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Old 12-15-2006, 05:44 AM   #1
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Question Sexually Confused

I am a 21 year old male in college. I have been thinking alot about my sexuality and am confused as to whats wrong with me.

I am not gay or have any desire to be with another guy. I am attracted to girls but have no desire to pursue any intimate relationships with them. Can I not be gay and also not want to be with a girl either?

I am just really confused. I should be sexually active and have lots of desire, not the opposite.

Last edited by Dang12; 12-15-2006 at 05:50 AM.

 
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Old 12-15-2006, 08:27 AM   #2
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Re: Sexually Confused

Well, I would suspect that there are other issues going on here and you probably need to slow down and begin examining them. First, of all I think it is a misnomer to assume that you should be sexually active with lots of desire. Sometimes men get caught up in what they think they should be doing and not what their heart is guiding them to do.

You need to consider how the rest of your social life is going. DO you have friends, male or female? Do you have women who are friends and with whom you enjoy hanging out with? Have you been sexually active in the past? What is your sexual history? Do you think that you just haven't met the person with whom you want to be intimate? I mean, having sex just for the sake of having sex can be pretty demeaning despite what TV advertising, MTV, and movies tell us. However, sometimes sex just for the sake of having sex can also be fun.

Do you think about sex? What turns you on? Do you masturbate? Etc. Etc. ETc. As you can see, the question you're proposing has so many layers that it just cannot be quickly and simply answered.

As for sex with guys? I don't think that you lack of desire for women precludes or even implies a desire for guys.

 
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Old 12-15-2006, 10:43 AM   #3
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Re: Sexually Confused

There are people who are not attracted to either sex. They are, in effect, asexual. It is perfectly normal, for them.

 
Old 12-15-2006, 01:40 PM   #4
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Re: Sexually Confused

I was also going to suggest that there is a possibility for people to be asexual, whereby they are just simply not interested in sex with anyone. And while not common, it is a known thing.

You should search the internet and see what it says about asexuality. You might find that this includes how you are feeling. There's nothing per se, wrong with it, but you may find it hard to find a mate who will be accepting of that. Many women still want to have some kind of intimacy within their relationship.

Last edited by Kszan; 12-15-2006 at 01:41 PM.

 
Old 12-16-2006, 09:12 AM   #5
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Re: Sexually Confused

Do you think you may be asexual? Only you really know the answer to that. If you're not there's got to be something that turns you on or you're sexually attracted to. Like one of the others said, if you masturbate is there anything you think of or fantasize about when doing so?

Not that you don't know it, but it's either straight, bi, gay or asexual.

Best regards.

-h

 
Old 12-16-2006, 03:37 PM   #6
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Re: Sexually Confused

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dang12
I should be sexually active and have lots of desire, not the opposite.
Do you masturbate? And if so, how often?

 
Old 12-16-2006, 05:32 PM   #7
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Re: Sexually Confused

I think you are sexually immature....don't get offended...

The reason why I said that is that I have very similar experience when I was at the age of 15.

I am very rough with boys....and I am a Rugby player at school.....so I am not a gay.

During that period, I was very interested in girls...but girls as you see it. There were no thoughts of going onto the bed with them or hope for an x-ray vision so that I can see through the clothings.....no..no..I was very decent.

The only day-dreams I can visualize is to be with them...and hug them. At one point, I even told myself that as long as I can hug them and hold them (one at a time of course) and privately sit at the beach under the moonlight....I would be most contented. I told myself I don't want to have sex with any of them...just holding them is already orgasmic.....

Sexual maturity differ from person to person...it was 15 to 16 for me....maybe to you..it is 21 to 22....and 12 to 13 for some.

In fact, this is actually the turning point of sexuality or a starting of sexual perception...so don't worry too much .

I am now sexually active...and in fact very durable in it too


 
Old 12-17-2006, 02:19 AM   #8
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Re: Sexually Confused

I do masturbate occasionally, not anyting hardcore. I have had a few gf's but I never was really into the relationships. I dont think I am sexually immature. I realize being sexually mature is probably mental but I am totally done with puberty (I had a beard in 6th grade).

This might stem from the fact that I have chronic fatique syndrome. Maybe my condition supresses all my desires?

I just hope something changes soon.

 
Old 12-17-2006, 02:50 AM   #9
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Re: Sexually Confused

Sorry .....maybe you are not sexual immature....not physically. So do I. I started masturbating at the age of 13.......maybe I am not emotionally prepared and sexually immature mentally.

Take care and see a doctor if you feel it is more than what I gone thru....or differ from my case.


 
Old 12-17-2006, 07:02 AM   #10
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Re: Sexually Confused

Get your testosterone & estradiol blood tested.

The "T" should be in the upper 1/4 of the range & the "E2" should be in the lower 1/4 of the range.

If the "T" is low ask the doctor to try you on self injected 500iu of HCG twice a week for a month & test you again to see if it helps the levels.

If it doesn't then try self injected 100mg testosterone cypt once a week for a month then test again.

Testosterone is the sex drive hormone for males & females. Too much estradiol E2 can kill the sex drive.

 
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