Also I contacted the sleep clinic that is closest to us and they said they would send him some pamphlets about parasomnia (which REM disorder and another disorder called Sleep Sex fall under)... So again thank you so much for you help! I feel much better now knowing he isn't the only person that this has happened to!

Thanks Again!
Jedi

Lou_23 · 01-31-2007, 07:41 AM

Oh hunnie my BF masterbates in his sleep to! I couldn't figure out what he was doing at first but when I realised believe me I found it quite amusing. We joke about it now, I call him the midnight masterbater or the night wacker lol. Its actually interesting that I found this post because he has told me stories about when he was on tour (he's in the military) he would have dreams that he was in action and thrash and kick and throw punches. He even told me that one time he woke up to someone pulling him off one of his platoon members, he'd had his hands wraped around his throaght. Scary......Ever since he's come back home its never happened again except for the masterbation. I did ask if he ever went to get help for it but he said he was to imbarrased. I don't blame him but if it gets worse I defenetly will tell him he needs to go. Good luck with your night hawk!

hairier yet.. · 01-31-2007, 08:42 AM

Everyone's entitled to their opinion, but the experience I've had with porn is it creates extreme, ravenous desires probably more so with men. If I had to bet, your husband is dreaming and fantasizing in his sleep over the highly erotic and explicit images he's seen in the porn. Be careful with porn. A desire could be created that could only be satisfied outside of the marriage. I'm not accusinig your husband, but do be careful with porn. It's destroyed a lot of homes and marriages.

-h