It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Sexual Health - General Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 06-01-2007, 08:04 AM   #1
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 129
*pig_tails* HB User
Question he can't keep it up during foreplay! is this normal?


my partner & i have been having sex the past 2 months and (both were virgins) and i know foreplay is a must for women..well it is for me.. as in the past we did it like 5 minutes later & it hurt so much for me!!

but later understood that foreplay for minimum of 30minutes is what gets women relaxed & turned on. is better...doesn't hurt but the problem is that my partner can't keep it up while his massaging me or going down on me... so the timing is just not there.

Is that normal for a guy to be hard & then while pleasuring his gf he can't keep it up & goes down?? Because its becoming frustrating as when i'm aroused & ready for him to come in... his not up.

In the past i never slept with anyone but have done other sexual things like foreplay etc.. & they always had it up even 30minutes or an hr... so now i'm confused... even thinking my partners not attracted to me enough etc...

We have discussed this.. he says he gets turned on so easily but when he concentrates on pleasuring me..making sure i'm just goes down. & then its a viscious cycle.... Is this normal~!???

what can we do~!?? now his saying his going to take viagra! but his only 29!!! my self esteem is really getting down.. never thought i'll feel this way just because a guy can't keep it up but...

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 06-01-2007, 03:55 PM   #2
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 353
friendof HB User
Re: he can't keep it up during foreplay! is this normal?

My opinion is that it can happen that way...and it can vary. I know for myself that when I am performing oral on a woman I tend to concentrate fully on her and often go down. It all depends on what I have in mind...if my mind is on entering her then I'm not really fully into doing the oral but can then keep it up. Having said that once she's had all she can take of oral it is usually her turn to turn me doesn't have to be up to me. Do you see my point?? If it is up to me then I can get myself hard too but it's not as fun.

Sounds to me like you are putting a bit of pressure on him and he on himself to be ready to perform once he finishes oral on you, don't expect this every time. Take it as it comes...he needs to be relaxed and everything will be good.

Old 06-01-2007, 06:18 PM   #3
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 129
*pig_tails* HB User
Re: he can't keep it up during foreplay! is this normal?

thanks for your reply!!

he doesn't give me oral for very long..he first touches me everywhere to make me feel relaxed... & i'm not mute during foreplay i do show i am enjoying it etc... & before he does this to me ...i give him oral first... & then he does me...

could it be performance axiety?? i read up something about it... that it could not get up or keep it up... if his focused only on the goal of orgasm???

sorry...i'm just quite new to this... any tips would be much appreciated!!

thank you!

Old 06-04-2007, 03:28 PM   #4
Junior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 32
chancer HB User
Re: he can't keep it up during foreplay! is this normal?

I wouldn't worry about it too much. If he cant stay hard while he's performing, that's a different story. He doesnt' have to be hard and ready all of the time for it to be foreplay. What if he did oral first, and then you next? what about 69? heheh. anyway like friendof suggested, just make it a mutual thing. Turn each other on.

Old 06-04-2007, 03:50 PM   #5
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 353
friendof HB User
Re: he can't keep it up during foreplay! is this normal?

Yes, take your time, spend more time on the foreplay for both of you. It will help the more relaxed he is (and you too). You should consider giving him oral (again even) after he gives you oral if you want to continue on to intercourse. Performance anxiety is probably more common than we like to admit but it's not too overcome. I agree...doesn't have to be so goal oriented...let him know that you are enjoying it no matter what.

Old 06-10-2007, 08:25 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,996
JinL HB UserJinL HB User
Re: he can't keep it up during foreplay! is this normal?

I would say it is probably normal, if he can recover quickly when needed.

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Just wondering if anybody can help Worried in UK Sexual Health - Men 14 12-28-2007 01:34 AM
he can't make me orgasm happygal28 Sexual Health - Women 5 11-28-2007 11:55 PM
Question about foreplay. babydiva Sexual Health - Women 8 01-01-2007 01:28 PM
i can't orgasm from a guy laura84 Sexual Health - Women 4 12-30-2006 04:54 PM
I can't reach orgasam! elsyium Sexual Health - Teens 3 07-04-2005 08:17 PM
weird noises during foreplay AllLovedUp Sexual Health - Teens 5 06-13-2005 12:56 PM
Can't orgasm... I'm missing out!! Help me ladies! PinKeLLe Sexual Health - Women 6 01-06-2005 02:32 PM
bofriend can't satisfy lifeonhold Sexual Health - General 5 08-29-2004 08:14 AM
I need foreplay!!! How to get it? Silent Storm Sexual Health - Men 8 05-24-2004 08:49 AM
Testicular pain during foreplay?! kenny Sexual Health - Men 1 05-04-2004 10:12 AM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:45 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2015 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!